A new start for Mooloo

tired_mum

Glad the meeting went as well as it could what did they say re twin 2 not bothering to come or see the boys? Its a shame they have been moved for your sake but i am sure they are being well looked after . The other day you said about biggest changing her plans for America it seems to me that she just wants to help you and feels a sense of responsibility towards her but doesnt want parentel responsibility if you see what I mean
Did the health visitor not see how well Twin 1 was getting on with her DD?

floss2

Mooloo, it looks as though someone with a bit of clout may be on your side - at least in relation to the official paperwork & agreements.

Maybe Biggest has seen what all the strain of looking after DGD has done to you and is looking at what may be "for the best" in the the long term for the whole family...? That doesn't mean that I think it is best, just that she may be thinking of what she has seen you and her sisters go through to try to manage to keep the family together?

I am sure we can all suggest ways to help you get all your papers organised, can I suggest that you don't use my way - shove it all in a heap and deal with it every 3 months or so?!

queen_of_string

I like your method Floss :-)

floss2

TBH, it only works because we don't have any kids / grandkids to help me tidy up and I don't pay any of the household bills (see, there's a tip - move into your OH's house and all the bills are in their name! ) so there isn't a huge amount of post for me

Molly41

Sorry to hear they have moved the boys. It must have been really difficult for you. Im off to my work meeting soon - so wont be around until later. Feel really sad today as my job as a midwife is to be terminated (what a horrid word to use but thats official) due to ill health. Will catch up later. Hugs x

Savvy_sewing

Molly, I understand completely. Hated it when I got my final papers etc.
Still feel strange and its 16 months since, and 19months since I worked! God what a time this has been for an awful lot of us on here!.
United we stand, devided we fall, seems to be quite a truth about it!.
Our various intereactions on here, have helped every one of us in some way.!
Bet Marin L, never expected that when he started these Forums!!

Floss, your method is already my method, open it, stuff it on the dresser, the table or where ever we are and say I will do that later, or next!! But it didnt used to be my way. Years ago, I was organised!!
Even my wardrobe was colour coded, and divided into catagories for summer/winter and all year rounds, and skirts/blouses etc etc Now its not so defined.
ahem!!

The mess is depressing me, but the arm will not manage to do much, and I am feeling overwhelmed by it at the moment.
So It has got to be faced. Somehow.
Got to get ready to take DGD to her Play and Stay with her Mum, and running behind this morning. (Left the washing up to do from Last night for, then the kettle wasnt plugged in after all, then she lost her drinking cup,,,,,,sounds familiar to anyone in a rush....

Errata

Hi Mooloo - short but sweet from me, and you understand why.

Just wanted to pick up on this

"The health visitor was against me leaving DGD with her Mum unsupervised, but the social workers had said that they were happy for her to have her for a few hours. But we now have to define what a few hours are."

In your shoes I woukld want to know WHY that is the HV's view, before anything else is decided/agreed etc. Something tells me it may be quite iimportant for you to understand her reasoning.

Savvy_sewing

She tarred both the girls with the same brush when we where all living in the same house. Becuase something happened, i.e. there was a mess, and that the place was not up to scratch etc, she is not willing to believe that Twin1 can learn from the drastic actions of removing her child from her care. So she things a leopard cannot change its spots. I got quite angry and had to smoother my feelings as I am lumbered with her for the rest of the time we live in her area. (Or she gets another job).!
I am not saying that Twin1 is perfect, or will ever be perfect, but I did point out that we are a family and we are trying to deal with things the best we can.
That I have put DGD first, and that I would not recommend attempting any re union if I honestly thought that it would be setting twin1 up for a fall all over again.
I have been talking long and hard about helping her get assistance, till I am blue in the face.
If I had the resources, I would put in place the care package my daughters need, to be able to still be Mums. But alas I do not.

To me it is quite simple. That they have a home help, some one that will keep them up to date with the housework, daily.
that they have access to the facilities that are needed, Parenting classes, budgetting lessons, or someone does the finances for them if they really cannot do it.
That they have a single person to Mentor them! Not a stream of people who all have opinions but never have the ability to action anything.

But who am I? Just one little fish in the big pond of SS net!. They have over 700 placed children in the county! Did you know that.

Perhaps I should just open a home for young mothers in this situation, and get them to have thier children, with Nursery Nurses, cleaners and family support workers, all under one roof!
With intercoms for help, like old folks homes.
But not a Mother and Baby Unit. A place where they can live as long as necessary, until the child has grown up if necessary.!
Ah in an ideal world eh?

ifonlyitwaseasier

ahh mooloo, if only one of us had won that big lottery last week, i'd be discussing locations and properties with you now

shaz_mum_of__2

Mooloo i think you can ask for a change of health visitors as their have been many changes lately (here at least) i will check with hubby later (school nurse) seems it helps noone if she has a prejudicial attitude and she is the eyes and ears of the panel so uou need to be sure she is honest about things .

Good day here for me catching up with family but my poor cousin has gone into prem labour , she had IVF and is expecting twins , she is only 28wks and the babys only weigh an estimated 2LB each , i hope they can stop the labour her side of the family have had so many losses lately(3 bereavements in as many weeks) i think this may tip them over the edge