Inappropriate comments from teaching assistant

Bettyboop

I have skimmed through this thread but I have to agree I don't think the TA was being racist or nasty. I used to volunteer at a holiday club and once saw a mixed race child with white patches on his arms... I really didn't know what this was but mum has said he was sunburnt! The TA could have tried to rephrase it differently and not chosen the direct approach.

I don't think it's necessary to take this any further. You could have a quiet word with her and ask her to think before she speaks to him. It's no different saying to a white child if you don't put sunblock on you are going to look like a beetroot....

poet123

I agree, if the OP is convinced that there was no malice or racial slur intended then what is the problem?

People are different, and their differences ought to be celebrated, not be pushed under the carpet and never mentioned.

Jokes ought to be universal, not confined to race.

Why are many people always looking for an issue, for confrontation, for some hidden agenda?. Even if there is not one there, if you dig deep enough you will find something. It saddens me,because it brings into schools the element of wariness, of putting a PC atmosphere before all else, and it costs. It costs each and every child the relaxed schooldays I remember, the banter and camaraderie are lessened, and it takes away spontaneity.

By all means if there is a real racial issue, go in all guns blazing, there is no place for it in todays multicultural society, but stop and think first, is it racial or is it just school banter that you are reading too much into.

I mentinoned this thread to two friends last night, one from India, one originally from Uganda, and both said, the second comment was clearly a joke, and the first was similar to someone saying they get two samll boys mixed up ,or two blonde girls, or two gingerheaded boys,nothing more nothing less. They thought it was sad that such comments were blown out of all proportion, when real racism is alive and well elsewhere.

Bettyboop

I find it funny that what has happened here is clearly not racism but what goes on in South Africa for example is. I wonder if you would like the TA to loose her job over this? The Headteacher has obviously listened to you if he is already dealing with it but I wonder how much time this is wasting. I don't want to put it across that way but it also feels as though you have more of an issue with the remarks made about skin colour and not anyone else.

What is this world coming too? In some schools I hear they don't even sing Baa Baa black sheep in case it offends someone...absolutely crazy so instead this very old nursery rhyme has been adapted to Baa Baa Rainbow sheep!

marcowil

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

My thoughts exactly! In the college we had a group of Asian girls. All perfectly nice, but I could never remember their names. Just because they were alien to my ear they were really hard to remember. It 's easier to remember some Ann or Mary then a Chinese name you've never heard before. Nothing to do with being racist or anything like that. I suppose they had similar trouble with the European names.

Personally I think, no matter what the persons name, if you want to, you will remember it.

Some time ago a new person was appointed in the office next to the one i work in. She was, iirc, of Malaysian descent and had an unusal but easy to remember (and say) first name. Before she actually started the rest of the office had a discussion querying if it would be ok to call her by an "english" name instead. When i pointed out how offensive this sounded they looked at me as if i was mad! They simply couldnt understand that the person was entitled to be addressed by her given name!

I also overheard a conversation recently between two members of staff (one new). The new guy was asked if he was from Egypt because his name is the same as that of someone who comes from Egypt!! Some people really dont think before opening their mouths

SugarSpun

I don't think the TA meant either comment as a racial slur, but both are ill-advised and betray her ignorance. I imagine she isn't campaigning for the BNP in her spare time, but that doesn't mean her casual, accidental racism should be ignored. Telling someone who doesn't do it on purpose to stop is only a small step, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be taken because there are more overtly racist people in the world.

I agree that the people who mean well but who go too far in the direction of caution are not doing anyone any favours. Coffee without milk is black. So is the sort of board on which you write with chalk. Words like "postperson" and "chairperson" failed to catch on; so should similar replacements for words that have some vaguely tenuous connection to race. That doesn't make this TA's comments acceptable, especially considering that she's been told once already to modulate the stupidity. It's that simple.

mrcow

kjmtidea wrote: »

I can't calm down because i'm not worked up

So did someone else write this on your behalf?

kjmtidea wrote: »

Am I over reacting? I am really upset about this, I just keeping thinking how dare she make my son question his skin colour?

I really don't want to take my children out of school but at the moment I don't really want them to be there. Should we take this higher if the head teacher says she can't do anything again?

Bettyboop

mrcow wrote: »

So did someone else write this on your behalf?

:rotfl: How funny

mrcow

Bettyboop wrote: »

:rotfl: How funny

Honestly I'm not trying to be funny, but the OP is saying on one hand that they are not wound up, but their actions don't really relay that feeling.

Complaining to the head teacher about a teachers actions and then asking whether on not they can take it further (to the governors or LA) is serious stuff. It's a complete and utter over reaction given the situation.

Even implying that a possible solution could be to remove the child from school....seriously?.......if that isn't chucking toys, then I don't know what is.

Bettyboop

mrcow wrote: »

Honestly I'm not trying to be funny, but the OP is saying on one hand that they are not wound up, but their actions don't really relay that feeling.

Complaining to the head teacher about a teachers actions and then asking whether on not they can take it further (to the governors or LA) is serious stuff. It's a complete and utter over reaction given the situation.

Even implying that a possible solution could be to remove the child from school....seriously?.......if that isn't chucking toys, then I don't know what is.

I wasn't saying you were trying to be funny. I had to laugh at your reply... that's all

madnessandmayhem

Hi,
I have to say i agree that the TA could have chosen her words a bit better-'if you don't wear suncream you will get sunburn' sort of thing ...........but do you not ever make any reference to someone going brown after being in the sun? (or even red in my case lol) Or that you have never muddled up 2 similar looking people before-both say same colour hair, eyes etc? Your son was probably less affected by her comments than you realise-you said that it must have bothered him cos he told you, but then later on you said you had to drag it out of him-perhaps he didn't want to say because he knew how you were likely to react? Children don't usually make an issue out of things like racial differences etc- i remeber when my sister was about 6, she came home from school raving about a new girl in her class-she had THE BEST lunchbox, the coolest coat and the prettiest hair clip, and liked to play the same games and she was the bestest friend in the whole wide world!.....not once did she mention that her new friend was black, becasue it wasn't an issue. Are you not teaching you son to be bothered by peoples ignorant, flippant remarks, because by storming off and reacting like this every time someone says something that is politically incorrect, you are making an issue out of it? I really hope the TA realises the effect her words have had on you and your family, and that she learns to be a little more 'sensitive' and choses her words a bit more carefully in future. I hope you get the outcome that you are after from the school xx