No children at wedding

lindaatno9

I lost the thread but said I'd be back. Here's what I got.

The "Adults Only" Wedding Reception

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It's quite a long piece of info so here's the link http://www.superweddings.com/etiquette.html

HTH xxxx

thebaroness

Interesting but I'm not sure I like the next article about having an open bar. That's one 'tradition' I'll happily break!

talulahbeige_2

lindaatno9 wrote: »

[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]. Some people argue that it it is rude and improper to exclude the younger members of a family that is on the wedding guest list. Some insist that a wedding is all about family and the circle of life, and that eliminating children from attendance at the wedding is therefore inappropriate.[/FONT]

This is something that gets me wound up, although it doesnt seem to have been an issue for my wedding, which is adults only.

What do these people think your going to do?
If i went by that argument I would have 2 choices for my wedding

1 - Invite children and increase the numbers by 24 (and thats before the buns that are already in the oven and planned buns) We certainly cant afford that

2 - Don;t invite the people who have children, that means our guest list would be more than cut in half to about 30 and most of our friends would be missing and some family.

IT'S MINE AND MY OTHER HALFS WEDDING!
i dont want 24 under 8's running around, I dont want to get married in a creche,

I dont want to have to shout over the noise when i say my vows and I want to hear my OH say his vows to me.

I want to be able to dance to the band i have paid a small fortune for without standing on some child in my heels.

I went to a wedding last year that had 8 little ones at it and that was very painful, can you imagine what 24 would be like?

If people take offence that I want to spend MY money how I want to make MY day how I want it then they aren't my freinds. They are selfish individuals who can't see past their own little world.

Lucikly I havent encountered this issue (yet i hope) I have made it clear all along that children aren't invited and talked openly about it. A freind also set a precedent last year too which was handy.

Rant over!

For the record - i do like children and i love my mates kids very much.

lindaatno9

You quoted me and I was quoting the text. These aren't my views. I love kids too!!:beer:

talulahbeige_2

lindaatno9 wrote: »

You quoted me and I was quoting the text. These aren't my views. I love kids too!!:beer:

Sorry Linda if it came across as I was ranting at you, I wasn't, I realised it was a quote from an article. It just winds me up

debs2327

hi ya i totally understand y some ppl doesnt want kids at there wedding but in another sense i kind of think they make a wedding , my cuzins hubbys is standing outside of our ceremony so they dont distrupt the ceremony and letting there missus watch me get married in peace lol i think most of the ppl who has kids is doing this which is good for me cos it means i dont have to include the kids in my registry ceremony as ive got limited spaces , but im looking forward to seeing all the kids at the reception and photos , but saying that my venue has a playground park in the field next to pub so dont really think i`ll see many of them xx i dont think ppl should be singled out or frowned upon if they choose not to have kids at there wedding i think really its only the ppl who dont really socalise around children who do it so you can understand xx

Athome1

When my neighbours got married recently (and they have 2 very small children of their own who were the page and bridesmaid) they just said because of numbers they were sorry but children were not invited. I don't think anyone was insulted/upset and I think everyone attended who'd been invited. In fact I heard some parents saying how much they were enjoying themselves without their children in attendance!!

kelda_shelton

I feel bad but we're not having kids either apart from my 3 nieces who are in the wedding party.

Lots of friends plus some cousins have children many who have just had babies so we would have had over 12 kids to our 33 adults! And obviously would
have had to pay for them too.. and we're on a budget.

One couple will be coming from inverness and the wee one will only be 9 months by that time. I feel really bad about them.. but I cant tell them to bring her and not let anyone else bring their kids... I'm in a bit of a quandry of how to break it to them... I'm not sure thwy'd want tohe wee one at the wedding anyway but the problem is them being so far away its not like they can just get a babysitter for the day..

Mind you my best friend will have a one month old and shes already roped the inlaws in to coming with them (as she isnt local either) and staying at a nearby B&B for the night so the wee one is nearby!!

indiepuss

Personally I think children make a wedding but realise that others do not think this.


However, I went to a wedding of one of my best friends last year where this was the policy, but my son was less than 6 months old and totally breastfed. The wedding was 40 miles away from my home and on a weekday. To meet the 'no children' rule, three people had to have a day off work, I had to 'pump' for weeks before to build up a stock of milk in the freezer, and I also had to take said breast pump to the wedding and 'relieve myself' three times as my boobs felt like they were exploding and to maintain my supply (sorry, too much info!). I ended up leaving after the main course as it was too complicated, and I haven't spoken to her since!

I haven't fell out with her, and don't disagree because it was her wedding and her decision. She was important to me, so I had to go to the wedding, but I did feel she was totally ignnorant of mine and my baby's needs.

That said, if she got married now, I would jump at the chance of a good party with my son (now 15 mths) looked after by grandparents!

flea72

I always laugh when people are adamant about no kids at their wedding

You can bet your bottom dollar, that they will be the ones who kick up the biggest fuss in 5yrs time, when they get invited out somewhere, and get told that darling little johnny isnt invited

As for people saying 'Its My Day' - you have alot to learn about family, and all the associated protocol. No-one forgets how you treated them, especially family, and thinking that a wedding is just about you, is a bit ....... - A wedding is the joining of two families, not just two people

Flea

kelda_shelton

indiepuss wrote: »

That said, if she got married now, I would jump at the chance of a good party with my son (now 15 mths) looked after by grandparents!

Its funny because my partners best man had a wee one very prematurly last November and shes not long out of hospital. And so I thought they would be the ones that would want their wee one there because they ahve gone thru so much worry with her. But actually we hadnt even mentioned it to them.. and they told us - Emma will not be at your wedding - and we were like phew! And that was the same with my best friend (she found out she was ecxpecting a week after I asked her to be my BM) she was like I know it'll only be small but I want the day to myself but have the wee one close by if I am needed etc.

From a logistical and cost point of view it just wont work for us. If we only had one or two kids then that would be all fine and dandy but because of the amount of kids we're talking about, we had to make a decision...

so its a 6 yo and 8 yo (who is 8 on the day of our wedding and she is SOOOO excited!!) and a 12 yo who'll be in attendance all day, with an additional 7 kids (all over 6 yo) invited for the night time part.. whether they come or not I dont know... the parents might quite enjoy the break!!