Am I too controlling over money?

evenasus

I've been thinking of you this evening juliff.

I hope you've stayed strong and that your evening ends with you feeling the weight lifted from your shoulders.

You certainly deserve to find some peace of mind, after all you've had to put up with for so long.
You have absolutely nothing to feel quilty about.
Both your daughters will come to see what a selfish father they have.

As for the recordings on Sky+ - 'I personally', would have deleted every single thing on there, the first time I had the house to myself!
I think you have been saint-like, for what you have put up with.

Please stay strong.

julliff

Thanks for your messages of support.

Tonight is the night, I have to do this.

I am putting my bag and my keys near the front door, just in case.

Maybe it will be fine, and he will be as relieved as me.

Who knows?

Will post back again later, or tomorrow morning.

Zazen999

Sending good karma your way. xxx

julliff

hi all,

well it is done. OH wsa calm about it.

He just kept saying "You will have to tell the kids", "I told you that because of my Mum, I couldn't bear it if I didn't wake up and see my kids everyday".

He is really going to lay it on thick with the kids.

It was all I could do to stop myself screaming at him "You should have thought of that before you treated me so badly".

He even had the cheek to say "I wish you had told me that befoer I spent £85 on that decking out of my own money".

So scared still, have to tell the kids. He is not going to try to make things better for them, just be the sad one that never wanted this, so they will feel sorry for him.

God, life is so hard

Lets_Say_2

Normally just a lurker Juliff, but glad it went OK. You are doing great, the worst is over. Stay strong.

julliff

Thanks LS, I appreciate it.

I now feel so totally alone

hbloomers

Been reading your thread Julliff, and its amazing how far you've come from the beginning. You're so strong

Probably best to tell the kids before he does. Of course you didn't want this either though! No-one goes into a marriage hoping it will end in divorce. In time, your girls will realise that ending the relationship was the best thing you could've done, for your sake and theirs. My parents split up when I was 11. I'm now 19, and I can see that it was the best thing for them. They are both happier than they were, in new relationships and with new friends.

Sending you hugs

julliff

Can't sleep.

What have I done?

The kids (especially DD!) will never forgive me. OH is going to make sure that he is the one felt sorry for. I am just the one splitting the family up.


Last night, even I felt sorry for him. He is that good.

I feel like I have lost them already.

scubaangel

Julliff you have not lost your dd's what you have just walked away from is a financial and emotional drain.

It won't be easy over the coming weeks and months, noone who has ever divorced will tell you it is but once your ex husband (and it will be easier to start thinking of him as such) is not living under your roof you'll be able to think alot more clearly. Let your ex manipulate people eventually they'll see through it - you have walked away for a reason, dont be afraid to tell people why that is now the decision is made, god knows you tried for long enough.

julliff

Hi scubaangel

thanks for your support.

I am so sad and scared.

He makes me question myself all the time. I mentioned last night about him not giving over any money for mortgae, bills etc,and he said "You had a bank card, I thought you just took it" - so now I am doubting myself.

He has spent years wallowinf in self pity over his mum/dad/ brothers/job/health, and is so,so good at getting sympathy from people. The kids are an easy target for them

I have to wake kids up in a mo, must pull myself together

thanks