Am I too controlling over money?

julliff

Hi all

Thank you all for your ongoing support.

One day left to go.

Yesterday, when I picked up DD1 from her after school activity, I asked her if she would like to stay at her Dads for part of the half yerm, and she said she would. She then went on to say that it was a shame that her Dad did not drive, because then she would be able to stay with him every weekend. I’m afraid, I felt hurt, and said “So I would never see you at weekends?” she said “Well, you will see me in the week”. I could kick myself now, I should have not let her see that I was hurt.

Later that evening, I had cause to speak to her about her room, and said “If things don’t’ improve, I may have to do what the Mum did on Freaky Friday and remove the door - “privacy is a privilege”. Quick as a flash she said “I will definitely move in with Dad then”. I told her not to start all that, and I wasn’t having any of that.

DD2 also said she would want to.

So, than I went to talk to stbX, and asked if he wanted them to stay with him in the week over half term. He hesitated and said, well I have got some work. I was working today. The bloke said “Let me know when you are settled”, sounds like a strange sort of job to me. I just said – well, let me know ASAP, because I have Mum on standby, and I need to let her know if and when I need her.

bertiebots

Hopefully once the dust has settled and he is gone the girls will see things in another light. I have the feeling you ex isnt going to be very reliable? ...and they will see you on the otherhand are there for them.
You did right telling dd1 not to try and manipulate you!.
Hope the next 24 hours are over as quickly and unaventfully as possible.

MarieAAP

Fingers crossed for U Julliff

Zazen999

Juliff; we are having take out tomorrow in your honour [no kidding - we never have take out here, as I'm a tightwad] - so I for one am on tenderhooks for tomorrow. Your DDs are going to use that old 'I'll move in with dad then' for a while until everything settles down....it's another stick to beat you with.

Fingers crossed for you - stay strong!

Primrose

Juliff - I suspect that once your Ex is out there living on his own, his inadequacies will soon start to show up once the safety net of your domestic organisation and financial prudence has been taken away. Let your girls spend time with him if they want to, however, hard it may feel. I'm sure that before too long he'll be giving them the same excuses for his inadequacies that you've known about over the years but the important thing, now they're growing up, is that they find out these things for themselves.

They will probably continue to try and play one of you off against the other to manipulate more 'privileges' for themselves, even if in doing so, they end up cutting the noses off their faces. They will play the system as all teenagers always did, and do, but the equilibrium will be reached once they discover their father is not as reliable on his own as you are.

What time tomorrow does the furniture removal van arrive ???????

KSB235

Juliff, I've been following your thread from fairly early on and feel like its time I told you how amazingly well I think you have handled this whole situation! You have got yourself and your girls through all of this fairly unscathed (despite the attempts of your ex to off rail plans) and will maybe not look back and laugh but will at least look back and be proud of the way you have acted throughout - with dignity. Even if they don't understand now when your DD's are grown they too will look back with eyes wide open and see your ex for who he really is and see you for the fabulous mum you are to behave in the way you have. You have my utmost respect - and deserve a big glass of wine tomorrow night when hopefully it's all over!

jackieglasgow

Just wanted to pop by and send my good wishes that it all goes smoothly tomorrow. Don't worry about the girls, most teenage girls are brats, something to do with their brains not being wired properly. When they finally "switch on" they'll see sense, and see him for what he is. Only one more day, whoever would have thought you'd be here now? Well done. X

MrsAnnie

Julliff, I hope and pray that tomorrow goes smoothly x

Caroline73_2

Your girls are used to watching him manipulate you so are going to try it on a bit. Don't worry about letting your daughters seeing that you are hurt though.

You are not a stone!!!!

vandanfc

Hope the next 24 hours go okay J.

May your weekend be peaceful and special.