Inappropriate comments from teaching assistant

gremlin

Hiya

To make a decision on what you want done I think you would be best to follow your instinct on whether this is plain bigotry or just plain ignorance. Is the assistant being offensive on purpose or just ignorant because she hasnt met many black/mixed race people before?

If you think its the prior then I would be harsh but if its ignorance (as suggested by her coment of not meeting many 'brown skinned' people:rolleyes:). Then tell the head that you demand the assistant has some training on diversity and sensitivity.

I do think that although you were offended by it, it may have been said in jest by someone who is out of their comfort zone by meeting people she percieves as 'different'.

It could have been part of conversation like 'kids wear sunscreeen so you dont burn but go nice and brown' 'but miss Im already brown so I dont need it ' Confused assistant 'ah well you have to wear it or you might go white' cue much hilarity (not really but you know what I mean:rolleyes:)

Remember there are still people who live very sheltered lives and Im sure I dont need to tell you that their ignorance can be offensive even when its not intended. Not that Im saying she wasnt wrong but it might just help if you consider that she wasnt being nasty to your child, just a bit stupid.

best of luck

pulliptears

Just to lighten this slightly, I'll tell you a story my MIL relayed to me years ago.

She worked as a Lunch Lady back in the 1970's and a new boy came to the primary school. He was at the time the only black child in the school and sadly got some bullying for it. One lunch time MIL sat next to him for a chat to try and cheer him up, he happily talked to her and she asked him where he had come from, wondering to herself which school he had been to before.

"Ohhh" says the little boy, "Im from a hot country". MIL asked him where that was, then had to hide her smiles as he replied "Rhyl".

Back on topic, I dont think you are making a mountain out of a molehill at all. Politically correct or not there are things you dont say to children.

Please update us OP with the Head's actions.

moneysaver12

I would go to the top, a teaching assistant should not be making comments like this to your son.

Claire3121

gremlin wrote: »

Hiya

To make a decision on what you want done I think you would be best to follow your instinct on whether this is plain bigotry or just plain ignorance. Is the assistant being offensive on purpose or just ignorant because she hasnt met many black/mixed race people before?

If you think its the prior then I would be harsh but if its ignorance (as suggested by her coment of not meeting many 'brown skinned' people:rolleyes:). Then tell the head that you demand the assistant has some training on diversity and sensitivity.

I do think that although you were offended by it, it may have been said in jest by someone who is out of their comfort zone by meeting people she percieves as 'different'.

It could have been part of conversation like 'kids wear sunscreeen so you dont burn but go nice and brown' 'but miss Im already brown so I dont need it ' Confused assistant 'ah well you have to wear it or you might go white' cue much hilarity (not really but you know what I mean:rolleyes:)

Remember there are still people who live very sheltered lives and Im sure I dont need to tell you that their ignorance can be offensive even when its not intended. Not that Im saying she wasnt wrong but it might just help if you consider that she wasnt being nasty to your child, just a bit stupid.

best of luck

I agree with this.

kjmtidea

Thank you all for the advice. I don't think the teaching assistant is saying it in a nasty way i think that she is just either stupid or clueless. When the first incident happened the head teacher did tell us that they had all just done some diversity training, I think I will suggest this t.a. does it again like some of you have suggested.
Thank you.

MrsAnnie

My children are mixed race aswell and the number of 'inappropriate' comments they get are staggerring (usually from children though, not adults)! Personally I think alot of it is just plain ignorance and if it wasn't skin colour then it would be something else. A teachers assistant would not even believe my youngest child when she told her where is was born and told her she was telling stories!

I doubt very much your child(ren) are making things up. But based on my dealing with our school, headmasters do take things very seriously, and tend to try and diffuse the matter quite swiftly.


I just do everything to instill confidence in my DDs so that they know they are beautiful children and that any comments to the contray are just from ignorant, unworldy, stupid and thoughtless people.

brownbabygirl

burnsguitarman wrote: »

Personally I think you're making a mountain out of a mole hill, It sounds as if YOU have a problem with skin colour and are passing it on to your children by making a fuss, I'm sure your'e children will suffer much worse than this during their childhood! Don't take this the wrong way but it is just my opinion. All children have adverse comments made about them even if its because they have red hair, black skin, thin, fat, small, tall, or anything else! Granted the TA should have known that it may cause offence in these polictically correct days.

totally agree.

athensgeorgia

Not that it should make a difference but how old is the T.A roughly? Just because most older people i know are very ignorant where race is concerned. Most of the time i hold my tongue because even though it does bother me i know its just ignorance.

I think you should do as suggested and ask the head to recommend the TA for more training. It could be she missed the training and doesn't realise what shes saying is considered offensive to some people.

The comment about 'turning white' has so obviously come from an ignorant person and just doesn't sound like something a 7 yr old would say tbh, it'd have to have been considerably well thought out from a child.

bulchy

burnsguitarman wrote: »

Personally I think you're making a mountain out of a mole hill, It sounds as if YOU have a problem with skin colour and are passing it on to your children by making a fuss, I'm sure your'e children will suffer much worse than this during their childhood! Don't take this the wrong way but it is just my opinion. All children have adverse comments made about them even if its because they have red hair, black skin, thin, fat, small, tall, or anything else! Granted the TA should have known that it may cause offence in these polictically correct days.

Yes the kids may well suffer much worse in there lives, but from teaching staff:eek: no way. My niece is mixed race and has had to suffer ignorant comments throughout school, but if it was to come from a member of teaching staff, then I'm sorry but I would be complaining myself never mind encouraging my sister to do it. Yes kids can be cruel, but theres no need for adults to make these remarks.
Sue

jellyhead

Is she a qualified teaching assistant, or just a parent helper? She might not have had much, or any, training and perhaps doesn't realise how remarks like this can affect a child.

I don't understand the first comment to be honest - is she saying that all brown skinned children look the same so she can't tell them apart? 2 children with brown skin in the same class seems like enough not to think of it as a 'rarity' anyhow.