Am I too controlling over money?

julliff

Hi all

thank you all so,so much for your lovely messages - so heartwarming.:T

Yesterday passes quite peacefully.Mum came over and helped me make the dinner, (I don't usually get any help, so that was fab). We watched The Incredibles in the afternoon with the girls, in front of the fire.

OH is ill, apparently. I know this is going to sound harsh, and maybe he IS ill, but it was par for the course, that there would be something. He seems to be ill/angry/sad whenever there is some 'occassion', so that everyone should feel sorry for him, and he can get attention. He did sit at the table for Christmas Dinner, but he did not eat anything. Was laying down in the back room most of the rest of the time.

Part of me feels guilty for thinking like this, but he has cried wolf so many times before. He probably wont go to the doctors, as he is too stubborn.

Anyway, sister 1 has invited the girls and me over this evening, with other family members. I have decided I will go, and it is up to the girls if they want to come as well, or they can spend the evening at home with their Dad, of they don't want to leave him on his own - I really don't mind.

Was miffed on Christmas eve, when I asked DD1 if she was getting the £20 off her Dad that he had promised for cinema & pizza, and she said "I don't like to ask him. It's alright for you - you have a job". I replied that actually, it is not alright for me, as I have ALL the bills to pay. (I didn't mention about him having thousands of pounds which he spends all on himself, as I didn't want to spoil Christmas)

I hope everyone else had a great Christmas

thanks again

Money_maker

Glad yours was peaceful.

There's lots of bugs and viruses going round so if he didn't eat anything then he probably is offcolour (my DH was poorly on 23rd & 24th). In any event, there's not much you can do about it anyway, will be over it in a couple of days.

Hope you have a good evening at your sisters - I expect the girls will go with you as Dad will be either sleeping/moaning tonight!

InaPickle

Well done, Juliff - sounds like it went pretty well, relatively speaking.

Best of luck for the New Year. x

Glitzkiss

Hi Julliff,

I'm glad your Christmas wasn't too stressful. However next time your DD1 comments on how you are alright having a job and her dad should not have to pay for things remind her that she has two parents who are equally responsible for providing for her. The sooner she realises that her dad was not put on this earth to free-load the better.

keep going girl. We are all supporting you

vandanfc

Hi

Glad you got the day over with no real drama ! Hope the evening was good fun too.

RoxieW

Hi Juliff - havent read the whole thread - just the last few pages but i wanted to say that I emphasise completely with how you've been feeling. To me it does sound like depression esp the 'walking around in a daze' as I also get that when I am overwhelmed - it's as if part of you shuts down in order for the rest of you to function. You must be careful as in my experience that is one of the signs that i am heading for a melt down. Be kind to yourself. Take time to have a bath, relax, watch a dvd that makes you smile - maybe with your daughter? Treat yourself. You deserve it. And please remember that you will look back on this time with pride at how much you have achieved and how you have conducted yourself. You are being the rock your child(ren??) need and being both mum and dad. Well done! They will know where their bread is buttered and you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of being an adored and respected Mum

MrsAnnie

Hi Julliff, I am pleased to hear Xmas passed without too much drama :j.

Once the holiday season is over, and the remark is made again about Dad not having much money, maybe you should consider correcting your DD. You don't need to go into details of amounts, just say that infact he has received part of the financial settlement and he is not penniless.

Brighton_belle

MrsAnnie wrote: »

Hi Julliff, I am pleased to hear Xmas passed without too much drama :j.

Once the holiday season is over, and the remark is made again about Dad not having much money, maybe you should consider correcting your DD. You don't need to go into details of amounts, just say that infact he has received part of the financial settlement and he is not penniless.

Can I just echo this Juliffe. I too think the time has now come for it to be ok for you to say this - calmly, matter of factly etc.

Also glad xmas passed with minimal dramas though and great that you felt confident enough to go out last night.

julliff

Hi all

thanks for your comments.

Had a good time last night a sister 1's. this morning DD2 came up and announced that Dad was taking her and her sister to Framkie and Benniys. I said "that'll be nice", and then she told me that her Dad was upset because he wasn't invited on Boxing Day to sister 1's.

I replied, "well that is what happens when you are seperated." I was quite proud of myself for that. Annoyed though too, as he should not say things like that to DD, and try to make her feel sorry for him!

anyway, they went out, and I got a couple of hours all to myself. Sat in front of the fire with a DVD,eating hot mince pie and cream - I felt so decadent! I am just back from the pictures with sis 1, bil 1 & bil 2. Had a fab time. I am starting to relax into this holiday.

DD1 wants to go ice skating tomorrow with her cousins, and I suggested that she asks her Dad for the money, seeing as he did not give her the money he promised last week for the pizza etc.

Gosh, I'm getting braver by the day!

Caroline73_2

Well done Juliff!