A new start for Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

shaz_mum_of__2 wrote: »

Oh mooloo you poor thing


The spondylosis is a degenerative disease but it isn't necessarily progressive(going to get worse) you may stay as you are for a long time although unlikely to get any better . But as you know it also means good and bad days (i have had a bad week the pain has retuned along with numbness )

Sounds to me like you had a good chat but didn't necessarily like what was said .............least he was honest, it sounds like you will save yourselves(both of you) a lot of heartache down the line if you make a clean break now , but only you know that really

Hugs

Shaz

Thanks Shaz,
I am sorry to read that your having a bad week. i can certainly relate to that. The numbness is worse then the pain at times, as there doesnt seem to be anything that can be done about it, and that relates into "accidents" well it does in my case. Stepping onto the wrong surfaces. The arm being so "heavy" its like having a stroke, (again). My numbness goes from the side of my face to the tip of my toes. Somedays all the way, somedays just part of it.

Re the BF. I think that today, in my heart I know that its got to be the end. But I suppose it will hurt for a while. I was grasping at straws to think that there was a way we could work things out.
We are just too different on our opinions. I cant bring myself to say, go away, enough is enough.? Why?
What part of self preservation have I lost?
Or is it just the self esteem? maybe its that.:o

thorsoak

Mooloo, I know you still have feelings for him - but I am aghast at his reaction ...he is so selfish - worried about your health in later years - that he might have to be responsible??? For heaven's sake - what a wonderful, caring man he is (and here I really want a rolling eyes icon!).

Yes, you hurt - you've expended quite a lot of time on this relationship - and you are obviously a very caring person. He is not. His main priorities are to himself - well so be it - you will be far better off without him - not a fact that you want to accept at the moment - but if you were to read what you've written as if they had been written by someone else about their b/f, I'm sure you'd agree.

And if he does read this thread still - good - he will realise what a perfect specimen of selfish manhood we recognise him to be!

You won't be alone for the rest of your life, Mooloo - you are too kind and caring a person so to be - companionship and more will find you.

{{hugs}}

tired_mum

I actually think he was being honest about his feelings he could of kept stringing things along without saying anything or could have just said i dont love you bye. We dont know his circumstances he may not want to do this again he may just be scared so before we condem him we dont know his past. There is no doubt that Mooloos children have had an impact on their relationship but they are not his children nor grandchildren and most of us look forward to a retirement of peace and time to do things go places as a couple sometimes with their grandchildren but not permanantly who wants to be 75 with a stroppy teen an an ill partner a lot to take on maybe he just wants Mooloo ill or well but cant see that happening as Mooloo is a mother and grandmother first then partner
Hugs Mooloo things will work out i am sure

shaz_mum_of__2

Mooloo wrote: »

Thanks Shaz,
I am sorry to read that your having a bad week. i can certainly relate to that. The numbness is worse then the pain at times, as there doesnt seem to be anything that can be done about it, and that relates into "accidents" well it does in my case. Stepping onto the wrong surfaces. The arm being so "heavy" its like having a stroke, (again). My numbness goes from the side of my face to the tip of my toes. Somedays all the way, somedays just part of it.

Me too , i often descibe my symptoms as stroke like, the biggest problem on bad days is the loss of independance, i cant even hiold my fork on those days my pain strts in my scalp at the back of my head and goes down to my hip ...then sciatic pain into my thigh the left side fascial numbness is the worst as it feels quite scarey , i do find though that because i look healthy people are less understanding. In fact i am writing about that for my dissertation!


We are our own enemy though eh, i painted 4 fence panels last week ....now i am paying the price

No knitting tonight though

Savvy_sewing

shaz_mum_of__2 wrote: »

Me too , i often descibe my symptoms as stroke like, the biggest problem on bad days is the loss of independance, i cant even hiold my fork on those days my pain strts in my scalp at the back of my head and goes down to my hip ...then sciatic pain into my thigh the left side fascial numbness is the worst as it feels quite scarey , i do find though that because i look healthy people are less understanding. In fact i am writing about that for my dissertation!


We are our own enemy though eh, i painted 4 fence panels last week ....now i am paying the price

No knitting tonight though

Thats something that we are both feeling then. That people look at you and think that there is nothing wrong, but I can feel it.
The pain you describe is exactly the pain I have. From the head to the hip, from the sciat nerve to the foot.
Especially having numbness in the face, although it doesnt show, it feels odd, and the side of my eye always feels as if my face has dropped, but if I look in the mirror i see it, but nobodyelse does.
Right I have to serve dinner.


Re BF. Yes he was being honest. I respect him for that.
However it doesnt stop the hurting.
We both have to think long and hard, and at the moment, it looks like there are too many things against us, then there is for us.!.

mommame

Well mooloo I dont often comment on your posts but I read it daily and to say I am gobsmacked at xbf statement is frankly an understatement,does this man not know that we are all living life on the edge and we have no idea what is around the corner for any of us.

It may happen that you might end up looking after him in a few years but if you love this man you will meet it head on.
My brother and his wife just off the plane from holidays and ended up in the hospital with my brother having a massive heart attack and now has 8 stents fitted,he already had one on holiday but just thought it was the heat affecting him.
The wife was the one having health problems not him.
Are we now all going to undergo and pass an mot style test before embarking on a relationship!!!!!.
Let this selfish man go his own road and you my dear will not be on your own for long,not with a heart as big as yours XXX

Savvy_sewing

mommame wrote: »

Well mooloo I dont often comment on your posts but I read it daily and to say I am gobsmacked at xbf statement is frankly an understatement,does this man not know that we are all living life on the edge and we have no idea what is around the corner for any of us.

