A new start for Mooloo

tired_mum

morning Mooloo
Hope you had a good weekend and DTwin 1 and DS are well and giving you some breaks
I know that some are saying that DTwin2 cannot understand about the boys and because of her mental age is behaving the way she does unfortunatly I think that she does know to a degree what she is doing and even with a mental age of 13 (at last assesment) she knows the difference between right and wrong and what is so worrying is she is prepared to drop these children at the first possible moment when a new man comes along with no thought to their welfare or needs this has happened a couple of times now
Twin 1 needs your help and is actively engaging with her daughter and is making progress that is proving some professionals wrong it seems that she wants her DD back and is prepared to work with you this is the person i would be helping I wouldnt walk away from twin 2 but there is only so much you can do unless she buckles down and puts her children first unfortunatly she may have to learn the hard way
Deffinately ask for a new health visitor and explain why

Savvy_sewing

Still feeling totally exhausted and drained.
Not due to the weather, just to all my problems.
Twin1 is sort of helping. Still so much to get our heads around though.
I am struggling to get my act together today.
Twin1 has got to sign on at the jobcentre in Northampton, this morning, so we have to go out. (No buses from my village, and she doesnt have any money left anyway.). I left the buggy in BF's car boot...oops, so we will have to dig out the big old buggy from the shed!.
I have decided to leave twin2 alone. Let her get on with it herself. She obviously doesnt want my help, so I am going to try and concentrate on putting together a plan for Twin1 and to see what we can do to get young mum and daughter reunited.
DS is not really doing anything constructive at all.
But today, I am just going to concentrate on one thing at a time. and keep my todo list handy to add things as I think of them.
Right got to go.

gizmo111

Mooloo wrote: »

Hello, the meeting that I went to was supposed to be about how the fostering of DGD was getting on.
She is still legally under her mother as far as I can say. All we are doing and have done is totally voluntary.
The care Plan is for DGD. As there actually has never been one.
The chair woman gave SS 8 weeks to come up with plan for the next meeting.
She is not sure that the assessment that SS are working on, was actually the right assessment to be making the judgements that they did.
Basically it looks like we will be starting from square one, and meanwhile I have DGD until we work it all out. (or not).

Hi Mooloo,

The meeting you had would have been a LAC Review - due within 4 weeks of the child being placed then within a further 3 months and then 6 monthly. This is because the first few weeks tend to be the most significantly difficult for children being away from home and when plans are made (but not set in stone).
Your DGD will be placed with you under S20 of the Children Act which is a voluntary arrangement and what we always prefer parents to do if possible. Your daughter continues to have PR for her child. This is an alternative to court care proceedings - but your DGD is still looked after by the local authority and as such in care.
The assessment on you is Reg 38 of the fostering regulations and has to be done to protect the child and ensure you are a suitable person - I have concerns with your health how this will pan out for you - but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
This is the sort of assessment that twin 1 should be having http://www.serendipitydevon.com/home.html and her solicitor needs to ask for one.
Twin2 - theres not a lot you can do at the moment just wait and make sure you have reasonable contact with the boys.

Savvy_sewing

gizmo111 wrote: »

Hi Mooloo,

The meeting you had would have been a LAC Review - due within 4 weeks of the child being placed then within a further 3 months and then 6 monthly. This is what the Chair lady said at the meeting. With a look of dispair at the social worker next to her. Our outward going social worker. This is because the first few weeks tend to be the most significantly difficult for children being away from home and when plans are made (but not set in stone).
Your DGD will be placed with you under S20 of the Children Act which is a voluntary arrangement and what we always prefer parents to do if possible. This too is now my understanding, Your daughter continues to have PR for her child. This is an alternative to court care proceedings - but your DGD is still looked after by the local authority and as such in care.
The assessment on you is Reg 38 of the fostering regulations and has to be done to protect the child and ensure you are a suitable person - I have concerns with your health how this will pan out for you - but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. What kind of things do they assess me on? that is my biggest worry. As I have been calling for help due to my health issues, I fear they may decide against me, and after 6 months now, i fear that they would also whisk her off into care, as they have the boys, especially now that they have transfered her social workers to the same team as twin2.
This is the sort of assessment that twin 1 should be having http://www.serendipitydevon.com/home.html and her solicitor needs to ask for one.I think that this is what Westwood House was, and they did the two day assessment on Twin1 and the outcome of those two days has been the reason why we are not sure if Mum can or cannot have a plan to return DGD to her. My BF has suggested i read through this, and highlight, comment or request a review etc as necessary. To see if we can have another assessment, or a fairer one.
Twin2 - theres not a lot you can do at the moment just wait and make sure you have reasonable contact with the boys.

