Inappropriate comments from teaching assistant

hayley11

I don't think you're making a mountain out of a molehill. It's totally inappropriate for her to say things like that and in this day and age, she should know that, even if she doesn't mean it nastily, she should still know it's not right. Especially as she's been told about saying something similar in the past!

Also if other children heard her making comments like that, they might think it's acceptable for them to make comments about your childs skin colour.

Pee

The idea of telling a child that his skin might go white in the sun, presumably she will also be giving the child and the classmates more of this dubious factual information...

MrsTinks

I doubt she only mixes your son and the other mixed race child up and not the other 28 or however many there are - I suspect the comment was more meant like "I mix YOU TWO up because you are both similar in appearance" - same as she might mix up the 10 blond blue eyed girls who have hair the same length etc I don't think it was offencive to refer to your child as brown, nor to explain why she mixes the two similar looking children up from time to time.
And why the issue with "brown"? I really don't get that?
I spent a lovely morning with a white mum and her mixed race child at a baby group today and my lordy that little girl is just so darned beautiful! And she is BROWN - there is no other way to explain it and to me calling her "mixed race" is actually quite negative compared to referring to her for example as "a gorgeous light chocolate brown" - I swear I could have eaten her up she was that gorgeous!
I've spent time in a school where I was in the minority as a white person (20% whites) and it was terrifying to be bullied by the other kids - I've spent years fighting the prejudice I had beaten into me by my 3 months in that school and I like to think I am not racist or judgemental based on skin colour or ethnic origin - after all I'm probably more foreign than most darker skinned people in this country are - I wasn't born here and don't hold a UK passport after all
As for the second incident... Firstly I would really establish what exactly was said - it could easily be something that was misunderstood by your son - he's 7 - not 17 and misunderstandings do happen - especially if you're already looking for them...
If it WAS an inappropriately made bad joke then by all means take it further, but instead of getting upset and making a deal out of it in your sons eyes (which is only going to be negative for him!) then politely and calmly request a meeting at the school and explain what your son has told you and then ask for their side of the story. THEN decide on what if anything needs to be done

busiscoming2

I would be far more insulted by the first comment made because it is infering that 'all dark skinned people' look the same. I think the subsequent comment was probably made in a jokey way, especially as these are small children. I am white and certainly would not be put out or offended if I was referred to or called 'the white skinned one' if in a minority. The only thing I can think as to what the TA meant first time is that in my experience darker skinned people do seem to have dark hair and brown eyes (correct me if I'm wrong please) and so white people do have a more varied array of colours.
I do not mean to cause offence to anyone, I know we all have to be so PC these days.

Idiophreak

tbh I just don't understand why anyone would say what she's supposed to have said...I just can't see someone, much less a TA, going "wear sunscreen or you'll turn white!" just seems too bizarre. That being the case, I'd bet on some kinda misunderstanding.

I'd also echo the comments made by BGM above - even if it was a mildly racist/inappropriate remark, you talking about taking them out of school etc is entirely disproportionate and certainly reads as though skin colour is a sensitive issue for you.

PolishBigSpender

pinkshoes wrote: »

I remember a scenario on TV in a studio, where they staged a bag snatching, where a black man ran in, snatched someone's bag, then ran out. They asked all the people in the room individually to give a description of the thief. All the black people in the room could describe the thief in incredible detail, yet all the white people could manage is "er... black"!

"White" people generally have a variety of hair/eye colours, therefore many "white" people find it much harder to distinguish between black people, whose "basic" features (hair, eye colour, skin tone) tend to be similar.

"Black" people on the other hand, who no doubt have family members of the same skin tone, hair colour, and eye tone, are much more talented at identifying people my other means.

This is no excuse for the teacher not remembering the kid's name, but it does sound to me she just got him confused, and picked a bad selection of words! It doesn't sound like it was intentionally about race. People generally just refer to people by something that makes them stand out. At work, I'm referred to as "the girl", as I'm the only one...

My thoughts exactly! In the college we had a group of Asian girls. All perfectly nice, but I could never remember their names. Just because they were alien to my ear they were really hard to remember. It 's easier to remember some Ann or Mary then a Chinese name you've never heard before. Nothing to do with being racist or anything like that. I suppose they had similar trouble with the European names.

SUESMITH_2

totally unacceptable andit would not be tolerated in the school i work in

Janepig

Quasar wrote: »

The thing I find worrying though, is that nowadays people should find the expression "brown skin" to be offensive. Or "black skin" for example. These are merely descriptive of one person's appearance, like short or long hair, eye colour etc.

In my place of work I have often been referred to as "the foreigner" by people who do not know my name, because I DO have a clear foreign accent. It is a fact. It doesn't diminish me as a person and therefore I'm not offended by being referred to in that way.

Now, if the description were given in an offensive context then I would find it objectionable, but when given as a mere matter of fact, I don't see it as a problem.

I agree Q - quite afew years ago we used to have a woman working with us from Shelter one day a week to help our offenders with housing, and she was black, one of only two black people I've worked with, and the only one there at the time. Someone came in one day looking for her and said "which one is ****?" and the most totally obvious thing to say would have been "oh she's the black lady over there", but we were all too terrified to say it so we were like "err, she's got dark hair, wearing a skirt, etc.....".

As for the second "incident", I don't know what that's all about, and if it did occur then it is at least very stupid on the LSA's part, but OP, for you to say that your seven year old has "never lied" is a bit much - ALL children lie, it's part of their development and it's perfectly normal, when they get to an age for instance when they realise if they've done wrong and lie their way out of it not to have a row. I'm not saying he's lying about this but I'd be fairly sure he has lied on at least one occasion in his seven years :rolleyes:.

Personally it would have to take something major for me to kick up a fuss with the school and "demand" that teachers are sent on extra training (so less money available for the school to spend on the children) and maybe earning a reputation as a bit of a pest. But if you think that this situation is that "something major" then go for it.

Jxx

li'l_p

When I was in secondary school (mid-Nineties) a PE teacher said to me that I was too 'short' to be in the rounders team. This was really upsetting for me, as I constantly suffered enough abuse from other kids about my height since starting at secondary school, without her adding her tuppence worth. That said, this was the same school that said 'bullying does not exist' when I constantly reported it - and said the same thing a few years ago when a boy of 14 committed suicide after being bullied at the same school...

Political correctness or not, everybody is different and these differences need to be encouraged and celebrated. Such flippant comments from a teacher or teaching assistant should not be tolerated. No wonder bullying is rife in schools if teachers are just as guilty of making such remarks. Teachers and TA's should be promoting diversity amongst children, not creating hatred and divisions amongst kids in an already competitive environment.

kjmtidea

Okay a few things... I never said there was an issue with 'brown' what annoyed me was her using that as an excuse. I am well aware that children lie but I also know when my eldest is telling the truth, he doesn't just make stuff up like this.

I have spoken to the head teacher, the t.a. has admitted that she said it, apparently a child she worked with a long time ago who was black, got sun burnt and his skin went all white so she thought she would share that story with my son.

I don't want to take my children out of school but I don't want them being around ridiculous comments like that, I know at some point they will come across this but I wasn't expecting it at 7 years old. I have no problem with people calling my children black or mixed race or dual heritage, I just don't see the need for this t.a. to be making it an issue, as far as I am aware no other teacher has made any comments.