A new start for Mooloo

Savvy_Sue

OUCH! you take care now Mooloo, we know you've been electrified now you've got the SEP fields sorted, but electrocuted! :eek:

Jo4

What a day you have had. I hope you get a good nights sleep!

supermezzo

From one who had a previous similar experience with a wall light, don't be surprised if you're feeling a bit sleepy or just plain 'off' tomorrow. Be nice to yourself and don't push it for a couple of days to let yourself get quite literally, over the 'shock'.
And I I often to say to a very good friend of mine, take care of you.

Savvy_sewing

supermezzo wrote: »

From one who had a previous similar experience with a wall light, don't be surprised if you're feeling a bit sleepy or just plain 'off' tomorrow. Be nice to yourself and don't push it for a couple of days to let yourself get quite literally, over the 'shock'.
And I I often to say to a very good friend of mine, take care of you.

Thanks for the warning.!
I always feel sleepy, with the medication I am on,!:D

My thumb feels strange, the point of entry, but apart from that, no ill effects as yet.

Today is the LAC review. To see how things are going with DGD here at the fostering and to see if any support etc has been put in place.
So the Nursery has started, (yesterday)
The Dentist is tomorrow,
The medical is Friday.
The family Safetly agreement (oh hes bringing that for me to sign just before the meeting).
The Child Care Plan, ? Also to be discussed, but after yesterdays call, I gather that this is to be a long term fostering arrangement.
Still pushing me to go for Residency. But I have said that I cannot afford to go for a residency order. I do not want to be bringing my granddaughter up in abject poverty. He was a bit funny about that, and i explained that if I was to just get a single persons benefits, approx adds up to £130 a week. Which is less then the fostering allowances, of £133.84, and then I loose my ESA as well, £91.40 a week, we would be loosing nearly £100 a week income. That would mean NO CAR, NO HOLIDAYS, NO NEW CLOTHES, TOYS ETC ect and that would be denying her her future. Lets see what they answer that one with>
Imagine living in this village with no car?
That would mean no NUrsery, no shopping trips and dependant on the internet. Which on that money I would probably not be able to have broadband and a house phone, or sky ether. not a way forward if you ask me. Just to save them some funds.



Anyway. Twin1 is here and I have left DGD downstairs with her to do breakfast. Was going to relax and watch GMTV and then I realised I havent got a TV in my bedroom anymore! Ah well.

Time to get moving soon, and greet the day properly. But I am so tired.
I still am having fitful sleep, and cannot get EXBF off of my mind. He is niggling at the back of my mind all the time, and the minute I lay down, dam the man, there he is at the front of it!
I keep wanting to text, or email, or ring. But I must remember it was he that broke it off, and he that walked away from us.
He doesnt want us, not the other way around.!

God will I ever get used to this? Well I suppose of course I will, but not any time soon unfortunately! Doesnt help that I have his photo beside the bed, and in the bathroom, etc .
I think I may have to put them in a drawer to stop reminding me of him, and parcel up his few belongings, and send them back to him so I dont have to look at them everyday. Seems to dam final, and thats not what I had wanted at all.
Oh why did I have to fall so dam heavily for the man!:(

Savvy_sewing

LAC review over.
all though we sat in a more informal room, the chairwoman was decisive etc and asking the Social workers for certain reports etc that were still outstanding.
The upshot is that I must now seek legal advice, as they will not let me continue to Foster on a long term basis. (financially lead of course) and that I must go for either Residency order or Guardinaship. The local authority have decided that DGD cannot be returned to mum, and if I was not prepared to take her on, or anyone else in the family, then they would be looking to have her adopted. I cannot do that. That would break my heart to loose her from the family. So I am backed into a corner really.
I said that the reasons why I was not going for the permanant, apart from hoping that mum could have had her, was the financial situation.
I have been promised that they will do a financial assessment of my situation, and will do a comparison, etc. That the fostering team will be finished part one of my assessment by the 18th August. Then they have 3 months to finish part two. They will be putting me up then for the guardianship etc, and the council will fund my legal fees. I have to get my lawyer on board now.
I was a little upset at the fact that it has to be done so formally. I suppose I am scared of the future, however there was no option to put her up for adoption. She needs her family, and we are going to all just have to rally around and do what ever it takes to keep her with us.
This does not bode well for the boys. I fear. But I will worry about that another day.

I have to now go through my financial situation and do a budget form for them. (Well thats quite easy, I can do budgets in my sleep, but sticking to them, well that is not quite so easy is it?)
Twin1 has gone home. I have asked her how she feels and she says that she is ok. But I am not so sure.
She now knows that they do not intend her to have her daughter back.

