A new start for Mooloo

minimoneysaver

It isn't nec'y the end of the road for you. You could always wait until things settle down and try internet dating!

Hardup_Hester

Let him go, don't try to remain friends, he obviously is selfish & doesn't value you as he should, you will find someone who is worthy of you. And yes, do try internet dating I have 3 or 4 friends who have married in the last few years after finding someone online.
Hugs Hester

Savvy_sewing

Hardup_Hester wrote: »

Let him go, don't try to remain friends, he obviously is selfish & doesn't value you as he should, you will find someone who is worthy of you. And yes, do try internet dating & have 3 or 4 friends who have married in the last few years after finding someone online.
Hugs Hester

I think I will leave the idea of dating to a distant future, hurt too much.
I seem to be a disaster when it comes to relationships.
Funny but he will be the only one of the men in my life, that I know I will struggle to be friends with. Possibly becuase I am not "over" him yet.

Anyway. Yesterday was a low day. The diary took one hell of a bashing. 14 pages of the exercise book I am using.

Eventually I went to bed, just after 9pm exhausted. (The pjamas nearly done, but made the top a little too small, so had to cut the centre, will have to put in some button plaques. But thats not hard to do, just my arm had done enough, and my head had taken enough.
Unfortunately at 10.30 I was woken with a text, and for the first time I really got angry,. I told him to stop being polite and texting me, morning and night, and only text me when he knew what he wanted. (But I will not hold my breathe, as after 6 years if he doesnt know what he wants, he never will).
I of course then spent hours tossing around and not sleeping as he was on my mind all over again!.

Really is in my every waking thought, and sleeping ones. Dam the man.

Right, I cannot mope about today. I will not hear from him. I must not text him. I must move on.
Its raining here, so the plans to get out in the garden, hang out the washing, and let DGD play with her ball up in the neighbours top garden has gone out the window. Perhaps it will clear up later.?

I shall try and ddrum up the enthusiasm to tackle the housework, that has crept up behind me, and is about to rear its ugly head and make me work!

Savvy_sewing

Well the plans of mice and men! Twin2 rang me at 9.30 saying they didnt have the money for the bus, but I was going to say SEP then decided that actually as DS was here, I could leave DGD with him, escape the confines of the house, and nip to Mr T to get my shopping without having to drag DGD with me, so I went to pick them up and drop them in town. It also meant that I could get petrol there as it gets me points on my clubcard.

SS have just been on the phone. They are definitely going for a longterm care plan with me, as they have reviewed things and will not be aiming at reuniting Mum and Daughter. Sad day. But was enevitable now.
Taking DS to Towcester, so am off out again now.
This time have to take DGD with me, and think she will probably sleep, so that will mean no rest for me later.
Oh well, thats the price I have to pay for being Mum I suppose.

Still feel lost on a personal front though.!

Savvy_sewing

I just wrote a long bit to put on the thread, and for the first time, i read it back, and thought it just didnt make sense so I deleted it.
I am tired, and have to pace myself. We have managed to go out into the garden for a few minutes football, in the top of next doors garden, and a little bit of weeding. Weve tasted the peas, and carrots, and found black and orange catapillars by the cabbages.
Now its time for a rest again.
I think it will be an early night for us, (or I hope so),. since DGD wouldnt go down for a sleep at lunchtime afterall.

SuziQ

I'm sorry things are upside down again for you, Mooloo. I have learned, over the last 2 years or more, that sometimes you are just better off relying on yourself and enjoying your own (and your childrens) company. Relationships take a lot of time and nurturing, which I don't think you have been in a position to do (me neither!) You need a time to lick your wounds, but only allow yourself a limited period to do so, then move on. Consider yourself the amazing tigger-woman- every time you get knocked down, you bounce right back! You are obviously not due a quiet life any time soon, but just conserve whatever energy you have and look to the future-you are still relatively young and who knows what life has for you in years to come? In the mean time you have to try to look after yourself better and not over do things as you are prone to do. I apologise if you have seen this before, but at times over the last couple of years, I have read this to try to keep me from over doing things and endangering my health

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/personal-essays/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/

I will keep you in my prayers.

