A new start for Mooloo

Molly41

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Molly, how did your daughter get on? We had a nasty moment yesterday when there was a postcard from DS3's 2nd choice uni, welcoming him, because Unis have known results since Sunday so have decided who they'll take and who not. Anyway, DS3 looked on a forum and found that it didn't mean he hadn't made his first choice, and his results were fine! Phew!

Oh thats good for your son. Congratulations.
Unfortunately DD did not do as well but she has a plan and we will support her all the way. She was kinda expecting it and so were we so no major shocks in store. Shes out tonight comiserating:eek::eek::eek:

Seaxwyn

Hi Mooloo, that is great news that the doctor has looked into the twins' history and realised they need support. Let's hope that they will now get the support they need, and a load will be taken off your shoulders.

missiemog

mooloo,

i happened upon your tribulations a few weeks ago, and couldn't help myself but go back to the beginning and read it all to see how you'd gotten to where you are.

i have to say i've been exhausted just reading this, never mind how you must be actually living it.

i've only just managed to catch up with everything now (i've had a few very very late nights/early mornings - 'just one more page, just another ten minutes'!). hats off to you for managing to keep on keeping on.

telling my life story isn't my thing, but when you read this kind of stuff it does make you think when you're having a !!!! day or the world falls out of your bottom, there are people out there who really ARE at the bottom or the end and they manage to get by and get through today and deal with tomorrow when it comes - however hard it is or has been.

you're clearly a strong, independent woman who's had lots flung at her and, with some clearly low times, got (and is still going) through it.

when she's older and reads this, your granddaughter will be incredibly proud of what you've gone through and done for her.

you're the kind of person that others call an inspiration.

Savvy_sewing

missiemog wrote: »

mooloo,

i happened upon your tribulations a few weeks ago, and couldn't help myself but go back to the beginning and read it all to see how you'd gotten to where you are.

i have to say i've been exhausted just reading this, never mind how you must be actually living it.

i've only just managed to catch up with everything now (i've had a few very very late nights/early mornings - 'just one more page, just another ten minutes'!). hats off to you for managing to keep on keeping on.

telling my life story isn't my thing, but when you read this kind of stuff it does make you think when you're having a !!!! day or the world falls out of your bottom, there are people out there who really ARE at the bottom or the end and they manage to get by and get through today and deal with tomorrow when it comes - however hard it is or has been.

you're clearly a strong, independent woman who's had lots flung at her and, with some clearly low times, got (and is still going) through it.

when she's older and reads this, your granddaughter will be incredibly proud of what you've gone through and done for her.

you're the kind of person that others call an inspiration.

Hello Missiemog,
I apologies for reeling you into my world and causing you reduced sleep at night!.
I have never really thought about the "lurkers" or those that read my thread being inspired by me! Exhausted I can understand.
Thats how I feel the minute I wake up in the morning until the time I go to bed. Every day is filled even when at the start of it there was no plan. Even when I do plan my days, its interrupted 99% of the time.

When I first came on MSE, and was posting on Hypno's thread, I was really looking for help financially as to where to go to get the right funding. Then I realised that the reason I write so much, is that its a release valve to me, to get things out of my head, and on to the paper. I suppose as my life revolves around the twins and now the grandchildren, it was a Relationship thing. So thats why I moved over to this board.
The support I have received and the new friends that I have made along the way, are the reasons I still plod.
I post partly to let those who have been following me know how things are going, partly to keep me sane. I am in no doubt that if I had not started this "journal" of my life, I would have sunk under the weight of it all.
Having been an RAF brat, we moved around the world often, and my friends were all short term, as we would eventually loose touch.
In adult life circumstances have meant that I have moved, so very oftern, that finding friends that become close friends has been very difficult for me.
(I have now lived in this village for 15 months, and was only just invited to join others at the village pub 2 weeks ago. To welcome me to the village and meet others). I think the fact that I stepped out of my comfort zone and went to the village market in the village hall, was probably a bit of an eye opener to the villagers. As the market is only for those from the village, or nearby villages, they were surprised that I was living amongst them and they didnt know!.

Meeting Molly, from here, has been the best thing that has happened to me this year. We live about 7 miles or so apart, but are intouch now every day, thanks to MSE. I now have someone with a face that I can relate too. Already I feel we have become best of friends, and it has brightened my world considerably. Looking forward to the days that I see Molly really do give me a boost.

