Could he find me?

terryw

myrnahaz wrote: »

If the house etc are in joint names then you're only liable for half the debt -.

NO. You are likely to be jointly and severally responsible for the debts and the creditors will enforce this against the one who is easiest to locate.

terryw

RAS

Taye

Please see a solicitor as you can legally divorce without his consent.

You need to ensure that the financial settlement involves no further connection - so either the house goes to you in toto or it is sold off and he picks up the tab for the shortfall, in lieu of maintenance.

You can do the basic divorce yourself BUT you may need the solicitor to do a search to find him and serve the papers and a solicitor to help with the financial settlement.

Expect him to insist on access to the kids because he will know that will wind you up. if he has a history of violence and you have received threats from his sister, agree but insist it is at a contact centre. He will soon get bored and dissappear again.

Also please do talk to the domestic violence unit at your local police station. Given the recent threats, you have the right to start raising concern.

I agree that the new relationship is too new for you to disappear with a bloke and your kids. That is not the way forward; you could get into an even worse situation. Ask the bloke to take it gently whilst you get the divorce sorted out. If he really cares, he will support you.

rach29

Just wanted to say great advice from RAS :T

Taye

terryw wrote: »

NO. You are likely to be jointly and severally responsible for the debts and the creditors will enforce this against the one who is easiest to locate.

terryw

This has certainly been my experience to date.

Taye

RAS wrote: »

Taye

Please see a solicitor as you can legally divorce without his consent.

You need to ensure that the financial settlement involves no further connection - so either the house goes to you in toto or it is sold off and he picks up the tab for the shortfall, in lieu of maintenance.

You can do the basic divorce yourself BUT you may need the solicitor to do a search to find him and serve the papers and a solicitor to help with the financial settlement.

Expect him to insist on access to the kids because he will know that will wind you up. if he has a history of violence and you have received threats from his sister, agree but insist it is at a contact centre. He will soon get bored and dissappear again.

Also please do talk to the domestic violence unit at your local police station. Given the recent threats, you have the right to start raising concern.

I agree that the new relationship is too new for you to disappear with a bloke and your kids. That is not the way forward; you could get into an even worse situation. Ask the bloke to take it gently whilst you get the divorce sorted out. If he really cares, he will support you.

When i say disappear i don't mean off the face of the planet haha he isn't talking about upping stick's and running off into the sunset together.. just that leave the house etc and move where my ex can't find me.

I do expect him to insist on access to the kids, just as a way of finding me more than anything, though i'd be suprised if he can even remeber my youngest sons name, having always insisted on calling him "it".

There is no way on the planet he's going to take responsibilty for his share of the debts, it just won't happen.

He's avoided working to get out of being traced for maintence and although i can imagine that he'd have to stump up cash for maintence in order to get access to the kids. I think he might play the "i have nothing to give card" based on the fact that as far as im aware he's not even claiming benifit's, I wouldn't put it past him to play along as a temporary measure just to try and find me, disappearing again as soon as he did.

Im not entirely sure how all that is going to work as far as CSA is concerned? he's blatently hidden for 7 years in order to avoid payment even they must realise that, men who want to pay don't become untraceable. Though i admit i haven't chased it for several years haven't given up on trying to get cash out of him long ago but i figure that must sit in my favor? tbh though i really don't want his money anymore.

I have already spoken to the police concerning this but they are abit limited as to what they can do to help at this point, basically they said i had to wait till something happened, which i think is abit late, don't get me wrong they seemed to take it seriously but they explained they couldn't really follow me around either.

Oh and to top thing's off lovely i went to the house this morning and it looks like my sister in law has been in and helped herself to anything she deem's i don't need anymore. Charming! :mad: So i have to decide what im going to do about that.

HariboJunkie

Taye wrote: »

So i have to decide what im going to do about that.

Phone the police. If she has taken things from your house without asking then she can be charged with theft.

NAR

Get the locks changed asap as well. Your sister-in-law has no right of access. :mad:

Taye

It's stupid really she took my washing powder, all my shampoo and the curtains out of the bedroom as well as other minor things including 2 tomato plants !!!!! ... nothing life threatening but still ruddy annoying.

barnaby-bear

HariboJunkie wrote: »

Phone the police. If she has taken things from your house without asking then she can be charged with theft.

Errr POLICE! Theft.... jeez this is so out of order..... get a new lock barrel... that's really creepy has she also taken your post/bank details.....

barnaby-bear

Taye wrote: »

This has certainly been my experience to date.

There's also the join house asset involved though.