Husband too strict

LonelyLil

Pee wrote: »

If you've recently gone back to working full time and lost your best friend, you're going to be in a difficult place mentally - feeling you are not making enough time for your children, having noone to talk to in a "girlie" way. If you just want to vent and let off steam, a man is probably not the best person to do it to as he will try to identify a problem and want to help - there is no real problem, or not one that can be solved, you just need to get it off your chest.

I wonder would counselling through the doctor for grief help? Do you have any other close friends?

I am sorry, she didnt die, but we did fall out and I am not speaking to her. I have been very upset about it though and am on tablets from the doctor as the whole thing made me ill.

I have no other close friends. This is something I need to work on, but not sure how?

Nicki

Pee wrote: »

If you've recently gone back to working full time and lost your best friend, you're going to be in a difficult place mentally - feeling you are not making enough time for your children, having noone to talk to in a "girlie" way. If you just want to vent and let off steam, a man is probably not the best person to do it to as he will try to identify a problem and want to help - there is no real problem, or not one that can be solved, you just need to get it off your chest.

I wonder would counselling through the doctor for grief help? Do you have any other close friends?

I agree with Pee, and might also advise that you think about whether you want to keep posting on this thread! I know you have found some of the perspectives food for thought, which is great, but there is the potential for it to turn into a bit of an emotional drubbing for you, and it sounds like that's the last thing you need at the moment.

A nice night out with OH might be just the ticket. I know you have problems with babysitters but surely your kids are old enough now to be left without a babysitter for a few hours in the evening while you go somewhere local for a meal and an unwind (not to talk about this incident though!)

LonelyLil

Nicki wrote: »

I agree with Pee, and might also advise that you think about whether you want to keep posting on this thread! I know you have found some of the perspectives food for thought, which is great, but there is the potential for it to turn into a bit of an emotional drubbing for you, and it sounds like that's the last thing you need at the moment.

A nice night out with OH might be just the ticket. I know you have problems with babysitters but surely your kids are old enough now to be left without a babysitter for a few hours in the evening while you go somewhere local for a meal and an unwind (not to talk about this incident though!)

Money is tight at the moment (hence the reason for me going back to work) but maybe we could just go for a walk or something.

Pee

There is a thread - probably more than one - with cheap date ideas. Check that out.

Wishing you all the best.

mikey72

Sounds like any normal dad to me. My teenagers start out with something insignificant, get a punishment, such as being told to go upstairs, then I get loads of backchat, winds me up further , and they finish in their room for the night, and I feel bad for getting to that stage as well.
We are exactly the same with the cleaning up their mess, my wife complained I was making them do too much, so I stopped being the evil one, and let them do as much as she does.
Now she goes out to work all day, comes home, picks up everything they own, tidies their rooms, cleans up all the food plates and cups they leave everywhere, and goes to bed exhausted. So be careful what you wish for. Someone has to be the evil parent, you can't both be their best mates.
Just to be clear though, they are good kids, just human as well.

wes_cov

Ok As everyone else has had the 2p's worth i thought i would have a say lol

Yes i think it was a little harsh punishemnts need to be proportionate otherwise you get to the top end and you have no punishments left that fit the crime so toy speak.

I agree with mikey72 re the someone needs to be the evil parent (disiplinarian evil is a little harsh lol) but this doesn't have to be to extremes where your children no longer love and respect you.

I do also think a few people on here have gone OTT on the counselling front when all the OP came on for was a little advice

Hope you manage to sit down and have a chat with you hubby OP you obviosly both love and care for one another and just want the best for each other. I think what your hubby is doing is just trying to make your life as easy as possible by preventing stress to you because he loves you.

bu thats just my opinion on the limited information i have hope everything works out

moiramber

LonelyLil wrote: »

No offence, but your child is just a baby. You do see things very differently when they get older.

I don't think my son coming first will change depending what age he is at the time

LonelyLil

moiramber wrote: »

I don't think my son coming first will change depending what age he is at the time

Do you expect your mum to put you first before her wants and needs?

Our kids grow up and apart from us. It is normal. Letting go and getting your own life back is healthy. You will see that in time. We all thought the same when our kids were babies and that they would always be number one.

If you put your son first for the rest of your life that is very sad and will be smothering for him.

mikey72

moiramber wrote: »

I don't think my son coming first will change depending what age he is at the time

Mine come first.
However they need to know what a normal integrated family life is, and that there are consequences to all their actions, good and bad.
I will change anything I can to give them want they need, which isn't always what they want, and that's where we always disagree with each other. I won't always feel good about it either, being a parent isn't about the easy option.

Any

I am lost here.
Don't you think that OH and child are supposed to be equally loved in a family?

I don't know what is everyone talking about, I married my husband not to give me children, but to share whole my life with him..