Am I too controlling over money?

Emmzi

juliff, remember this isn't a 50/50 split. what about the kids share of things? his requirement to provide for them?

you need to toughen up hon. Bumpy ride starts here...

MrsAnnie

julliff wrote: »

Hi all

MrsAnnie – I think I may have confused things a bit here. What I was saying is that,, by my reckoning, there will be 130K equity in our currently joint owned house. So, if I buy him out, he will get half. He can then use the money, plus his half of all of the savings ( which I believe is just classed as an asset of the marriage regardless of whose name it is in) to buy himself a flat/house, in his own name, which will be mortgage free. It will be nothing to do with me. All I was saying is that I will agree, with a proper solicitors binding agreement to settle with him for this amount. He is then on his own.

Oh sorry!!! I see now :cool:. Rant over on my part!


However I agree with what Emmzi says. The law/courts will not see it as clear cut as that. You need to speak to a (good) solicitor before you start proposing settlements to your OH. I think you are being a tad generous! Remember the hardest part isn't over yet and he may start making demands if he thinks you are being more than generous.

Primrose

As you've been bringing the income in to pay the mortgage and you will have the children living with you I think your bargaining point should be to ask for 75% of the house equity on the basis that you've put more in and going forward, will have all the financial responsibility for the children as they will be living with you. I know you feel you want to be fair but as there are three of you as the family unit and only one of him, his housing needs will be less. The toughening up process starts now !

julliff

Thank you all for your messages.

Woke up crying today.

I am overwhelmed with the support I have been getting. I have suddenly realised that there are people out the who care about how I feel. For so long now, I have felt like my feelings did not count.

I never before used to tell “outsiders” about how I was feeling, and even felt guilty for feeling like it. Thanks to you all, you have been great, as have the people have close to me – Mum especially.

I can’t believe that I used to almost avoid my family, it was always so stressful with my side of the family.

DD1 still not speaking to me. I spent most of last evening in my room, DD2 came and kept me company. OH cooked. Well, why should do it all the time?

Thanks again

julliff

Hello all

Well, weekend was not bad, all things considered. DD1 is speaking to me again now. Hope it lasts. She is not very well, and has not gone to school today. I just hope that OH does not use the opportunity of being at home with her to try to “get” to her. We’ll see.

I felt sorry for DD2 on Saturday because again she said “Dad is not speaking to me and I don’t’ know why”. I told her that unfortunately her Dad is like that sometimes and she had not done anything wrong. Boy, I wish he would grow up.

On Saturday afternoon my Mum had them both over for lunch, and, without taking sides, she gently pointed out that I am working very hard for them, and I have always put them first. She did not run down their Dad. She said they seemed to take it in.

Saturday night he went out, all dressed up. Maybe he has got his eye on someone?

Sunday afternoon, we had football mate over, so they took over front room. Spent most of the afternoon upstairs, doing bits and pieces, and then I watched Strictly on the iPlayer. Felt quite peaceful for a change.

I also took my Mum to the garden centre and DD1 came too. We were looking at fish, and she said “Well, if we did get a fish tank, Dad would probably want to put something like this in it – and picked up a hideous bovine skull thing. I really hope that this does not mean she is in denial. I didn’t say much.

I don’t think OH is going to reply to solicitors letter – not sure what happens next.

MrsAnnie

Wow Julliff, your spirits seem so much better that they have in a long while! Whatever you are doing keep it up!!! And have a good week.

MrsAnnie x

Emmzi

I like the sound of your mum

scubaangel

Yup, your Mum sounds like a great person to have around at the moment for you and your DD's .
Don't worry too much if he doesnt reply to the solicitors letter, your sol will be familiar with what to do next.

Caroline73_2

Keep going Juliff, you are doing brilliantly!

GSXRCarlos

Just renewing my support for you hun ;o)