A new start for Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

Baby is back. Relaxation for an hour or two over now. She has a new cup and two new teats for her bottle. And an igglepiggle! (Smaller then the one received this morning.!) Maybe I will divert the big one to another chld, we will see. She doesnt need it today now anyway.
Have a good weekend all.

Savvy_sewing

Had a long talk on the phone with my BF last night. I am feeling a bit annoyed that we are not able to have our time together, and DD, twin1 is now out on the town at night. (With the friend that threatened me a few months ago!).She is clubbing/pubbing it and I am a free babysitter.
BF had tickets for the football for us today, and of course I cannot go. (Not that Imind about football, but I am minding that DD is out on the town and my wings have been clipped.!
We are going over to see Mummy today, and I am going to tell her, that she has to come and stop here a few nights a week, as she can stay in DS's bedroom when he is out. As he often is.
Then I can oversee what she is doing, but she can take responsibility for her Daughters care. Just to give me some rest.
I know it means my wings are still clipped, but at least she will have hers clipped a bit too!!!

I really am yoyoing between being able to do this care thing, and not. So much is going through my mind. On the one hand I dont want my granddaughter going into care, on the otherhand, I am stressing that I have to bring her up. I know, I am worrying before it is official. Twin1 may manage quite well when she is in the assessment centre, and prove the SW wrong.
I fear that my relationship with BF is already straining at the seams, and after 5 years I fear that we are going to end up seperating completely. We already have very different ways of bringing up our kids, and although he was brilliant with DGD last weekend, if it was a permanant thing I just cannot see him wanting to stay in with me all the time.
Oh I really am going around in circles. I just cannot seem to settle my mind one way or the other.
Never mind deal with my heart!

Errata

Would it help to write down all the benefits and all the disadvantages of being solely responsible for DGD's upbringing for the next 16 years or so; and those for her being looked after by her mum; and those for being fostered by someone outside the family ?
Sometimes seeing things written down in black and white makes them clearer and stops the 'going round in circles' thinking and brings an understanding that DGD's needs take priority over everyone else's wants.
HTH

Savvy_sewing

I suppose you are right. I usually do that sort of thing. I am just a bit of a bunny in the lights at the moment.!
Better get her dressed (again), and ready to go and see her mum. Poor soul its not her fault afterall.
Thanks x

Hardup_Hester

I think you are right about clipping DD's wings, otherwise it is just not fair.
Hester

Savvy_sewing

We went to see DD, and she was still in her dressinggown. Dispite the fact that its 22miles away, so she had time to be up, as I rang her. I wasnt very happy with her. But tried to stay calm. When I said that she should have made sure that the room was ready and safe for DGD, she said I dont want an arguement!. I said niether did I but I was disappointed in her, for not trying. I managed to stay calm, but I did tell her I wasnt happy that she was going out, sleeping in, and I am caring for her daughter, and am "cream crackered".
I managed to get her to tidy away the front room, move on a wash load, make her daughter some noodles (thats about all she had in the cupboards). We sorted out a bag full of dirtyclothes/towels etc, and we threw out the things that are far too big or too small for her, and that removed a binbag full. Unfortunately it was not in a fit state to be recycled. And with the way things are it was easier just to get it into the bin. (Goes against the grain the way I try normally, but in this case I fear needs must.).
DGD became very tired, and we had to come home as the Housing have already removed her cot to give to another mum that has twins!. I am not happy about that either. As that means that I have no option but to have DGD here, and nto be able to take her to her mums and me sleep over there with them. (Which would make Mum do more and me less!).
I have also told her that she is to come home with me on Monday, and stay over, and that she can be learning the things that needs to be done already and take more time with her daughter.
DGD is not even appearing to be bothered at the fact that she is with me and not her Mum. No tantrums etc when its time to leave. Just kisses mum goodbye and waves from the window of the car.
BF has gone to football. So still not sure if he is going to come over here after or not. Depends on if he has to drive his daughter to work tomorrow or not, and if he is tired or not.

minimoneysaver

How come that the housing can just come in and take her child's cot? I don't understand. Surely the cot belongs to your daughter? If it is a forgone conclusion that baby is staying with you, then things need to be made more final with the correct paperwork and payments in place, including child benefit, child tax credits and any other payments coming direct to you. What happened to the section 17 (I think that's what it was) of you legally fostering your granddaughter?

SuziQ

Mooloo if I was you I would REFUSE to be thrown back into the financial nightmare you were in last year. If they can't fully fund you taking her back,dig your heels in-I would be going to see my MP. It would cost them far more to put them both into some sort of care so they damn well should help fund you-as the best person to help them. I think it is outrageous and I have never felt so little respect for SW's as I have since I have been reading your thread.If you cave under the pressure of housing and financail problems what will happen then? Ooh it makes me sooooo angry!

Savvy_Sue

floss2 wrote: »

When you have spoken to the landlord, make an appointment with the local homeless officeas with DD and DGD you may find you are in a priority group for housing, as it is not through any fault of your own that you have been put in a situation which has breached your tenancy, thus putting your accommodation in jeopardy.

That's true, and having your DGD with you certainly alters the priority they have to give you.

Savvy_Sue

I can't remember if I suggested this last year or not, I have a feeling I did, but can you get someone to refer you to the Vicar's Relief Fund? You could ask for any of the things you are so desperate for. You do need to be referred, but there's a wide range of people who can do that.