A new start for Mooloo

jackieglasgow

That made very difficult reading Gizmo, maybe it would be better off the thread and in a pm. I am deleting the comments I have made today too.

gizmo111

jackieglasgow wrote: »

That made very difficult reading Gizmo, maybe it would be better off the thread and in a pm. I am deleting the comments I have made today too.

Do you mean difficult because it so long - or because of the reality of it?

jackieglasgow

Thanks Gizmo

Savvy_sewing

Read it all.
Thanks
Havent time to reply here today, off to see the boys, my precious hour a fortnight.

tired_mum

I think Jackie G has hit the nail on the head The reality is you cannot take the boys on you are coping with DGD but its tough you are just getting secure housing for the 3 of you would you really want to put that in jepordy on the off chance that DD can look after the boys ? DS is quite right to try and keep the family together but its not realistic I cant see that DD will get much help as services are being cut and this is only a new relationship and how will she cope with 2 stroppy teens without them manipulating her from an early age as she is easily led how will she discipline them? The support from Biggest will not be there as she is starting a family of her own and her time that she will be able to share will be less you need to concentrate on you,DS, and DGD as if you split yourself too much i fear you could loose DGD as you would be doing her an injustice I say this as a mum of 3 who had 3 under 3 at one point one with ADHD/Aspergers
Take care and look after yourself. xx

Savvy_sewing

tired_mum wrote: »

I think Jackie G has hit the nail on the head The reality is you cannot take the boys on you are coping with DGD but its tough you are just getting secure housing for the 3 of you would you really want to put that in jepordy on the off chance that DD can look after the boys ? DS is quite right to try and keep the family together but its not realistic I cant see that DD will get much help as services are being cut and this is only a new relationship and how will she cope with 2 stroppy teens without them manipulating her from an early age as she is easily led how will she discipline them? The support from Biggest will not be there as she is starting a family of her own and her time that she will be able to share will be less you need to concentrate on you,DS, and DGD as if you split yourself too much i fear you could loose DGD as you would be doing her an injustice I say this as a mum of 3 who had 3 under 3 at one point one with ADHD/Aspergers
Take care and look after yourself. xx

I get your point. Remember that I did bring up 3 under 3 myself. Two of them with ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia and autism, and went on to have a fourth child not many years later.
I know my limitations. I also know that I have been looking at it all from every dam angle I can.
I am putting all of my thoughts down, as I do know that all of you out there may not know me personally, but if you have been tagging along, you will know me well enough, by my personality being laid bare for all to see.

I have to cover all angles or I would not be me.
I have to fight as long as I can, or I would not be me.
I have to be positive as I can, or I would not be me.

Life is all too negative and that is so depressing.
I dont give a dam if they do not have the funding.
I would do all I can for the family, until I am finally told, its too late and there is nothing that I can do about it. Until it is completely out of my control.

DS and DGD get my attention., probably why I am trying to look at the situation again. DS request.
DGD will always get the attention that she needs from me. As do all of my children. Dispite DS being portrayed as not getting my attention. He does. He is just quiter and not demanding, and never has been. But when we do manage our talks, he is conversant, and puts his opinions forward.
He said that he would rather have been brought up by a single mum then be put into the care system. He has friends who are lost soles becuase of the care system.

Sorry Gizmo, but I do not trust the care system, you are right. No I dont want the boys to stay in foster care, and if we as a family are not able to meet thier needs, then yes they need to be adopted. But that is the last choice.
We do not want to loose them, Twin2 doesnt want to loose them. My mother is 76 and is heart broken that this is happening and that they have been denyied access to their great grandsons.
My father is 78 and is willing to help me with my granddaughter, and loves her to bits. Why do the boys have to be denied this love from all of us.
There are a lot of children being brought up by the extended family. With no sign of the social services. Its just dealt with within.

I feel gutted at the moment. Dispite all the oposition, I am only trying to find a solution.

For all.

When the LA tell me. I cannot have them, and Mother cannot have them. Then I will be the most broken hearted woman there can be.

Yes I will survive, but I will always have a dull spot.

Got to go nnow. We are late

Keeping_Motivated

Mooloo you sound so angry and I totally get that. It sounds like what you are saying is you won't give up the fight no matter what, even though you don't fully have a solution you will fight to the bitter end. Good for you and I can't say I would be any different.

Keep fighting xx

jackieglasgow

Mooloo, I don't think anyone is trying to tell you that you are wrong, we just wanted to also reassure you that making the decision to step away would not make us think any less of you, and that it shouldn't make YOU think any less of you, if you see what I mean? Of course you need to fight as hard as you can, and as I said before, if it doesn't work out, then at least you can hand on your heart live with the knowledge that you tried everything you possibly could to help your boys, and will be able to tell them that too. But then again it might work, and you could get what you want too. x

clairehi

I agree with what Jackie said above.

Mooloo, I am so sorry it has come to this for you and the family and I just wanted to clarify my previous post was not intended as a criticism of you in any way....anyone can see from this thread how much you love the boys and that you would move mountains to keep the family together... hearts are breaking for you right now.

I can completely understand that you are racking your brains looking for any way to keep the boys in your family, and you are right to keep fighting. hope this makes sense and good luck.

x

Molly41

Mooloo has read some very negative posts which seem to have been deleted now and had a very difficult PM to read so I can understand why she is feeling very upset and angry. I know Mooloo personally and know what a remarkable woman she is and I want her to know that I will support her whatever happens. There is no right and wrong way but there is Mooloo's way and we all have to respect her and support her in whatever she needs to do in order to manage this very difficult situation. Just like there are no flies on DGD so there are no flies on Mooloo and she has her eyes open - she knows the odds are stacked against her and her family but still she is fighting and that takes true courage.