Could he find me?

NAR

1. Didn't you contact the CSA some years ago and they were unable to trace ex. There's proof of separation.

2. You should be able to get legal aid for your divorce solicitor.

Taye

NAR wrote: »

1. Didn't you contact the CSA some years ago and they were unable to trace ex. There's proof of separation.

2. You should be able to get legal aid for your divorce solicitor.

Yesh i chased CSA when he first left me, when i got pregant with my second son. It was on and off for a while eventually i just gave up chasing because no-one could find him. Back in the days when i thought the fact that he'd walked out ment he was actually going to leave me alone.

I'm going to be honest here i have no idea how solicitor's work, surely i won't get legal aid if my new partner has money? Unless of couse i move out of his which im just not in a financial position to do right now.

barnaby-bear

Taye wrote: »

Yesh i chased CSA when he first left me, when i got pregant with my second son. It was on and off for a while eventually i just gave up chasing because no-one could find him. Back in the days when i thought the fact that he'd walked out ment he was actually going to leave me alone.

I'm going to be honest here i have no idea how solicitor's work, surely i won't get legal aid if my new partner has money? Unless of couse i move out of his which im just not in a financial position to do right now.

Organisations such as Womens aid and Refuge have experience with the messiest of scenarios and experience in referring and guiding people through the processes.
This thread details one woman's experience - she didn't use a lot of their services but it will give you an idea of what they can do.
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/...rtgirl&page=14
Presumably your bank statements and bills show whose been paying for everything - make sure those are safe.
It isn't 1815 - courts have no interest in forcing couples to stay together or chaining wives to their husbands.

littlemissmoney

I don't want to scare you, but couldn't he find out your new address by just following you home from work or following the kids from school?

Taye

littlemissmoney wrote: »

I don't want to scare you, but couldn't he find out your new address by just following you home from work or following the kids from school?

I've taken the last 2 days off work since moving out of the house while i get things sorted, not sure what im going to do about that long term.

im likely going to be made redunant soon anyways i had at best till the end of the year, my Bf thinks i should just quit and look for a new job or go to collage in september im not so sure it makes me even more dependent on him than i am already. suggestions??

As for the kids school i'm looking at moving the kids i've spent some time ringing around today but it's really late in the year to be making these changes. I'm hoping to have the kids ride it out till the end of term (they break up in july for summer anyway) and hopefully start somewhere new in september, i wasn't wonderfully happy with thier school anyway so hopefully making a change will be a positive thing for them. Im not sure dad will even remember where the school is to be fair he never paid any interest in those things so really im just crossing my fingers till the end of term.

Errata

im likely going to be made redunant soon anyways i had at best till the end of the year, my Bf thinks i should just quit and look for a new job or go to collage in september im not so sure it makes me even more dependent on him than i am already. suggestions??

What do you want to do? If doing what your BF has suggested, will it make you more financially dependant on him and would you hate that or not mind?

Izzy.

Errata wrote: »

What do you want to do? If doing what your BF has suggested, will it make you more financially dependant on him and would you hate that or not mind?

I second that. Taye hun, you got to do what you want to do cos you dont want to jump out of the frying pan into the fire. Youve only known the new bf for 7 weeks. You got to be independent for a time and not be answrable or beholden to any man unless you want to. Please luv speak to Refuge.

Taye

im sure refuge are great.

but i really don't want to get involved with them, i know you will probabally think im being stupid but i sort of feel like if i get them involved it's because i failed to be strong enough to sort it out myself.

I just don't think i want to sit and discuss all my history with a stranger, don't get me wrong im sure they have heard worse, but it's personal to me and i really can't face discussing it over and over with a bunch of strangers.

littlemissmoney

Hi Taye

You don't have to tell them about your past. But they will be able to advise properly on how to make sure your ex doesn't find out your new address and how to sort out the house and debts. They are the experts in these things because they deal with them all the time. It's your future they can help with.

Money_maker

littlemissmoney wrote: »

I don't want to scare you, but couldn't he find out your new address by just following you home from work or following the kids from school?

Just what I was thinking. Whats the betting that SIL knows which school they attend?