Am I too controlling over money?

MrsAnnie

GSXRCarlos wrote: »

is there anywhere for julliff to "stash" the savings money so it doesn't appear in the divorce proceedings? maybe give it to her mum???

Bit risky. He probably knows it is there and has his eye on it.

What about having the banks 'freeze' the joint accounts so no one can withdraw any funds until the financial settlement is complete? Can banks do this?

GSXRCarlos

but if he doesn't know how much, could she move a couple of grand, or would the divorce preceedings come looking for any recent transactions?

MrsAnnie

GSXRCarlos wrote: »

but if he doesn't know how much, could she move a couple of grand, or would the divorce preceedings come looking for any recent transactions?

I remember someone suggesting this earlier in this thread. Taking out a weekly allowance so that is is not so noticeable and then squirreling it away. Julliff might be doing this already (I hope so!).

GSXRCarlos

how would "larger gifts" be seen by the divorce courts?

julliff

Hi All,


thanks for your continued support.

things have been pretty quiet at home. There seems to be a pattern emerging with DD1s behaviour, and I think understanding this will help me cope. At times she will erupt and say the nastiest things. then she will cut me dead for a day or so. Then all of a sudden she becomes a normal kid again.

so, I am going to try to carry on as I have been - not reacting to her tantrums, but standing firm in a kind way. I will try not to dissolve into a nervous wreck, and focus my goals.

Anyway, I have arranged for 3 estate agents to value the house this week.

When I told OH,the subject of the flat came up again, and he said

"If I use the settlement money to buy that, what wouldI live on?"
I replied "You could look for a job", to which his reply was "That is easier said than done". so I said again "You could LOOK for a job", and then I left the room.

Also,today I had a call from mate across the roads ex,who said that mate across the road phoned to ask if MY oh could buy her share of the house (she left him months ago, but the house is half hers).

Not sure what to think of this - forme it is a bit close for comfort,but I suppose at least the girls would be able to see him whenever. Hmmmm .... dunno.

julliff

Oh yes, and solicitor is drawing up financial split of savings, which will be binding and final. She suggested I gave OH £500 of his savings,which will be taken into account when split is made.

Primrose

If your OH thinks buying half a share in somebody else's house after their marital split will leave him with a trouble-free existence, he wants his head examined because it won't be too long before all kinds of financial or possibly other domestic issues arise as a result. It's bad enough splitting up the house when a marriage goes wrong but then to jump in head first into another house sharing purchase is crazy. Still, what he does with his share of the money is his business. However, having him that close is not a good idea, even for the children. Do you want him sitting in the window watching your every move for the rest of your life, especially eventually if a new man eventually appears on your horizon? It would feel like living close to a stalker and the children probably wouldn't be free to come and go in a half-owned house in the same way that they would if your OH had a property of his own, even if it's only a small flat.

Money_maker

[QUOTE=julliff;25956651When I told OH,the subject of the flat came up again, and he said

"If I use the settlement money to buy that, what wouldI live on?"
I replied "You could look for a job", to which his reply was "That is easier said than done". so I said again "You could LOOK for a job", and then I left the room.[/QUOTE]

Unbelieveable. Does he think the world owes him a living?

You will be so well shot of this, Juliff.

Hang in there, girl. Things will get better.

MrsAnnie

Primrose wrote: »

Do you want him sitting in the window watching your every move for the rest of your life, especially eventually if a new man eventually appears on your horizon? It would feel like living close to a stalker and the children probably wouldn't be free to come and go in a half-owned house in the same way that they would if your OH had a property of his own, even if it's only a small flat.

Nevermind all the 'just popping over' for tea cause I am hungry, borrowing a tenner cause I am skint, can I watch tv cause mine is broke, do you have any bread cause I have no food in the house... blah blah blah.

I don't think you would have a chance to move on with your life with your OH living across the road.

I would nip that idea in the bud really fast!

And don't get me started on the fact that he finds it too strenuous to even LOOK for a job. He must be having a laugh! But seriously I think it is time he wakes up to the fact that the apron strings are being cut and he need to grow up!



Annie x

MrsAnnie

julliff wrote: »

Oh yes, and solicitor is drawing up financial split of savings, which will be binding and final. She suggested I gave OH £500 of his savings,which will be taken into account when split is made.

It is good to see that the ball is rolling on the financial side of the divorce. Be firm and don't give up a penny more than you have to. It's not about being mean, it's about making sure you and your DDs are looked after.