Am I too controlling over money?

Emmzi

GSXRCarlos wrote: »

Not sure how old you are Emmzi, but i like the sound of having Emmzi on the rocks

"old enough to buy my own wine", and the rest is surely therefore irrelevant

GSXRCarlos

Emmzi wrote: »

"old enough to buy my own wine", and the rest is surely therefore irrelevant

never truer words spoken :beer:

Julliff, how's january treating you so far?

julliff

Hi all

Things are moving. Yesterday, my solicitor called me in to sign the transfer of ownership deed. She reckons that it will be another 2 weeks before completion. OH has packed up a few more things.

DD1 asked me this morning if we were going on holiday this year. I said that I expect we would, but there’s plenty of time to think about that. She said “We’re not going, are we?” I said, yes, we will go somewhere.

She is speaking to her Dad again now, but she is not all over him, like she was before.

I still can’t imagine how they will react when he actually goes, and it is all real.

I haven’t mentioned it before, but last year (well, October 2008), I suffered with Health Anxiety. I was convinced I had cancer, and had quite a few tests done. It turned out that I was suffering with Anxiety, and it manifested itself with loads of physical symptoms. I could not function l for about 5 weeks, convinced that my kids were going to watch me die. I know it sounds silly. But, I am starting to get those feelings again. Not as bad, but I keep thinking I may have cancer. I am listening to my body so intently, I don’t seem to be able to switch it off. I wonder if it is because subconsciously I am worried about being the parent with all the responsibility.

I think the trigger has been that a neighbour has recently been diagnosed with (terminal) bowel cancer, and Coronation street has a cancer story going.

Does anyone else suffer with this, and if so, how do you cope?

MrsAnnie

julliff wrote: »

I wonder if it is because subconsciously I am worried about being the parent with all the responsibility.



Does anyone else suffer with this, and if so, how do you cope?

To be fair it seems that you always have been the parent with all the responsibility. I guess this time it is official. No need to panic because from all you have said, I think you have done and will continue to do a really good job at raising your DDs.

Did you ever get treated previously for anxiety? Maybe worth talking about this to your GP. Please don't feel that you have to be supermom all the time. Everybody need help at some point or another.


Congratulations on the transfer deeds!!! I will be sooooo happy for you, julliff, when the papers are signed.:j:j

GSXRCarlos

Julliff,

If you're at all concerned about your health, you need to see your doctor.

Your kids need you now more than ever, but that doesn't mean you have to sacrific everything in your life.

You need to put your own health first, then followed very closely by you children.

Get checked out, and put your mind at rest.

Primrose

Julliff - as you rightly surmise, the side effects of anxiety and stress manifest themselves in many physical symptoms such as ulcers, ulcerative colitis, irritable bowel symptom, diarrohea, severe headaches as a result of tense muscles and many, many other symptoms. Any of these symptoms rumbling around inside you can make you start to worry whether you have cancer. In virtually all cases you do not, but if you are seriously worried about specific symptoms, do chat to your GP.

You have gone through six months of continual stress now, and probably much more. It's hardly surprising that your body is rebelling and that at times you feel unable to function. I've found, as probably others have on here when trying to keep going in times of severe stress, that the best way to relieve your body of these stresses is to practice some regular relaxation techniques and deep breathing exercises. This means a period every day where your body, muscles and mind are allowed to totally relax, preferably lying on the floor in a quiet, warm place and "simply letting everything go" until your body feels totally limp. Get a book on yoga, meditation / relaxation from the library or Google the internet for some helpful techniques. If you can give your body this release for a brief period every day, until the relaxation process becomes part of your daily routine, you may start to feel better. But do remember that often some of these symptoms take as long to disappear as they have taken to build up, so there are no instant solutions.

Getting the deeds ownership transfer process completed will be a major milestone for you to celebrate. Just look back and reflect how far you have come since you first posted this thread in June last year. If you had known then the trials and tributions you would have had to face, you would probably not have had the courage to get started, so Jolly Well Done! You ARE getting there and on the day those deeds are finally transferred, all of us on us who have been following your progress will raise and glass to you and celebrate.

InaPickle

julliff wrote: »

I haven’t mentioned it before, but last year (well, October 2008), I suffered with Health Anxiety. I was convinced I had cancer, and had quite a few tests done. It turned out that I was suffering with Anxiety, and it manifested itself with loads of physical symptoms. I could not function l for about 5 weeks, convinced that my kids were going to watch me die. I know it sounds silly. But, I am starting to get those feelings again. Not as bad, but I keep thinking I may have cancer. I am listening to my body so intently, I don’t seem to be able to switch it off. I wonder if it is because subconsciously I am worried about being the parent with all the responsibility.

I think the trigger has been that a neighbour has recently been diagnosed with (terminal) bowel cancer, and Coronation street has a cancer story going.

Primrose wrote: »

Julliff - as you rightly surmise, the side effects of anxiety and stress manifest themselves in many physical symptoms such as ulcers, ulcerative colitis, irritable bowel symptom, diarrohea, severe headaches as a result of tense muscles and many, many other symptoms. Any of these symptoms rumbling around inside you can make you start to worry whether you have cancer. In virtually all cases you do not, but if you are seriously worried about specific symptoms, do chat to your GP.

Go to see your doctor. Do not self-diagnose as you will pretty much automatically assume that it's the worst. Don't put yourself through 'I have a headache, oh it must be a brain tumour' as the increase in stress on you just isn't worth it when you can get your mind put at rest so easily. The chances are that if you do have anything, it will be a lot less severe than what you think it is.

P.S. Primrose, you are very well informed. :T

julliff

Hi all

I could kick myself for being like this. Why can't I just let myself be happy?

I dont feel like I can go to the doctors just now, as I am trying to get some insurances in place, and dont want to get declined. (I tried to get income protection, which was deferred for 12 months due to my last period of anxiety/depression).

I dont feel as bad as I did last time - I could not eat, sleep and was in tears all the time. I just dont want to get to that state again. It did go away, and I was back to normal, so I must be able to do that again.

But, when it was happening, I completely lost it. I even considered making the kids hate me, so that if I died, they would not be so upset. (I can hear you all backing away fron the mad woman now). I really want to nip this in the bud.

I had a barium enema, which showed everything was normal, so I am trying to convince myself that everything is still normal! I also had an ultrasound of my womb and ovaries. That too was all ok.

Maybe if I went to drs, and asked about piles (sorry tmi), it would not show up as a neurosis, like the last time. If the dr is at all worried, she will refer me? They got pretty fed up with me last time.

Yategirl

Have been following your story Julliff and am glad things are nearing a point where H will be moving out.

Just a thought re:anxiety... considering your concerns re: seeing the GP and knowing that you have anxiety is it maybe worth considering an alternative until you feel you can vist the GP? Am not an expert or anything like that but wonder if St Johns Wort or even Rescue Remedy might be worth trying? Why not pop in to your local health store and see what they have available?

plimsoll

{{hugs}} not been able to keep up but you do sound like you're doing well. Piles can be a symptom of many things, if they're new/worse then may be go to GP and just ask, or maybe talk to pharmacist first & then if they say go to GP then can get that on record iyswim, went on advice?

Hope it all goes through quickly for you! xx