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No children at wedding

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  • itzmee
    itzmee Posts: 401 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts
    mumps wrote: »
    Reading this thread has made me really glad that we just went off with immediate family and two close friends without any fuss. No new clothes, special licence and one days notice. No stress, no falling out, not much money spent. It really was my day and I loved it. Oh there were two children and they were fine, six adults and us so total of ten. I hope everyone is able to enjoy their day as much as I enjoyed mine.

    I am planning on doing exactly this. I don't intend to invite anyone except for our parents and I'll give them a few days notice. In fact I'm not even sure whether I want my own kids there as this is my day and I don't want to spend my time making sure they're ok, not playing up or bored etc, and I certainly don't want to end up losing my temper with them and ruining the day! We originally wanted to book a wedding next month but we may even wait until they're back at school in September when we both have a day off together ;).
  • Stephb1986_2
    Stephb1986_2 Posts: 6,279 Forumite
    I wouldn't be having any kids at the ceremony but they would be invited to the reception till 8pm, I don't particularly like kids to be honest but my OH's sister has 3 kids I have 1 niece so I guess that 8pm would be bed time for them.

    I've never really liked kids especially my OH's sisters kids they don't know how to behave and I wouldn't want them spoiling the day by fighting and falling out.

    My OH totally agrees with me too. If people don't like that idea then they don't have to come.

    Steph xx
  • lilian1977
    lilian1977 Posts: 5,157 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I am only having one child at my wedding and that is my brother's daughter, she will be 10 months old and they are flying over from Russia for the wedding so I can't exactly say she can't come (and I wouldn't want to).

    However, our ceremony will only hold 40 people, which after parents and siblings, bridesmaid and best man, leaves about 15 guests each for me and OH - which actually amounts to less when you factor in partners. So there simply isn't any room for children unless I want to exclude very close friends.

    Our afternoon is being spent on a boat with 45 capacity - not safe for children really. And the evening is at a restaurant with 45 capacity - so again, no room at all.

    I understand why people want children at weddings but I also completely understand when people don't. And really, it IS the couple's day - it's a day you will remember for the rest of your life so the couple deserves to remember it the way they want to rather than have it affected by having/not having children there.
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  • shellnapier
    shellnapier Posts: 505 Forumite
    flea72 wrote: »
    I always laugh when people are adamant about no kids at their wedding

    You can bet your bottom dollar, that they will be the ones who kick up the biggest fuss in 5yrs time, when they get invited out somewhere, and get told that darling little johnny isnt invited

    As for people saying 'Its My Day' - you have alot to learn about family, and all the associated protocol. No-one forgets how you treated them, especially family, and thinking that a wedding is just about you, is a bit ....... - A wedding is the joining of two families, not just two people

    Flea

    i totally agree - we have a small venue only aloud up 2 50 guests, but every1 comeoing are haivng there kids invited
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  • nearlyrich
    nearlyrich Posts: 13,698 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Hung up my suit!
    My brother was getting married when my youngest was just a month old, I also had an 18 month old. My other brother had two of similar ages, both my SIL and myself were BF at the time and neither had access to a babysitter outside the immediate family who were all going to the wedding. After we had forked out for new clothes etc my soon to be SIL decided no kid's at her wedding so we couldn't go, the wedding was about 40 miles away too which made it even more dificult to get a sitter as we couldnt pop in to check everyone was OK.
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  • mumps
    mumps Posts: 6,285 Forumite
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    itzmee wrote: »
    I am planning on doing exactly this. I don't intend to invite anyone except for our parents and I'll give them a few days notice. In fact I'm not even sure whether I want my own kids there as this is my day and I don't want to spend my time making sure they're ok, not playing up or bored etc, and I certainly don't want to end up losing my temper with them and ruining the day! We originally wanted to book a wedding next month but we may even wait until they're back at school in September when we both have a day off together ;).

    Hope you have a great day, i am sure you will. Don't wish to cause offence so hope you take this in the way it is intended. A friend of mine had an even quieter wedding than mine. Just her and h2b and two strangers off the street as witnesses. She was happy, so was he, the two kids were surprised and happy, I think they were about 10 and 12 at the time. Well few years later the younger one was being a teenager, one day in a heated discussion :eek: she told her mother how hurt she was that she had been left out and that she had been very upset at the time. It all settled down and my friend told the kids she was sorry and would do it differently if she could go back. She was upset though, kid probably just winding her up but made her think about her decision. Good luck with you decision, not an easy one. Sorry if that was too much information, I don't want to spoilt it for you.
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  • rinroo
    rinroo Posts: 945 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Whilst I understand everyone's reasons for inviting/not inviting children to their wedding, I am quite surprised at a few people opinions.

    Children learn from what they see, and if there behaviour isn't good, then the fault is usually with the parents. Like parents who (thankfully I haven't come across this at a wedding yet) sit back and drink whilst their child who is understandably full of excitement, is running around and being allowed to do whatever.

    That's the parents fault and i'd rather not invite them all rather than just not inviting the children.

    Thankfully all 14 nieces/nephews + 2 friends childrens and 2 of my own!! all know what is acceptable, yes they will be full of beans running around and laughing and dancing but they are children, its what they do, heaven forbid they should sit down on a chair be quiet and not move - i've never met a child like that yet!!

    Anyway - I am more than happy to have children at my wedding, we are thinking of drawing the line in the evening or else we would end up with well over 40+ children, but if people are stuck then they are more than welcome to bring their child.
  • Shiny.Side.Up
    Shiny.Side.Up Posts: 164 Forumite
    edited 21 July 2009 at 9:12AM
    rinroo wrote: »
    Anyway - I am more than happy to have children at my wedding, we are thinking of drawing the line in the evening or else we would end up with well over 40+ children, but if people are stuck then they are more than welcome to bring their child.


    Brother and to-be SIL are doing something similar. Children at the wedding, children at the dinner and then at 9pm the children are being asked to leave so that it turns into an adults-only do.

    As for the issue of the bride finding her own fertility issues a problem (ie, finding it a "bitter" experience to have children at the wedding) my best friend - marrying in Sept - has had 4 miscarriages in the 2 years her and partner have been togethers and have yet to have a successful pregnancy. She says that although yes, seeing people with children does make her feel slightly bitter, it's not those children's fault that she cannot have children, so why should they be punished and excluded from one the happiest and most important days of her life?
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  • barnaby-bear
    barnaby-bear Posts: 4,142 Forumite
    Wench wrote: »
    I am absolutly hating that children will be coming to my wedding, but all of our friends ( except maybe 2 couples ) have children,
    I have 3 kids of my own, and for some reason, people think if you have kids, you must love kids.. actually I don't, I can't stand other peoples children.
    The OH's sister actually has 7 children ( 5 of them are 7 & under ) and I'm hoping and praying she can't make the wedding, I don't want all of kids there !!

    Actually, my friends children arn't that bad, You get into that small group of friends, where you can tell the child off without the parent coming over to lamp you one, but with OH's sister.. i dont know her kids, they don;t know me (I'd rather it wa kept that way )

    Purely selfish post here to whine about kids :D

    I might go and stick something up on the wedding site of mine.. no kids under 3... that'll mean 3 of her's won;t be able to come. haha

    Tell them the venue charge 80% of adult price for each kid and ask them to pay for the kids you don't know - amazing how many people aren't bothered about bringing the little darlings when it's them paying £40 for their meal - £280 bill should deter.....
  • cyclingyorkie
    cyclingyorkie Posts: 4,234 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    how are kids supposed to learn how to behave at weddings if they are always excluded?
    :jFlylady and proud of it:j
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