No children at wedding

RoxieW

I was totally up 4 inviting children to our wedding - until our engagement party. We had decorations ripped down, flower heads pulled off, balloons released out of the fire doors and children escaping across a field while their parents drunk on oblivious! I spent my night chasing round after other peoples kids! After that I retracted the 'verbal' invitation to the kids which made us extremely unpopular but there was no way i was forking 2 yrs worth of savings and sacrificing the most special day of my life! It did cause some bad feeling but if people could control their children then it wouldnt be a problem. In my experience alcohol and children dont mix!

Yellowbug

RoxieW wrote: »

I was totally up 4 inviting children to our wedding - until our engagement party. We had decorations ripped down, flower heads pulled off, balloons released out of the fire doors and children escaping across a field while their parents drunk on oblivious! I spent my night chasing round after other peoples kids! After that I retracted the 'verbal' invitation to the kids which made us extremely unpopular but there was no way i was forking 2 yrs worth of savings and sacrificing the most special day of my life! It did cause some bad feeling but if people could control their children then it wouldnt be a problem. In my experience alcohol and children dont mix!

oh dear, sounds like you had a bit of a disaster
its a shame, but at least this way you wont spend the day worrying about it

I spent most of my engagement party being chased by children with a hose lol but to be honest it was my idea as it was baking hot and we all needed to cool down a bit

rosie-lee

I have no problem at all being invited to a 'no kids' do, in fact I love it, as mine are now 7 & 2 and we are very lucky to have family close by who are glad to babysit when they can.

However my hubby was a best man when our baby was just a couple of months old and whilst I wasn't BFing, it was difficult to be away for a full day & night.

There is a huge difference between having toddlers/older children running about and babies upto a few months old. After all the babies pretty much just lie in their prams and the oldies love passing them round for a cuddle.

Personally if I knew someone was breast feeding or had a very young baby, I would be a little more lenient. Anyone with older children would have to be a real meanie to feel aggrieved or feel that you were cherry picking. Surely anyone can see the difference.

I would also ask the priest or registrar to point out at the start of the ceremony that if babies starting crying they can take them through the doors to wherever. So there is no excuse not too.

My own sister let her son whinge all the way through the beautiful poem I read at my cousin's wedding. For gawds sake parents, take your kids out when they make a noise - they really do ruin a ceremony whether you like kids or not.

Mrsday2Be_2

We're having 27 kids at our wedding in February and we would not consider having the day without them there. We are having a balloon entertainer and activity packs for the kids to keep them busy and all the very little ones are being taken home early in the evening (9pm) to avoid the inevitable 'too tired temper tantrum' onset.

That being said, both my partner and I come from families that are responsible and more importantly accountable when it comes to their childrens behaviour.
Our expectations of childrens behaviour at the event have been explained to the parents and the children and apart from the usual threats of groundings and punishment via removal of various gaming devices - it has been threatened by these parents that any child misbehaving at Aunty Kelly & Uncle Jason's wedding will get 'The Look' from Aunty Kel - apparently this is not a GOOD thing and supersedes in punishment value anything their parents could come up with. lol :rotfl:

Having been part of weddings where parents clearly felt they were not responsible for their children, used the reception venue as a creche and acted like they had a right to do whatever they wanted...I fully support ANY couple who make the choice to say 'No Thanks' when it comes to children attending their very expensive and emotionally important event.

Nothing is more painful than watching a Bride try to smile as she struggles to hear her new husbands hand written wedding vows over the wail of some insensitive idiot's small child - while she trys not to think about how much of the wedding video will be unusable thanks to a two year old temper tantrum in full flight.
Or the Best Man struggling to get through his painstackingly prepared and highly nervewracking speech whilst three small, apparently orphaned, children run screaming around the dancefloor.

If you are a parent, consider how accountable you are when you attend someone's wedding - are you one of the ones that think it's quite OK for Little Johnny to run around on the dance floor with his cousins before the speeches (after all, surely no one will mind and everyone will think it's so cute that they're so excited) or who don't mind that Little Molly is 'collecting' and dismantling all of the very expensive floral centrepieces to create confetti to strew everywhere (after all, isn't it funny that she wants to be a Bride too?).

Please take a step back and reconsider the people who invited you to their big day - they respected you enough to invite you to share their special moment...how much respect are you showing them. The bounds of friendship and family extend only so far - in our case we have made it clear from the outset that children at our event shall either behave...or be gone.

kr15snw

I think it varies from party to party. We had the kids at our engagement and it was lovely, they ran around, played with balloons and generally looked cute.

BUT for our wedding, our ceremony room only holds 65 people. This means we have room for our families and a small selection of best friends. If we were to invite the family kids (cousins kids) then we couldnt invite a single friend. We didnt want this. So we've said no to kids in the day (except our 4 nieces, 2 of which are flower girls), but they are all welcome in the evening.

This means that we have 4 family kids (cousins kids) and about 6 kids of friends who wont be coming. BUT none of these kids where at our engagement as their parents decided a night out without them would be great. So we know we shouldnt have a problem with the kids not coming to the day

Oh and to note about noisy kids. At my cousins wedding we were all invited (including the kids). My cousins 2 babies (well 1 toddler) cried / talked through the entire service. Although they tried to calm them they kept going for half an hour. At no point did my cousin think about taking them out of the room??? But at H2Bs cousins wedding his sister was there with her 2 kids (newborn and 2 years). Toddler was told to be quiet, and she was Baby started to cry and within a split second mum had her out of the room.

I cant believe people dont leave the room during a service if the kids start to cry etc??

rinroo

kr15snw wrote: »

I cant believe people dont leave the room during a service if the kids start to cry etc??

I know!!

I missed the whole of my sisters exchange of vows a few years ago when my now 4 year old was only a few weeks old, he wasn't happy so I left the room and then had everyone coming out wiping tears it was that moving apparently - I then got told off by said sister for leaving!! :rotfl:

aconitum

before I start I want to say I think it is up to the individual couples to make the choice and there is no right or wrong answer.

When hubby and me got married we had 36 (yes 36) under 10's at our wedding .Admittedly we had 200 guests and mum did the catering complete with kiddies food table and party bags...just as well really or we would have had egg on our faces ...11days before the big day I gave birth after a concealed pregnancy..(in other words apart for the last week i didn't know i was pregnant) bit of shock.:eek:

mumps

I absolutely agree that it is the couples day and if they don't want kids there then so be it. I hope they understand that it is my choice if I want to go without my children. I don't see any reason for offence on either side.

iwanttosave_2

I'd rather have a cheaper venue than exclude people because I can't afford them to be honest.

maggie111

My tuppence regarding children at a wedding is I can understand why some people don't want it - I think people who have been told they can't bring their kids shouldn't kick up a fuss, if they cared that much they should just decline the invite. And therefore the couple who don't want children shouldn't in turn be annoyed that some people they want there don't come.

Having said that I will invite kids to my wedding, but then I don't have to invite 24 like someone said at the beginning!!