am i being selfish

OrkneyStar

bandraoi wrote: »

I think if you're missing him that much, it's a little unhealthy. Even your activities when he's gone have been solely focused on him, decorating his room, anticipating his reaction. Your son, at 4 is growing up and beginning the very slow process of moving away from you. You need to work on the process of moving away from him too.

She has also been working night shift for the last week, so I'd hardly say she has been sitting focusing on him all the time. Of course their lives will start to separate a little as the child gets older but for heavens sake, he is 4 years old, and she is his mother. Of course they will miss each other, even if they are also having fun, I don't understand why people are being so harsh! If only all mothers (and fathers) showed such love and concern for their offspring we'd have a lot less dysfunctional adults!

The_Banker_5

OrkneyStar wrote: »

I don't think OP wants things to revolve around her, she clearly loves her child and is not being selfish imho.
The grandparents made arrangements when they would take him, and when they would return him.
They are now changing that, fully aware that this it is Father's Day on Sunday, and perhaps trying to keep him until then ?
I would be annoyed, however would try not to let my son see it, and focus on the fact that he has had a good time.
Just because it is not the perfect reaction to be annoyed does not mean it is abnormal to react this way.
I hope you get things sorted out OP with as little friction as possible.

I honestly think the grandparents sound like lovely people.

However, I actually feel quite sorry for them that they have a daughter in law who chooses to start a thread about them on a busy internet forum which questions their behaviour.

Can I ask how you would feel if you knew your daughter in law or a relation of yours had started a thread like this about you?

But I dont think she's thinking about her grandparents feelings to be honest. Only her own.

I wonder if she shows them this thread.;)

thatgirlsam

The_Banker wrote: »

I honestly think the grandparents sound like lovely people.

However, I actually feel quite sorry for them that they have a daughter in law who chooses to start a thread about them on a busy internet forum which questions their behaviour.

Can I ask how you would feel if you knew your daughter in law or a relation of yours had started a thread like this about you?

But I dont think she's thinking about her grandparents feelings to be honest. Only her own.

I wonder if she shows them this thread.;)

--
i would have no problem with that -

-and they are lovely people , i have said i get on with them very well-

-i think you should have a break from being such a banker today

The_Banker_5

thatgirlsam wrote: »

--
i would have no problem with that -

-and they are lovely people , i have said i get on with them very well-

-i think you should have a break from being such a banker today

I think you should take a break from the internet and pay your son some attention.;)

Trolling doesnt become you.;)

thatgirlsam

The_Banker wrote: »

I think you should take a break from the internet and pay your son some attention.;)

Trolling doesnt become you.;)

-my son isn't here
--
remember~?? :rotfl:

aliasojo

mumps wrote: »

I think it depends on the child's relationship with grandparents and you have to make a judgement. The OP obviously felt her son would enjoy the holiday or she wouldn't have let him go.

Agree.

There's been quite a lot of comments based on the poster's 'judgement' of the Grandparents and the situation which is really quite surprising considering none of us are there and know what the actual situation is.

I asked earlier what type of people the Grandparents were, and the OP said they were generally very nice and considerate. Given that, I fail to see how wanting to come back a little later than originally planned could be construed as anything other than them all having a good time and wanting to squeeze every last bit out of it. I'm sure we've all had holidays where we dont want to come home. It's a once a year situation, it's not like it's every weekend.

I honestly dont believe for a minute they thought this would be a problem. I dont think they sat there thinking 'it's Father's Day tomorrow' or 'Sam will be missing him' ......'oh well, never mind we'll do what we want anyway'. :rolleyes: I think it was a simple, 'we're having fun, it would be nice to go back a bit later. So imo, there worst you could accuse them of is being a little naive thinking that other people would be ok with that.

Calling them 'controlling' or guessing the reason for the difficulty in phone contact for example isn't fair (imo). I think a simple situation has blown up in a ridiculous way on this thread, simply because of assumption.

It's obvious the OP loves and misses her son very much. I just hope this isn't blown up so much that it causes future problems. Grandparents are important and no-one is perfect, we all need to rub along together and accept there will be times that things happen that aren't exactly what we'd like, but aren't the end of the world too.

Anyway, I hope the little lad loves his bedroom. He's a lucky boy having a holiday and a new room all supplied by people who ALL clearly love him very much. I know a little girl whose Grandparents wont look the side she's on and her Mum would happily pay them to take an interest in her. Keep some perspective OP, a few hours isn't worth fretting over when all's said and done.

Zazen999

Talk about making an argument out of now't - she just wanted to know if she was being selfish wanting her son back, after an arrangement has been made.

What's not to understand?

The_Banker_5

Zazen999 wrote: »

Talk about making an argument out of now't - she just wanted to know if she was being selfish wanting her son back, after an arrangement has been made.

What's not to understand?

Exactly, And I told her she was selfish.;)

Whats not to understand?

Minxy_Bella

The_Banker wrote: »

Exactly, And I told her she was selfish.;)

Whats not to understand?

Your attitude, actually!

Zazen999

Minxy_Bella wrote: »

Your attitude, actually!

Aw, he's just a little bored - leave him be. Not much going on in the Banking world these days is there? :rotfl: