MIL - am I a bad person?

DianneB

Hi Pokey, have just read this thread through and would like to say I hope tomorrow goes well. Bite your tongue and get through the day. Then forget about all the stress this has caused you and enjoy your son's first birthday. Hugs to you both.

mrscb

How was the funeral?

consultant31

pokey128 wrote: »

Hi again!
Just for the record - right from the start I said that i thought I was in the wrong for thinking that organising a funeral on the same day as your only grandson's birthday was out of order so please don't have a go at me anymore.

I've changed the party and will be taking DS to the funeral on Monday (standing at the back so not to disturb anyone) and I will just get on with it.

None of this means I am going to like or be liked anymore by my MIL - that has nothing to do with the funeral though.

Maybe my partner would be better finding someone his mother will like but I fear he may be looking for a long time if that's the case. All i wanted from a MIL was someone who treated me with a little respect, didn''t want me to "get rid" of DS, isn't planning on wearing a black hat to our wedding and doesn't think "there is no point" in meeting my family

xx

If you have an in-law who is determined to hate you, in my experience there's no point letting it bother you.

My FIL was a complete b**tard towards me until the day he died. He tried hard on countless occasions to split my husband and me up - even going so far as to tell DH that our second and third child weren't his and that he had the proof :eek: (this because they were girls and 'dispensable' as far as he was concerned).

He came to live with us (supposedly for a few weeks) when MIL died, and ended up here for 15 years until he died. For 5 of those years we never spoke though I dished him up 3 meals a day......I never even got a 'thank-you'. In the end I was the one who 'gave in' as I couldn't stand any more of the tension.

He hated me from the time I came to show him and future MIL my engagement ring - up to then, we'd got on fine. That day he told DH that I only wanted him for his money and things went downhill from there. Incidentally, DH and I are still happily married (after 30 years) and still I've not seen much money, lol. Many of our memories are based on gaffs that FIL came out with which, to his chagrin, drew us more firmly together rather than tearing us apart. I got (and still get) a lot of pleasure from that.

My point is, hateful in-laws are in the background of your life, ignore them if you can, nod, smile sweetly and go your own way. Your DH and child will have a happier wife/mum and you can get your reward in heaven as they say

Happy birthday to your little one:bdaycake: