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No children at wedding

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  • **MissL2**
    **MissL2** Posts: 183 Forumite
    edited 23 July 2009 at 9:43PM
    I don't see why people have to get so mean about other people big day. We all do what we thinks right and works for us I don't think there's any need to get nasty about other peoples wedding who may have opposing views.

    I would 100% respect a friend who respectfully told me the invitation was just for me and OH and if I felt it was unreasonable I simply would politely decline. We are a family of 3 but we love spending time together on our own. However if someone was being a****y the last thing I would want to do is spend £150 on a present for a couple who don't respect we're a family.

    Lx



    Lx
    Free of NEXT Hooray!!!
  • tartantotty
    tartantotty Posts: 478 Forumite
    We will have 5 under 4's (from only 20 guests!) at our ceremony and wedding breakfast. My MOH runs a nursery so I am hopng to get a couple of her nursery nurses to come along and 'babysit' during the ceremony, in a room next door. None of the children belong to me and my OH2B, and in all honesty, in a small room and a civil ceremony, I dont want to be disrupted by wee children crying, talking etc. It sounds harsh, and if I had kids of my own I am sure I would think differently. However, I think having someone to watch the kids during the ceremony is a good compromise, and I am willing to pay for it. The nursery nurses will be qualified and experienced, and it means that the parents dont ned to find/pay for babysitters. That said, I am unsure of how many of of the children will actually come.

    I am not bothered at all about kids at night, I quite like seeing them having a wee dance and stuff, I just want the ceremony to be about me and the man I love most in the world (yuck, I am in a soppy mood today:rotfl:), with no snotty noses, crying or chatting about teletubbies or whatever children watch these days!!
  • kr15snw
    kr15snw Posts: 2,264 Forumite
    I am not bothered at all about kids at night, I quite like seeing them having a wee dance and stuff, I just want the ceremony to be about me and the man I love most in the world (yuck, I am in a soppy mood today:rotfl:), with no snotty noses, crying or chatting about teletubbies or whatever children watch these days!!

    Same here! I love kids at discos, so cute!

    But during the day we cant make the room for them for the ceremony / meal. Hence why we have said well welcome all kids to the evening, but not the day.
    Green and White Barmy Army!
  • I have enjoyed reading everybody's opinions and would just like to put in my tuppence worth. When my favourite brother got married - a long, long time ago! - I wasn't invited. Admittedly, we lived in a rural location, there was little transport available, and also money was tight. I was really upset at being left at home, and having to go to school. However, a year later I met my new SIL's brother, and at the age of 13 fell madly in love with him, although he was a man of 19. Fast forward 7.5 years, and we married and have been together for 48 and a bit years. But, yes, I can remember the disappointment, and at our own low key wedding, we had children and it was great. Mind you, that was in the days when parents did control their kids!! At our children's weddings, there were wee ones around, and all were well behaved and didn't throw tantrums.
    Times change, however, and the main thing is to try and enjoy your day and do what you want. Best wishes to the OP.:beer:
    Mad about cats - or maybe just mad! :rotfl:
  • irishjohn
    irishjohn Posts: 1,349 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I would like to hear the other side of this debate. I hate weddings and all the superficialities they require me to endure. Having to dress up, pose for photos, stand around for ages talking to people I hardly know, generally look as if I am enjoying myself and am really happy to be spending my day at this big event.

    Fortunately I am past the stage of my peers marrying, but the nieces and nephews are starting to plan their big day. Can anyone advise me what people will think when I politely decline the invitations to these weddings without giving any excuse or reason, as to why I cannot be there?
    John
  • maggie111
    maggie111 Posts: 1,130 Forumite
    John - they'll think "brilliant, that's saved us £50 and means we can have a friend in his place now!"

    That's what I hear most of the time. If you really cared what they thought send a card and a gift token too :)

    As long as you're not being badgered by your brothers and sisters as to why you're not going, I'm sure your nieces and nephews will be happy with a polite decline with no reason given.
    I love surprises!
  • Marky123
    Marky123 Posts: 159 Forumite
    irishjohn.

    If you hate weddings and are not planning on going to any.
    What are you doing on this thread or on this board?
    Mark
  • DKLS
    DKLS Posts: 13,461 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    rinroo wrote: »
    Good Job your mum didnt have the same attitude or else you wouldn't be here!!

    Some how, I think the childfree amongst us will have heard that line many, many times before.

    Now where is that yawn icon?

    From the moment I announced my own wedding, i have been given all sorts of "advice" of when is the right time to have kids, ranging from immediately to 5 years.

    Erm do I look like I want my life ruining?
  • sooz
    sooz Posts: 4,560 Forumite
    I'm going to get flamed to a crisp for this.

    I'm TTC, have been for a long time and now I'm hitting the point where things are incredibly raw, painful and I can't deal with being around children or babies right now - for me, it feels like pouring vinegar into an open cut, only the cut is in my heart and I literally want to squirm and run away from the reminder of what is going wrong in our lives.

    I found out the other day that my cousin, when faced with being forced to get work or lose her benefits, decided quite openly that she'd have a baby to milk the system a little more (there is more on this on the TTC 12 month thread - this is a girl with a history of lies, half-hearted suicide attempts, false rape allegations - anything for attention and to avoid having to get a job)... and that the baby will be around for our wedding. I'm angry, I'm beyond angry, I'm bitter, I feel terribly for the bairn cos its "mother" won't do anything - will farm it off onto her partner who does all the housework, cooking everything (despite barely being able to walk) - and, while I HAVE to invite my cousin to the wedding - I would find her being there playing the "I'm a mother, it's so hard, I'm entitled to all of this look at how fabulous I am" etc etc etc - incredibly hard to bare and I'm quite likely to spend most of MY wedding day in the toilets sat on the bog crying my eyes out to be honest.

    Because of that - because it causes me such extreme pain at the moment - I'm printing my wedding invitations with the info sheet stating "no children"... and to be honest, if I offend anyone - I couldn't care less for once. I've spent my entire life doing what was expected, being the good girl, giving up what I wanted to do for fear of hurting other people's feelings and disappointing them - they're all disappointed in me anyway so why did I bother? If she shows up with the baby - she's going to be asked to leave. It means I've got to risk leaving out some lovely children I'd gladly have around - but I just want one day in my life where I think of myself and my oh first, instead of constantly tip-toeing around trying to be the one who pleases everyone. Things are so raw and painful right now I'd either punch her, or just end up sobbing all day - why should I have to feel like that on my one day? Heck - even my graduation day was all about pleasing my dying grandmother - I've never ever had a day just for me.

    I'd love to have kids like my friend's little boy there - he's a wonderful, beautifully behaved young man - one of our other Brownie leaders had the entire pack at her wedding (and has some beautiful photographs of herself with the girls) - but because of this situation with Madam !!!!!!!!!!, and the pain it will cause me - I'm going to have to say no.

    There you go - flame away about how I'm an evil child-hating witch - also feel free to use the fact I'm a teacher as added amunition for it.

    I haven't read the rest of the thread or yours on the TTC thread, but I just had to reply to this. Don't invite her or her baby. It's your day. Invite people you like. Including the nice little boys you like.
  • JoeyG
    JoeyG Posts: 1,392 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    My band gets hired for weddings pretty much every weekend from May til September, I can't remember a wedding yet where there haven't been any kids, in fact it would seem a bit strange.... the adults are always worse behaved, especially past 9pm

    My mate got married a few weeks ago and had a giant bouncy castle suitable for adults too... it was very popular
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