They are persuing the funding for nursery. Which I know about from yesterday. Nursery have rung and said that its still fine for DGD to attend on Tuesday, even if there is a delay in paying them. Fingers crossed they will not wait too long to pay the bill though. I dont want any last minute changes, although I have budgeted for August, and do have the money sitting waiting in the account. (would like it to go towards the car insurance that is looming, and I seem to have spent more in Mr T then I expected again this week. Not paying attention to my shopping thats the problem. too much on my mind.! Opps

I have a stinking headache, and have taken my extra paracetamol, and brought my cup of tea up to my room.
DGD ran rings around DS and finally said she was tired about 5 mins before I came home. So she is sleeping. That now messes up the evening routine, but for once I am not too worried as I could do with a little rest now. So I will give her till 6 and then wake her up. Aim to get her back in bed for 9pm. Bit late but still give me time to get an early night too.
I really dont feel 100%, very tired, and my head feels like it weighs in rather heaver then it normally is. I must have had my head further forward then I do normally. !
Spoons, mmm think I used them up. Mind you I did do some sewing this morning. alas it was not recycling, I couldnt resist some fabric off of one of the websites that I was buying the halloween ribbon for my bunting. I bought a couple of metress of it, (£2.48 a metre) and so I made an apron for DGD just before lunch.
I have plenty of fabric left to make other things though. maybe even make a matching apron for me!.

right tea is nearly finished, time to rest myself while I can.

Still nothing from BF. so it really must be EXBF. Still so gutted and lost without contact from him, etc etc I know, cannot rewind the clock, but I wish I could in a way, but then again, at least I know that he is not looking for the same things as I am. Pity. Dam the man, I do love him so bloody much!.

icelandic_queen

Can't give any advice Mooloo except to say be kind to yourself in the next few days. Let things sink in and take it from there. Perhaps you could concentrate on your sewing, have you thought of making some aprons for little people for your stall?

candygirl

Mooloo sending you massive (((huggles))) hun, and be kind to yourself right now:A

Errata

Some info on what LA money should be made to available to you if you settle for Guardianship here http://www.fostering.net/news/2010/landmark-ruling-special-guardianship-allowances

jackieglasgow

Och Mooloo, I am having a wee cry for you right now. Look after yourself. XXX

gizmo111

LAC review over.
all though we sat in a more informal room, the chairwoman was decisive etc and asking the Social workers for certain reports etc that were still outstanding.
The upshot is that I must now seek legal advice, as they will not let me continue to Foster on a long term basis. (financially lead of course) and that I must go for either Residency order or Guardinaship. The local authority have decided that DGD cannot be returned to mum, and if I was not prepared to take her on, or anyone else in the family, then they would be looking to have her adopted. I cannot do that. That would break my heart to loose her from the family. So I am backed into a corner really.
I said that the reasons why I was not going for the permanant, apart from hoping that mum could have had her, was the financial situation.
I have been promised that they will do a financial assessment of my situation, and will do a comparison, etc. That the fostering team will be finished part one of my assessment by the 18th August. Then they have 3 months to finish part two. They will be putting me up then for the guardianship etc, and the council will fund my legal fees. I have to get my lawyer on board now.
I was a little upset at the fact that it has to be done so formally. I suppose I am scared of the future, however there was no option to put her up for adoption. She needs her family, and we are going to all just have to rally around and do what ever it takes to keep her with us.
This does not bode well for the boys. I fear. But I will worry about that another day.

Hi

I guessed a few pages back that something like this would happen. First the Local Authority have no legal order on this child and neither does the reviewing manager, she cannot order anyone to do anything least of all a court all she can do is make recommendations in the interest of the child, although some do think they are 'the law'
If they pursue the adoption option then they will have to issue proceedings and give the court and the guardian extremely good reasons why they cannot pursue a home for DGD with you - they really don't have any at the moment. The court process can go on for around a year, but twin1 solicitor will ask for physcological assessments and a proper residential assessment which can extend this time scale by many months. The local authority simply cannot go ahead and get her adopted without considering all options, particulary on the grounds of finance.
AFTER ALL THESE MONTHS THEY HAVEN'T EVEN ISSUED CARE PROCEEDINGS - Instead they have relied on goodwill from the family.
Insist that the Reg 38 Fostering assessment continues - it is their legal obligation in any event.
Get some good legal advice - make sure it is a solicitor that deals in care proceedings not just family law.
Tell the LA to stick their offer of funding your legal fees - you are entitled to public funding as you are the carer of the child.

They are trying to bully you into what they want. They won't get away with it and will find themselves accountable in court.

So in short - bring it on - we're waiting!

Take Care