Ex wants to take my child to Miami, I am lost!!

pineapple123

Keep us posted Tinuel and hope everything works out well as possible for everyone involved.

Errata

Although your daughter is young, living in another country for a couple of years is an experience she will remember all her life and one that may never come her way again.
As others have said, these days there are cheap flights and some very cheap motels in Miama if you can't stay at your wife's place.
I truly think it's something you have to decide with your wife. A child of seven doesn't have the understanding, experience or indeed cognitive ability to weigh up all the pros and cons of living in another country and not seeing a parent for months at a stretch.

Catblue

Can you compromise that she goes to Miami with her mum for one year and then returns and stays with you for the second year?

In the second year, she could maybe do a catch-up at summer school before she goes back to school in this country.

loftus

It's going off topic a bit and doesn't help the OP but I'm curious to know whether opinions would have been different if it were the father proposing to take the daughter to Miami for 2 years.

whitewing

loftus wrote: »

It's going off topic a bit and doesn't help the OP but I'm curious to know whether opinions would have been different if it were the father proposing to take the daughter to Miami for 2 years.

I can't really see the situation arising, in that if the father has the child living with them, there would probably be much stronger reasons why the mother didn't, ie she would have weaker reasons to object in any case whatever the decisions made by the father.

loftus

Shared care, though still in a minority, is more common now than ever. The assumption here , and I have made it too, is that the daughter lives with the mother most of the time although the OP hasn't said that.
But then we all make assumptions in threads like these, such as the move is certain to be a wonderful experience for the girl. If it happens I really hope it is but there are no such certainties in life.

Glamazon

Tinuel wrote: »

Hi, yes I live within 10 mins of her school, I am living in a 2 bedroom flat, and I only just moved out (2 months ago). I rented a place in the same area as they live to make sure I see her everyday. In regards to afterschool, I need to contact her school and find out. I know our local council does sports summer camps from 8 till 6pm. I am strongly considering the possibility of asking my daughter what she prefers. That will also contribute to my decision.

I think daughter does live with Mum.

I just wanted to say that I do think your daughter should be involved in the decision, I'm not saying she should make the decision but it's her life that's been changed. She should have the opportunity to know what is going on and should know that what ever happens if she's not happy and wants to do the opposite to what is decided then she can move.
I.e. if the decision is made that she goes to the US but absolutely hates it, she can come back, or if stays and isn't happy then she go to US later on.
She obviously can't chop and change her mind but I think including her in the decision making process will help things immensly!

Good luck OP and let us know how u get on

galvanizersbaby

whitewing wrote: »

I can't really see the situation arising, in that if the father has the child living with them, there would probably be much stronger reasons why the mother didn't, ie she would have weaker reasons to object in any case whatever the decisions made by the father.

I was thinking along the lines of shared care (I have this arrangement with my ex husband for my children) - this works because we live within reasonable distance of each other and discuss everything pertaining to the children beforehand - we have not been in a situation as yet where we have been unable to agree re the children.

Does the OP have weaker reasons to object to the move if his daughter is not currently living with him - I'm not sure

whitewing

No, the OP (as father) doesn't have weaker reasons to object.

In the situation where the child was already living with the father for the majority of the time, then there would usually be reasons why the child wasn't living with the mother, other than that mum and dad split up. So it is a different situation.

galvanizersbaby

Glamazon wrote: »

I think daughter does live with Mum.

I just wanted to say that I do think your daughter should be involved in the decision, I'm not saying she should make the decision but it's her life that's been changed. She should have the opportunity to know what is going on and should know that what ever happens if she's not happy and wants to do the opposite to what is decided then she can move.
I.e. if the decision is made that she goes to the US but absolutely hates it, she can come back, or if stays and isn't happy then she go to US later on.
She obviously can't chop and change her mind but I think including her in the decision making process will help things immensly!

Good luck OP and let us know how u get on

I have to say I have a child of almost 7 and I can't imagine placing this upon him.
I agree with Errata that a child of this age would be unlikely to have the understanding or experience to cope.

Though children aren't the same and cope differently my gut feeling is that it would be wrong to involve a 7 year old child in this type of adult decision.