Am I too controlling over money?

Dinah93

I had what I thought was just wierd random period related pain for about 2 years, then one night I ate dinner normally at 7pm, and by 10pm I was in hospital on morphine! Apparently its one of those things that everyone can get differently.

julliff

Hi All

I am just back fromthe hospital, having spent 4 hours at the walk in Centre :eek:

Dr is of opinion it is not appendicitis, as pain has not got worse in the last 48 hours. Also, DD2 is now feeling hungry, which means it is unlikely to be her appendix, apparently.

Anyway,I am going to keep an eye on her for the next couple of days, see what happens.

Thans for all of your advice!

DD1 has been OK today, so I feel abit calmer. OH has been his usual self.

I have to ask myself why I did not see him for what he really is, a long time ago. Better late than never, I suppose.

Brighton_belle

That's good juliffe. Hope she feels better soon
DD1 is just following her usual pattern isn't she - teenage roller coaster- glad you are getting a little break from that stress today at least.
As for OH - yup def better late than never. Don't know your age, but you have oodles of years ahead without him. Imagine discovering this at 60. Much sadder (but still not too late)

Really lovely to hear about your mum.

While he is still around it will be difficult to be motivated by the housey stuff: maybe recognise that you will have to just tread water till he is gone and then it your domain to hopefully start afresh. If dd1 wants extra priviledges for her age, she needs to recognise the responsibilities that go with it and it's a literal trade off: but perhaps that can wait til OH has gone and you aren't being dragged down by his 'example'.
I admire your determination not to let DD2 do it all.

julliff

Hi All,

DD2 is slowly on the mend I think. Pain is less often now.

DD1 did a lovely brass band concert last night, was really proud of her. OH declined the invitation to come. His loss. – but my gain, as I was able to enjoy it. Funnily enough, I saw MOR and his ex, who were there to see their DD sing. I said to my friend “At least he came”, she said – he didn’t want to – I had to pay for his ticket, and the parking, and he keeps moaning about it.



I felt really sorry for her, because I had that for years – now I can enjoy in peace. My kids don’t seem bothered anymore that he is not there – sad for them in one way, but good that they don’t get upset. My Mum came, so DD1 had her two main “carers” there. You just can’ get those moments back again, can you?

Bet OH would have come if he had known his drinking buddy was there!

My solicitor tells me that OH will not complete on his flat for 6 to 8 weeks, so he will still be around over Christmas. Still, there is an end in sight.

Thanks to you all, as ever.

consultant31

So glad your DD is feeling better. It is a worry when they show symptoms of something like appendicitis isn't it?

I'm glad you all enjoyed the concert and it just goes to show how disconnected your OH is from his family. It's one thing if he couldn't come because of work but just because he can't be bothered really is unforgivable.

New year, new life for you then :beer:

InaPickle

Things are sounding more positive, Juliff. I'm glad.

You must be happy to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

vandanfc

My solicitor tells me that OH will not complete on his flat for 6 to 8 weeks,

At least you can plan ahead for when he might be gone.


so he will still be around over Christmas.

Just spend it with your lovely Mum and the girls.

julliff

Hi All

Thanks for your posts.

Not much has happened this week, I am just feeling a bit lonely, so I hope you don't mind me posting.

Saturday, we normally have a TV dinner, where we have somthing like chicken and chips, and eat it in the front room, watching TV. Trouble is, now OH is always oin the front room, and watching what HE wants, so it doesn't feel the same. He declines to eat with us, but he just monopolises the TV. We do have a TV in the back room, but the kids never want to sit in there, and I don't see why they should anyway.

I managed to finsh my design doc at work, so I am pretty pleased with myself for that - next week is going to be busy, as I have 15 servers to build and configure, but like most techies, I'd rather do that than any amount of documentation!! I was worried I would not be able to manage the design, sometimes my thoughts are sonewhat fragmented.

Tomorrow, I am taking the girls to Bristol shopping - looking forward to that.

I have barred all outgoing calls to mobile numbers from my landline. Getting fed up with OH running up bills I have to pay. The kids have mobiles with included minutes, as do I, so it makes sense.

I read this yesterday - and afterwards I felt so ashamed of myself - my problems seem so mundane compared to this. In another eeay it has made me more determined - if those people can endure waht they did, then I can surely find the strength to guide my children through the next six months!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8381413.stm

Thanks to you all, I am so grateful!

Money_maker

You're never lonely on here! You seem to be achieving so much - well done Juliff.

Thinking about your 'back room', how about jazzing it up a bit so the girls do want to watch tv there? Perhaps a girly theme and they could help choose a few accessories to make it more special, candles, throws, rug etc? It sounds as though you have a few more weeks to go so a special den may be somewhere to escape to.

Thanks for the updates x

BitterAndTwisted

I chuckled about the bit where you said you'd barred outgoing mobile phone calls. Good for you. He shouldn't be able to leach off you and now you're not letting him, even if it's in only one tiny way. Nice one!