Savvy_sewing

SuziQ wrote: »

I'm sorry things are upside down again for you, Mooloo. I have learned, over the last 2 years or more, that sometimes you are just better off relying on yourself and enjoying your own (and your childrens) company. Relationships take a lot of time and nurturing, which I don't think you have been in a position to do (me neither!) You need a time to lick your wounds, but only allow yourself a limited period to do so, then move on. Consider yourself the amazing tigger-woman- every time you get knocked down, you bounce right back! You are obviously not due a quiet life any time soon, but just conserve whatever energy you have and look to the future-you are still relatively young and who knows what life has for you in years to come? In the mean time you have to try to look after yourself better and not over do things as you are prone to do. I apologise if you have seen this before, but at times over the last couple of years, I have read this to try to keep me from over doing things and endangering my health

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/personal-essays/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/

I will keep you in my prayers.

Well I have taken the time out to re read that. Properly and think about it better. I do use up my spoons too fast often. I dont like to let those around me see that I struggle, although they eventually do.
But today, I feel I achieved, so probably tomorrow I will have a couple of spoons less afterall. But at least DGD is in Nursery and i am having my second free hairdo. So I will have lovely curly locks for an hour or two, before my hair decides to go back to its long lank ways.
There is only one load of washing left to do. Most of it is dry or nearly dry, and hanging in the utility to finish off. (thats an area between the bathroom and the kitchen, which is really just a few feet with the fridge, washingmachine, tumbledryer and the kitchen cupboard overspill).
As it rained again I didnt get the garden done, but I have finally managed to blitz the sittingroom. (all but the table that has the sewing I want to finish on it).
I did the windowsills, the fireplace, the bookcase, etc tc. Thats down to a nudge with the fly lady thread.

But now, I am tired and I have decided that its time for me to go to bed.
Hopefully no one will desturb me tonight. Usually DGD sleeps through, DS is staying at his sisters.

Thanks all for getting me through one more day.
Lets hope that I sleep better too.

Night all.

Jo4

I hope you sleep well tonight, I can't at the moment because I have to go to the hospital in the morning for a biopsy. :eek:

Savvy_sewing

Jo4 wrote: »

I hope you sleep well tonight, I can't at the moment because I have to go to the hospital in the morning for a biopsy. :eek:

Oh Jo, I hope that all goes well.
No I didnt sleep very well, for some reason I woke up every two hours, and thats literal!
Got up at 6am with my teasmade and have been pottering very quietly to get myself up and dressed without waking DGD, but now its time to get her up. Unusually she is still asleep. We are off to nursery this morning and I am off to town for another stint at my modeling career... haha. Having my hair done by a student at T & G.
Then perhaps a wonder around the charity shops if I have any time left on the car park ticket afterwards.
This afternoon I aim to come back home and sew.
Want to finish DGD's Pj's and start on some new things to put on the stall or there wont be a stall this weekend! Cannot go with the same things again, as all the people are the same people. The village is really too small to be doing much trade at the moment, but perhaps nearer christmas etc it might be possible. But its good practise.
I have ordered some halloween ribbon, ready to make some black and orange bunting for then. (Unfortunately I am not going to be able to find that in the recycle section very often. Although I will keep my eyes peeled!.)
Have looked at the bank balance, and moved money into the savings account, and the Nursery fees account.
For once in my life I have £100 in instant Saver, and £140 ready for her fees. (£136 due for next session). So I am pleased with myself.
Still need to gather the car insurance funds together, thats around £200 by the 18th August. But think that I will manage it. Just.

right better wake up tuttifruity. Granny has a busy day ahead.,
Dont look back, look forward, and keep on walking!!:rotfl::rotfl:

Jo4

Thanks! Enjoy your modelling!