No children at wedding

flea72

cyclingyorkie wrote: »

how are kids supposed to learn how to behave at weddings if they are always excluded?

because you dont go to weddings as a child, so dont need to learn the etiquette. you only get to go to a wedding as an adult, when you know how to abuse the free bar, get totally inebriated, cause a scene, and throw up over the bride as you leave :rotfl:

Flea

*Louise*

rinroo wrote: »

heaven forbid they should sit down on a chair be quiet and not move - i've never met a child like that yet!!

I do know 2 kids who are like that (age 7 and 5) - they sit next to their parents and don't speak to anyone else or play with the other kids.

It's a bit weird really - give me a kid that knows how to have fun any day.

DKLS

My own forthcoming wedding will be child free, which has caused a number of ructions, mainly its my best man who has the biggest issue with my decision, hence I wont be having a best man. Which actually is a bonus, as I have saved over £500/1k if you count the stag do, by not having him there, which can go behind the bar.

TBH these days I only attend weddings that are child free.

PS I am a child hater, so flame away. And re: Fleas comment, I had the snip so I wouldnt have an accident and be complaining in 5 years time.

SugarSpun

We didn't have children at our wedding - mostly because we don't know any. My BIL has a son but since BIL flew in from Florida for two days he didn't fancy bringing the kid with him.

I'm about to have one myself, and wouldn't dream of bringing her anywhere she wasn't specifically welcome. I hear horror stories of people bringing uninvited kids to weddings and it appalls me. My friend's wedding had a child squealing through the vows and then smacking the bride with balloons all through the reception. That would not have gone over well at my wedding, thank you very much.

I fully accept that having a child means that there are times that I'll be unable to go to events that I'd otherwise love to attend because children aren't welcome. The first one is my close friend's wedding - a week after my due date. Mama and baby will for the first few months need to travel mostly in tandem because of breastfeeding - that doesn't mean that the places where my daughter would ordinarily not be welcome suddenly have to accommodate her. I made the decision to have the child, and I'll rearrange myself around the consequences.

Wall o' text says, in summary: bride and groom are hosting the party and get to make the decision. Whiny parents should !!!!!!.

mumps

SugarSpun wrote: »

Wall o' text says, in summary: bride and groom are hosting the party and get to make the decision. Whiny parents should !!!!!!.

Thats fine but it is a two way street, people who are invited can accept or decline and whiny brides and grooms should also !!!!!!. I know some will accept your decision happily but some take it as a major offence and I think it is funny that because it is their big day they think their invites are by Royal Command. :rotfl:As I said in an earlier post both sides need to respect each other.

**MissL2**

Off topic and aside from the children debate; I have never got the it's "MY" day thing! I really don't understand how someone can really think that 50+ people (guests) will spend X amount (i.e. gifts, outfits, transport, hotels, drinks, hen/ stag, 'childcare', prehaps even take a day holiday) and yet the bride and groom consider the whole day to be purely about them. Yes, the whole day will revolve around you and you will naturally be the centre of attention but when I see people screaming "it's may day" and actually think that people will just be treated crappy I just cringe.

I'm considering our day to be pent with the people we love and care about sharing our wedding vows and being part of our first day as Mr and Mrs. Our day will make sure that each one of our guests feel that they have been taken care of.

So back to the children....Our wedding will be for about 150 people including 25 children. We have a daughter and all our friends have children. I think accomodating them is a 2 way thing. We will ensure they are well entertained (our wedding is going to be held in a castle and we have some castle themed entertainment and a magician etc) and it's also down to the parents. We are lucky that we have a very lovely and responsible social network who will look after their children. I honestly think the adults will be worse behaved!

Our friends seemed to have babies in waves- so there are 5 the same age, 6 the same age etc. We are very close to our friends andit just seems a natural progresion that the children grow up together. For us,it's our daughters day too and she'll have a great timeplaying with her friends.

However, I do understand that cost/capacity is an issue for some. Personally I wouldn't be offended in the slightest if the bride/ groom explained that for this reason children were not invited. If I got a snotty 'we're not having kids they'll ruin it' then I wouldn't go- the way you handle it is very important. At the end of the day no one wants to be told their child i a nuisance (even if they are).

Lx

SugarSpun

mumps wrote: »

Thats fine but it is a two way street, people who are invited can accept or decline and whiny brides and grooms should also !!!!!!. I know some will accept your decision happily but some take it as a major offence and I think it is funny that because it is their big day they think their invites are by Royal Command. :rotfl:As I said in an earlier post both sides need to respect each other.

An invitation isn't an obligation - people who'll be upset that their kids aren't invited can decline and should not feel it appropriate to complain about it. Equally, couples who know that childcare issues mean that their friends can't attend, but don't want/can't afford to have kids present shouldn't whinge when their friends don't show up.

The guest list of any event is only the business of the hosts. That's just how it goes.

IWantToBeFree_2

We had kids at our wedding, quite a fair few as well and it was only the under 2's that weren't catered for (at full adult price). We have always maintained that kids were welcome and it was the parents decision whether to bring them or not, they are all part of my family afterall, and I wanted to make sure that everyone was there to share our day.

Some of the kids were a little bit noisy in church, however, they were taken out, and to be honest, I was that in awe of what was happening between me and my husband that I just zoned out from everyone else.

Apparently at the reception a couple of the teenagers were drunk and some of the parents were getting a bit fraught when their 'little girls' who they had dressed up to look a LOT older were getting male attention (same age group - don't know what problem is) but I was completely and utterly oblivious to it and it certainly didn't ruin my day!

It is down to personal choice though and I can understand why people may not want Children at their wedding, but for me, i wouldn't have had it any other way

melorablack

flea72 wrote: »

As for people saying 'Its My Day' - you have alot to learn about family, and all the associated protocol. No-one forgets how you treated them, especially family, and thinking that a wedding is just about you, is a bit ....... - A wedding is the joining of two families, not just two people

My mum and OH's mum are coming to our wedding and only because we need 2 witnesses. If we didn't need witnessnes no-one would be coming.

And it is MY day. Every other member of the families will have/has had their day and now it's my turn. I don't care if they don't like it but if they can't accept I'm doing it the way I want then they don't have a place in my family.

If they want to pay for themselves to come to my wedding then they're welcome....but as I have to pay for it all myself I'm doing what I want.

IWantToBeFree_2

Your day? What about your OH? Even if you don't want to share it with anyone else, you'd think you would at least see it as a day for the both of you and not just yourself!