Inappropriate comments from teaching assistant

brownbabygirl

Janepig wrote: »

I agree Q - quite afew years ago we used to have a woman working with us from Shelter one day a week to help our offenders with housing, and she was black, one of only two black people I've worked with, and the only one there at the time. Someone came in one day looking for her and said "which one is ****?" and the most totally obvious thing to say would have been "oh she's the black lady over there", but we were all too terrified to say it so we were like "err, she's got dark hair, wearing a skirt, etc.....".

:eek::eek::eek: how ridiculous. Strange that these days it is actually deemed offensive to be called black or brown. I am the darkest shade of brown and I LOVE it:T

jellyhead

kjmtidea wrote: »

I have spoken to the head teacher, the t.a. has admitted that she said it, apparently a child she worked with a long time ago who was black, got sun burnt and his skin went all white so she thought she would share that story with my son.

I don't want to take my children out of school but I don't want them being around ridiculous comments like that

Did it come up in a discussion about sun cream? What's school policy, do the kids have to wear it? Maybe your boy said he doesn't have to wear sun cream and she pointed out that it's important? They might have been talking about somebody's sunburn in passing - when I helped in school all sorts of daft conversations occured in lessons with 7 year olds It may not have been said unkindly, or 'you'll be interested in this seeing as you're black' out of the blue.

I don't know anything about black skin - does it go white when damaged? I've noticed a girl at nursery has a white patch on her face this week after hurting her face, I assume the skin will be black once it's fully healed?

Janepig

brownbabygirl wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek: how ridiculous. Strange that these days it is actually deemed offensive to be called black or brown. I am the darkest shade of brown and I LOVE it:T

Honestly, it's so stupid isn't it. But where I work people take offence by proxy and it's like treading on eggshells. I've been working with a colleague in Court this week who is Indian, and when I first worked with her, one of the first reports I had to pass to her to do was someone who was convicted of a racially aggravated public order offence (calling someone an f'ing P***, or something like that) and as much as I wanted her to do it because I wanted this fella's arris to go "boo" when he saw an Indian woman coming to do a report on him for being racially abusive to someone (it's my twisted streak coming out!), I wasn't sure how she'd feel about it, but I was also worried whether she'd be offended by my wondering if she would be offended (as you can see, I think about these things too much :rotfl:). Anyway, she's fine with it and we have a good laugh together, but gawd help you if someone overhears you and decides to take offence on their behalf!!.

Jxx

Quasar

Janepig wrote: »

Honestly, it's so stupid isn't it. But where I work people take offence by proxy and it's like treading on eggshells. I've been working with a colleague in Court this week who is Indian, and when I first worked with her, one of the first reports I had to pass to her to do was someone who was convicted of a racially aggravated public order offence (calling someone an f'ing P***, or something like that) and as much as I wanted her to do it because I wanted this fella's arris to go "boo" when he saw an Indian woman coming to do a report on him for being racially abusive to someone (it's my twisted streak coming out!), I wasn't sure how she'd feel about it, but I was also worried whether she'd be offended by my wondering if she would be offended (as you can see, I think about these things too much :rotfl:). Anyway, she's fine with it and we have a good laugh together, but gawd help you if someone overhears you and decides to take offence on their behalf!!.

Jxx

As I've said elsewhere and more than once, most of these offence-takers are not the ones directly at the receiving end of the perceived racial affront. I still get the occasional well-meaning person apologising when asking me where my accent is from as if the mere asking could be construed as an insult.

Most officials laying down silly rules such as not displaying the flag for fear of offending, not using the word black when asking for coffee (I'm not sure I can believe that one), are NOT themselves from ethnic minorities, but are instead white middle-class busy bodies who want to look oh so inclusive, when in fact they are being just patroinising.

Black people, Muslims, Orientals, Asians, Martians and Jupiterians are well able to say what offends them, and have the intelligence to tell the difference between description and insult.

Having said that, the OP is of course right in trying to find out what the situation is exactly, and I hope it turns out to be merely a matter of harmless comment which can be put in the past and the children can forget.

poet123

Quasar wrote: »

As I've said elsewhere and more than once, most of these offence-takers are not the ones directly at the receiving end of the perceived racial affront. I still get the occasional well-meaning person apologising when asking me where my accent is from as if the mere asking could be construed as an insult.

Most officials laying down silly rules such as not displaying the flag for fear of offending, not using the word black when asking for coffee (I'm not sure I can believe that one), are NOT themselves from ethnic minorities, but are instead white middle-class busy bodies who want to look oh so inclusive, when in fact they are being just patroinising.

Black people, Muslims, Orientals, Asians, Martians and Jupiterians are well able to say what offends them, and have the intelligence to tell the difference between description and insult.

Having said that, the OP is of course right in trying to find out what the situation is exactly, and I hope it turns out to be merely a matter of harmless comment which can be put in the past and the children can forget.

Well said, I have a couple of friends who are Muslim, and they just laugh and roll their eyes when the latest bit of idiocy hits the headlines. They do what they have to do and expect us to do the same.

Pssst

I think perhaps the TA is a bit old school and maybe doesnt realise the implications of what she is saying. She wont be switched on to all this inclusion and diversity stuff.

My view is that if you have to teach people about I & D then it seems almost like you assume that the starting point is that at the very least,they might be racist and therefore they need training.

I would never accept any form of I & D training. Everyone is the same to me.

Stephb1986_2

Maybe if the TA explained what had happened properly there wouldn't be a situation like this instead of just saying "if you don't wear sun cream you will go white" He is a kid fgs!

I think that the brown comment was put out of political context and she should of used the other boy/girls name when saying I get you two mixed up because you look similar or something along them lines instead of saying your both brown how silly!

I do quite alot of doctors ironing which are non english mainly polish but to look at they look like they are english we treat them the same as any other customer their money is as good as anyones. But also on the other hand I think that some black people are racist against white people but get away with it as it is some white people that are racist against other religions, colour, nationality.

I think the TA should not be able to go into the classes that the OP's children are in because she obviously can't be trusted to behave in the correct manner.

Steph xx

mrcow

kjmtidea wrote: »

I don't want to take my children out of school but I don't want them being around ridiculous comments like that, I know at some point they will come across this but I wasn't expecting it at 7 years old. I have no problem with people calling my children black or mixed race or dual heritage, I just don't see the need for this t.a. to be making it an issue, as far as I am aware no other teacher has made any comments.

Welcome to the world.

People say daft things all the time. There is or was no malice behind what was said. To suggest that you'd consider pulling your kids out of school over this is a complete and utter over-reaction.

Calm yourself down and start being real. Your kid is seven - the same age as mine. People (including teachers) say stupid things all the time. It's part of human nature. No one is perfect.

Rather than concentrating your energies on seeing how far you can chuck your toys, you should be concentrating them on making sure that your kids understaad a stupid remark when they hear one and know how to react accordingly.

It's not the first time a teacher has said something daft - and it certainly won't be the last time!

pinkshoes

I find it a shame that people are so quick to react and get offended over things that really aren't significant.

If people could all be a little more tolerant, and stop thinking the worst all the time, then the world would be a much more chilled out place to live.

They were just innocent comments, they weren't meant in a nasty way, and they were meant for laughing at, not reacting to.

The sun cream comment is no different to telling a child that eating carrots will help you see in the dark, and eating the crusts on your sandwiches will make your hair curl, and father christmas exists, and the tooth fairy...

kjmtidea

I can't calm down because i'm not worked up and i'm definitely not chucking my toys. She shouldn't have said what she did, she has admitted. The head teacher is taking it further, so I will have to wait and see what happens.