It may happen that you might end up looking after him in a few years but if you love this man you will meet it head on.
My brother and his wife just off the plane from holidays and ended up in the hospital with my brother having a massive heart attack and now has 8 stents fitted,he already had one on holiday but just thought it was the heat affecting him.
The wife was the one having health problems not him.
Are we now all going to undergo and pass an mot style test before embarking on a relationship!!!!!.
Let this selfish man go his own road and you my dear will not be on your own for long,not with a heart as big as yours XXX

Oh mommame, I wish your brother and sister inlaw, well.!
I agree, non of us know what is around the corner!. I would like to think that I will stabilise for a few years yet to come, but I didnt know that I was going to suddenly fall ill in the first place! I was rather active, busy, and worked really hard, until I was diagnosed with spondylosis. I had good jobs, and the opportunity to rise quite well within the charity organisation. Its still frustrating that I know what to do, to improve things, to make money for charity, and my body will not let me do it!. So very frustrating.

Re BF, I think he will learn in time, that life is not predictable. He should already have known after 6 years as my BF that my life certainly wasn't. (If I had known the kinds of things that I would have had to deal with, I dont think I would have survived the first inccidents!. The will to live, over took the will to die me thinks! At 14 I found out that, when I was nearly strangled by a soldier!) But thats another life time ago now. (and another soldier interviened thank goodness!).

Right, no more looking at the bleak side of this relationship stuff.
Whats happened has happened, and I may be sad inside, but I am not going to carry it around on my sleeve! I have a rather disturbed little granddaughter at the moment. She is having bad dreams and wet the bed for the first time. I didnt make any issue of it, as she was ddry very early indeed. But it worried me that she is crying in her sleep! She is restless. I need to reasure her that its all OK. and I will have to tell all these people who are coming and going into our house, that they have got to stop discussing her, infront of her. She was at Biggest of Mooloo's for the weekend, and they have said that she was asking after her granny all weekend. I worry that she is thinking that she will be uplifted yet again!

Later today I will be ringing my solicitor to see if we can get an appointment.
I shall get that ink into my printer and print off the report that I had from the fostering team, and gather up my bits and pieces ready to see him.

DS mentioned that he wants to go and meet up with his GF later today. I have told him that I dont have enough petrol to keep running around all over the place so not to expect to see her everyday. That there are a lot of little jobs around the cottage/garden that need doing and I will need his help to do.
So I will be waking him in the middle of the morning. (or nothing will get done). He was on the Xbox until god knows when last night. He did help me change DGD's bed, thats something that I find difficult to do.
She is playing on the sittingroom floor with her new stickle bricks that I had bought on the market the other day. Her imagination is good.

minimoneysaver

Awwww, big hugs to DGD. Children are so sensitive to their surrounding. I wonder if the bf is the straw that broke the camels back, so to speak? From your previous post, she enjoyed spending time with him. She may have grown quite attached and feel that yet another person has been taken away from her.
I'm sure that if you stop people talking about family issues when she is around it will help to ease her fears and may make her feel a bit more settled. You never know, she may have overhead a conversation about her being taken away from you?

Savvy_sewing

minimoneysaver wrote: »

Awwww, big hugs to DGD. Children are so sensitive to their surrounding. I wonder if the bf is the straw that broke the camels back, so to speak? From your previous post, she enjoyed spending time with him. She may have grown quite attached and feel that yet another person has been taken away from her.
I'm sure that if you stop people talking about family issues when she is around it will help to ease her fears and may make her feel a bit more settled. You never know, she may have overhead a conversation about her being taken away from you?

I think that she is an intelligent child, and she is very aware of her surroundings. She has wondered why she has not seen BF lately, and i had to say he was away on a holiday. she was not here when he came over to talk to me on Saturday.

Today DS has suddenly got some motivation and is doing the list of jobs that I gave him. In record time. This means he wants a lift into the town.!
I shall take a leaf out of BF's book here, and use him to do the things I want him to do, before I take him anywhere!

The Adult Services have just been on the phone to me. They are going to send yet another person to come out to assess my needs. I said that i wasnt sure if I was eligable as yet, as its only some days that I cannot do things? But the SW for DGd has asked them to assess me. So its not all plain sailing.
Now the day has started to rush bye. I have done the washing, washed up, got DGD out in the garden while I hung out the washing. (Now that is a difficult task that needs a rest after!).
She played out there with the neighbours dog, so she has let off some steam.
Things are getting done. Now I must get the phone and call that solicitor.

Savvy_sewing

I have managed to get an appointment with my solicitor next Tuesday morning. Again another busy morning while DGD is in Nursery.!
Supposed to be the day I get to relax, mmmm appointments abound.
DGD fell asleep in the car, and wouldnt go back to sleep when we got in. So I will not get a rest until she is in bed tonight, as I dropped DS in town.
But he did do the recyclingbox, mow the lawn, and gave me his washing after sorting out under his bed for me!. He has been invited to Wicksteed park tomorrow with his new girlfriend. so I will get my sit growing for the day after!.