The advise has all been positive, and is my choice whether or not I follow it. Sometimes I want to follow things, but the day has gone before I know it, and I have missed opportunities. Sometimes my health gets in the way, and other times its Procrastination that gets in the way.
Myself esteem seems to go from 0- Zero(joke), its low, and my feelings of inadequacy are spiralling to the top of the ladder.
Frustration seems to exhaust me, and I often wonder why I am bothering.
My world is not so bad as many others, and I am fortunate that my DGD is bright, beautiful and a reason to carry on. To see her little face when she discovers something new, or when she just asks for a Cuddle and says I love you granny. That makes it all worth it.

Relationships wise, my children have always come first, and therefore the men in my life cannot get to grips with that, so thats the saddest part for me. It makes life a bit more unstable then I would have wished. But its no contest really. Now its not just my children to think about but the grandchildren. Something that I hadnt really expected to happen. I suppose I was hoping that the girls would find someone who loved them, and that they would be helping to care for them, alas the problem is that they are vunerable to others and the wrong kind of people are attracted to them!

Anyway, sorry for the ramble. Just letting you, and other lurkers etc see why I write my Life story down, dispite me not meaning to in the beginning!.

It is very good of you to think that I am an inspiration, but I cannot see it. I feel that any mum would do the same.

Perhaps you will come out of lurkdom and say hi again sometime.


On a good note, (I think) BF has decided to invite DGD and myself over for the weekend. As we have been talking, I hope that this is a good thing and we can work it out. 6 years is a long time to give up. There will be those of you who will dispare of me. I am sorry to let the side down, but I want to try. I dont think any relationship is perfect, and I have to accept that my situation is unusual.:D

Molly41

Oh Mooloo you have brought a tear to my eye. I agree that meeting has also been the best thing that happened to me this year too my friend. We have a lot in common and your advice to me has really helped. I am privileged to have been let into your and DGD's life and so has my DD as she has a lovely relationship with DD that has really warmed my heart. Our cuppa's and chats brighten my day toox

Remember that you have achieved so much this year with DGD and life will settle down eventually. Hope you all ahve a lovely weekend - I know how much you have agonised over the past few weeks and really hope you can work it out with B/F x

Errata

On a good note, (I think) BF has decided to invite DGD and myself over for the weekend. As we have been talking, I hope that this is a good thing and we can work it out. 6 years is a long time to give up. There will be those of you who will dispare of me. I am sorry to let the side down, but I want to try. I dont think any relationship is perfect, and I have to accept that my situation is unusual.:D

Your life and your choice. Nobody but you can walk in your shoes, so there is no 'side' to let down. Take things as they come.

minimoneysaver

Big hugs to you Mooloo, and I hope that you manage to relax and have a lovely weekend. x

shaz_mum_of__2

mooloo wow that post was quite moving .........

On the b/f front you do whats best for you , only you know the whole situation with regards to your relationship but my only concern would be that only a relationship with honesty and openess will work long term. Be clear about your expectations and realistic too. I really hope it works out for you , everyone needs love and support.

Shazx

Savvy_sewing

shaz_mum_of__2 wrote: »

mooloo wow that post was quite moving .........

On the b/f front you do whats best for you , only you know the whole situation with regards to your relationship but my only concern would be that only a relationship with honesty and openess will work long term. Be clear about your expectations and realistic too. I really hope it works out for you , everyone needs love and support.

Shazx

sorry, wasnt supposed to be moving. Explaining!

Shaz have sent you a PM:T.

Re the BF, I have realised over the last 6 weeks or so, that things will not be what I had dreamt of. That I will probably always end up living on my own. (Well with DGD, for a while). And that rather then staring at four walls, there is something between us that keeps drawing us back together, and so I will just have to accept that if I want any relationship, then its going to be on a part time basis.
Then again, I could look at it differently, and look at it, that I am "having my cake and eating it", if I think that I get the weekends away, /city breaks, and companionship, but that I get to seperate it from my family hassles, and life here, and that I can go to bed on my own during the week, take up the bed, and eat digestives and make crumbs if I want too!!:cool:
Well thats what I am telling myself anyway.
Lets get one weekend over at a time! See what happens.
But yes we must talk more, continue to talk, and we must makes sure that we are open and honest and stop hiding our feelingsfrom each other.

Right, DGD didnt sleep, is now playing with the stickle bricks, she is telling every one of them that she Loves them! pretending there mobile phones mostly!! What has the world come too?

Errata

Sometimes a man in one's life but not in one's house can be a very satisfying relationship. How things are turning out isn't what you expected, but I guess it's not what your BF expected either and that can make it all a bit of a struggle and take some effort to understand each others expectations and perspective.
Talking and listening is what makes the world go round - txting, emails and MSN are no substitute for that.
Enjoy your weekend, whatever it brings.