am i being selfish

thatgirlsam

thanks everyone - i have just got home from work -
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i will not be making a big deal fo this , the last thing i want is to fall out, i value the relationship we have , thats probably why i feel a bit odd about the situation, im maybe a little hurt that my feelings haven't been considered - i am only human, not perfect
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-i have not had a child free week , i also have a 9 year old that has to go to school this week
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-i will tell them how i feel but in a nice way
-i am surprised by some of the responses in this thread , but thanks for replying - even you strange ones ... night x

The_Banker_5

robpw2 wrote: »

i agree with your wonderful post nenen the only thing i would say is that when someone asks am i being selfish people will tend to respond with yes or no and then their reasons if the op had written are the grandparents being selfish there would be thouse who call them selfish and those that would defend them
i dont like the word as their is automatically so many negative emotions bought about by it

i think thatgirlsam would have been better not asking if she was selfish or not but watever or not people thnik she should do in this situation

whataloadofrubbish i havenever herd anythingso silly inall mylife


Ohh sorry rob I'm starting to write like you now...........must be catching.;)

hotfuzzfan

You are the mother and have the final say on the arrangements, unless its an unforeseen delay, i think they should have stuck to the arrangements. Tell them you are grateful for giving your son a lovely holiday but you are not happy about the change of plans without your consent. You have to sort this out now or it will open it up for them to do it again.
No you are not being selfish, you are his mother, I know the ache a mother feels when separated from her children. Stand your ground, get the father on your side too.
Good luck

MrsAnnie

bandraoi wrote: »

I think if you're missing him that much, it's a little unhealthy. Even your activities when he's gone have been solely focused on him, decorating his room, anticipating his reaction. Your son, at 4 is growing up and beginning the very slow process of moving away from you. You need to work on the process of moving away from him too.

:eek::eek:

No wonder some children grow up without any parental guidance and support, if there are people out there who thinks at four years old and a parent and child should be 'moving away' from each other.

If a mother should not focus on her own child, who will?

Zazen999

bandraoi wrote: »

I think if you're missing him that much, it's a little unhealthy. Even your activities when he's gone have been solely focused on him, decorating his room, anticipating his reaction. Your son, at 4 is growing up and beginning the very slow process of moving away from you. You need to work on the process of moving away from him too.

Strewth!!!!

As a non-parent :rotfl: I find this shocking

She's not even spoken to the lad for a week!!!

She has no idea if he has enjoyed himself...I don't think it is at all selfish to want him back...

Crazy talk.

Nenen

robpw2 wrote: »

Nenen wrote: »

thatgirlsam I do not think you are being at all selfish... and to all the posters who say OP is selfish because her son is 'having a whale of a time' (or words to that effect) how do you know this? QUOTE]
i agree with your wonderful post nenen the only thing i would say is that when someone asks am i being selfish people will tend to respond with yes or no and then their reasons if the op had written are the grandparents being selfish there would be thouse who call them selfish and those that would defend them
i dont like the word as their is automatically so many negative emotions bought about by it

i think thatgirlsam would have been better not asking if she was selfish or not but watever or not people thnik she should do in this situation

Good point Rob - In retrospect (easy to be wise after the event) I agree and will try to remember that if I post for advice myself.

Minxy_Bella

I hope Sam has a lovely reunion with her little lad and ignores the nutters who'd send toddlers up chimneys!! :rolleyes:

onetomany

i would feel the same as the op i dont think shes selfish at all im having problems with my x at mo so i understand how she feels my 12 year old goes to his gp for 4 nites and crys when he gets home because he says he gets upset because he misses us, dont forget not all 4 year olds would tell there gp what they are feeling

sooz

Op - I don't think you are being selfish at all. If your ex is angry with his parents too for messing up his plans for father's day - (what state will the little boy be in on sunday, where ever he sleeps, he's not going to bed til midnight?) - he should be the one having a go at them. It's harder for you as their ex daughter in law.

TBH, I'd be fuming. If my 4 year old had gone so far away from me, not been allowed to speak to me or his dad, & I'd been told he was being brought back late, I'd have either gone to collect him myself, or called the police. But then my children's ex grandparents are mad, & I wouldn't put [attempted] abduction past them.

The_Banker_5

MrsAnnie wrote: »

:eek::eek:

No wonder some children grow up without any parental guidance and support, if there are people out there who thinks at four years old and a parent and child should be 'moving away' from each other.

If a mother should not focus on her own child, who will?

But she's not focusing on her child. She sent him away with the grandparents so she could have a weeks peace.:D

Call me old fashioned but my kids only ever went on holiday with me and my OH when they were little.;)