Am I too controlling over money?

vandanfc

Hi J

Don't know what to say - will he ever grow up ??

How have the girls taken this episode, have they said much ?

Hugs to all.

GSXRCarlos

vandanfc wrote: »

Hi J

Don't know what to say - will he ever grow up ??

How have the girls taken this episode, have they said much ?

Hugs to all.

Hey J,

Like others have said before, you're no longer responsible for him, but you still have a responsibility to the kids and their welfare.

He needs to be told that he cannot look after the girls if he's in too much of a state, and falling asleep while they're in his care is unnacceptable.

It shouldn't be up to the girls to ring you.

Stupid question, what happened when he realised the girls were gone? or was he awake when you picked them up?

ninky_2

falling asleep through inebriation is not acceptable when you are in charge of minors.

tell him that if he can't stop drinking for himself he needs to do it for the sake of the children.

its sounds like he expects them to parent him at the moment.

poor girls.

julliff

Hi all,

thanks for your replies.

I was really cross last weekend, but not so surprised. Also not surprised that girls have not asked about going up to his place this week (nor, as far as I know has he invited them up). Sad, that X does not seem to have it in him to try to build a solid relationship with the girls. But, the reality is different to how I would like it to be (just like my marriage), and I will have to accept that.

See, I am learning (albeit slowly), that I can't fix everything!

Carlos, X did wake up as we left - was just groggy, and hugged the girls goodbye.

He will never change - he ordered some DVDs for DD2 in Jan, and they did not show up. Anyway, last Monday a card came through the door saying there was a package at the sorting office addressed to X, which was too big fort he letterbox. DD2 rang X (assuming it was DVDs at last), who said - can you ask your Mumtopick it up, as it is too hard for me to get there! (His flat is on a bus route ). I work full time, and sorting office shuts at 2.30, but obviously that is of little consequence, as I could drive over in my lunch hour, according to him.

Anyway, in the end my Mum went, because we thought it was for DD2, but it was just sone stuff for him! He then asked DD1 to drop it off over the road, as MOR was visiting his X, and would bring it up to him. How may people can he possibly get to run around for him???? It would be funny if it was not so annoying.

Next time, I will just say no, I am too busy working to provide for my children to run errands, and he could walk as he has ALL DAY!

Take care, and thank you all so much, I would not be where I am now if it weren't for the good people here. :T:T:T

InaPickle

Hi Juliff,

Crumbs, I would be annoyed as well, running around like that! :eek: Definitely say no next time (and for your mum as well)!


You sound much perkier: I'm glad. I guess things are getting better slowly.

Even though he's not there yet, maybe X will get a LBM of his own with regards to his daughters, when it become apparent that they aren't too keen on visiting him. It might take a while for it to sink in, though.

Best of luck and keep letting us know how things are going. x

vandanfc

Hi J

Keep strong, you have come such a long way, so keep at it. It will take time to relearn not to do things for him, as you have spent such a long time doing just that. You will get there and if x gets a relationship sorted out with his daughters, so much the better, but if he cannot be bothered, it is his loss. You need not worry about his losses anymore, so try not too. Concentrate of the 3 of you and a solid strong future to build together.

Primrose

Gosh Julliff - sounds as if his previous slave (you !!) must have nearly died of exhaustion. No doubt he will soon discover that the slave union is about to call its members out on strike!

Hope the atmosphere at home is settling down now.

Zazen999

Juliff; I'd just be checking that he hasn't bought anything on your credit cards; surely anything bought on t'internet would have his new address on file?

Yes, I'm suspicious but I'd still check.

MrsAnnie

Zazen999 wrote: »

Juliff; I'd just be checking that he hasn't bought anything on your credit cards; surely anything bought on t'internet would have his new address on file?

Yes, I'm suspicious but I'd still check.

I was wondering this too (unless it was something ordered a while ago).

Are his credit card bills still coming to your address as well. I would ask X to kindly change his address on his accounts and get his mail forwarded by the post office to his new address.

Afterall he doesn't work, so he will be able to accept deliverys at home during the day .


Julliff you sound in much better spirits. There is bound to be little hiccups along the way, but you seem to be taking them in stride. I am so happy for you!

beasygirl

Hi Juliff,

I've been told to read your thread by some of the lovely people on here as am going through something fairly similar with my DH at the moment.

I'll check back once I have read everything but so far there are so many things your talking about that I can relate to and the warning signals are flashing.