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A new start for Mooloo

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  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,580 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Rampant Recycler
    Take your time with BF. I suppose this is a lot for him to take in. It's easy for all of us to sit here and give advice, but at the end of the day, he is having to go through it with you. It is right that he stands by you and I would have thought that after six years, he would still want to do that, relationship or no relationship. One thing I have noticed is that you are communicating a lot by text and email. I don't know if this is a good idea, as things can often be taken the wrong way. I have an ex, who is now a very good friend and we often chat on the phone, either during the day or late at night when things have calmed down. Even though we don't get to see each other much because of things going on in our lives, it is a comfort to know that we are there for each other. If things work out, we may embark in a relationship in the future, but it isn't the right time for either of us right now.


    That is the crunch of it all. We met via the emails, and they have continued to go on. When we had the pub, we tried calling but I was always busy serving in the bar and couldnt talk. So texting became the norm. So if its during his working day, its via email. If its during home time, its texts.
    Unless I send him an email after "lights out" that he gets to read in the mornings.
    It is totally not the way we should be communicating. Its become a habit that has caused a lot of trouble between us. As is this thread.

    But when it appears to be the only option? I dont know. Anyway we will just have to see what happens next. If indeed anything does happen.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,580 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Rampant Recycler
    Molly41 wrote: »
    Mooloo this was on the benefits board and thought you would find it useful... asit looks like you can claim child benefit and ctc for DGD as there is no order in place is there? Hope you go on ok. Have PMed you - hope i didnt sound too harsh re you know who but dont want to see you hurt xx

    Kinship Care Allowances
    I specifically deal with the kinship care allowance and it's affect on benefits and other entitlements in Scotland.

    As a rule of thumb, if you have a 'looked after child' (meaning there is an order in place through the Children's Hearing System, most often a Supervision Order) and you receive a kinship care allowance from your Local Authority, then you are cannot receive both Child Tax Credit and the Kinship Care Allowance.

    If you receive a kinship care allowance for a 'not looked after child' (meaning it is an informal arrangement with the parents or you have a Residence Order) then you can claim both the Child Tax Credit and the allowance.

    You should be able to receive Child Benefit in either case. It's always best to check everything out with an expert advice agency like Citizens Advice. Kinship Care is dealt with differently in England and there you would be assessed and paid as a Kinship Foster Carer and the same benefit rules apply as though you were receiving a foster payment.


    Thanks Molly, thats actually on a thread that I started, and still follow.
    I personally am not allowed. We live in England. But if I go for the Guardianship apparantly I will be allowed to claim it, and tax credits? But we are to see what else will happen.
    Today I have recieved a form for means testing my finances and for them to work out what Package they would offer me.
    Hence I need to get the lawyer back on board.
    Alas I fell asleep this afternoon longer then I expected and it was 5pm before I woke. So it will have to wait a bit longer. Although they may be in a rush, I am not!.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • Errata
    Errata Posts: 38,230 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Mooloo - in the link that I posted about the case in Kirklees and Special Guardianship, the judge made it very clear that the SG allowance must be the same as the allowance foster carers receive. That allowance is most certainly not means tested so it follows that neither should the SG allowance be.
    You need to consult your solicitor ASAP not only to ensure that you are following procedure, but to ensure the LA is also.
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 47,312 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    gizmo will tell us if it's different in Scotland, although in this kind of case it shouldn't be!
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • Errata
    Errata Posts: 38,230 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Things may be different in Scotland. The Kirklees case was in Yorkshire and Mooloo is in Northamptonshire.
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 47,312 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    :o Is Kirklees not in Scotland then? My geography is a bit fuzzy north of the Thames. :o
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • Js_Other_Half
    Js_Other_Half Posts: 3,116 Forumite
    Savvy_Sue wrote: »
    :o Is Kirklees not in Scotland then? My geography is a bit fuzzy north of the Thames. :o
    Rofl - kirklees is the council area for Huddersfield, Dewsbury, Batley etc. It is one of 5 councils in West Yorkshire
    The IVF worked;DS born 2006.
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 47,312 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Rofl - kirklees is the council area for Huddersfield, Dewsbury, Batley etc. It is one of 5 councils in West Yorkshire
    I'm not sure whether to :o or :rotfl:, they were all Ridings last time I knew anything about them!

    Very many moons ago, I used to give out the grant cheques to students at a Poly - see, there's two words there which show my great age! - and I was quite good then at linking LEAs and county towns, but they've changed it all now so I'm completely lost!

    It's the kirk bit which confuses me, too!
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,580 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Rampant Recycler
    I would be just as lost as to areas, regions etc. Also shows some age. and yet I was good at Geography as a child! even have the O level! oops.
    But what do I ever use that for, and now, I have a sat nav, so I just programme it in and follow it!

    I will make my call to the solicitor/lawyer what ever the difference is, on Monday now. I am getting my todo list sorted out.
    Only just remembered the dam Tax Credit forms. I thought I had done it over the phone, but I really cannot remember, so I did it last night, and posted it at 6am this morning, on my way to take twin1 to her Marshalling.!
    Now I have the rest of the day to myself. I shall get a sleep in again somewhere, but I am awake now.
    I am not happy with the sewing that I did last night. My hearts are wonky when I stuffed them. So start again.
    I am not doing the market this morning. I haven't enough different things to do. I shall probably only do it once a month. that gives me the time to make enough stock to be more eye catching.
    I want more colour into the stall for a start. More variety and price ranges, gifts and homeware type things to attract the various types of people that come to the village. (Which are not that many!). But I dont want to expand to anything else, as my care of DGD is uppermost. The sewing is just something to get the business woman side of me out of the cobwebs.

    The report that the Fostering SW is sending in was emailed to me, to read before it was presented to her superiors.
    She is recommending that DGD stays with me. Thank goodness.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,580 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Rampant Recycler
    Well I have been busy since my last post.
    I have been rearranging my sitting room. I hadnt planned to, but once I had fixed the drive belt on the vacuum I wanted to do the sittingroom carpet and so had to move the furniture. Oh dear god the stuff is heavy. I had to have a break inbetween parts of it, as it was really a superhuman effort for me to move things! I am hoping that by moving my chair, (which I thought about as the sofa etc were across the room), that DS and twin1 will not head straight for my chair anymore. I am sick of telling them to get off my chair, and to use the sofa. (the sofa is lower and I find it hard to get out of at times. The chair is a recliner, and I can move it to suit me.

    So the sitting room has been blitzed.
    The bathroom carpet vacuumed.
    The kitchen washing up done, the surfaces clean, there is washing on the line. And.................

    I have used up most of todays spoons!.
    I need a sleep soon.
    But having the house to myself and the day to do what i like, (bar a drive back to Silverstone later to collect twin1 and drop her back to hers) I am a free agent! Until about 2pm tomorrow! Yipee.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
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