Twin 2 has removed herself from the area, has not returned, and at this moment, I cannot continue to worry or work on her behalf. I have to resign myself to knowing that the boys hopefully have a good foster carer and are safe. Then I will arrange Grandparents access etc for me and access for DGD to still see her cousins. But at the moment I cannot look at the picture for twin2 as its making me stressed out, and with such a high blood pressure I am going to have to work on getting my blood pressure back down!.
Have to go now, off to collect the cabinbed for DGD with my Ex Husband (dont go in his company for over 15 years! and not looking forward to it now either.)

shaz_mum_of__2

Just a quickie to say my cousin is better they have managed to stop the labour , she is on bed rest in hospital but hoping to go home soon although this means a flight from the mainland to the island she lives on, so not sure it will happen but alls well at least

Wish i could visit her ,she was a big help to me when my youngest was born (shes 8 yrs younger than me) she will be a fab mum as she is the " natural earth mother" type we all wish we were!!

Thanks for all the well wishes and PM's of support

gizmo111

What kind of things do they assess me on? that is my biggest worry. As I have been calling for help due to my health issues, I fear they may decide against me, and after 6 months now, i fear that they would also whisk her off into care, as they have the boys, especially now that they have transfered her social workers to the same team as twin2.

At the moment they cannot take her into foster care without either your daughter's agreement or a court order.
The assessment is quite thorough and includes health, your history as a parent, commitment to your GD, and criminal convictions. You will be asked for 3 references, 2 will be contacted and 1 will be interviewed. Your GP will be approached and asked for his opinion on your ability to care for the child. If it comes out that you do not meet the fostering regs then there are alternatives, such as residency or special guardianship or you cna ask for an independent assessment, but don't worryu about that until you have the medical opinion.

A residential assessment is usually commissioned for 6-12 weeks not 2 days, unless it is immediately clear that the child can never be returrned to the parent. It sounds like a viability study was done not a full assessment - what was the recommendation at the end of the report?

Savvy_sewing

Good evening/night
its been a Bl00dy monday.
I was on the go all day. I didnt stop until after 8-30pm
The car had to have 4 new tyres. £220 gone.
The cabin bed is up, but its not right. the fact that it has been taken apart again, becuase of this its not as stable as I would like, and i will need to get it sorted urgently. As there is no room in the bedroom for the cot too.
Then the drastic thing of the day. The handbrake has snapped/ come undone, or what ever it was. but I now dont have a handbrake, and as the car is an automatic, then I cannot even leave it in gear. Its just getting worse and worse
the social worker for Twin2 rang me, she has still not been intouch with them, and so I am yet again rearranging my time to see the boys instead of the mum.
Twin2 has spoken to her brother but not me, and she has apparantly gone from a broken ankle to a torn ligament and is now on crutches and she cannot come home. Someone from here has offered to go and collect her on friday, a day to late to see the boys.
I am fed up, fuming and scared of the next axe to drop.

Now I am going to have a glass of wine, dispite it being a monday, and relax.

Tomorrow is coffee shop, and for once I hope we manage that. But I also need to get my car to a garage.
Also the kids to town.
I also need to blitz as the more I want things sorted the worse it has got. My home is a complete and utter sabotage mess!

crutches

Oh Mooloo. I have no words for you,just hugs

Savvy_sewing

Well lets hope that today will be a better day!.
Trying to get DS and twin1 to get up and moving.
DGD has already thrown the plastic chair we use in the frontroom for her, across the room as her Mum had coco pops and she had sp K. with banana.! so we have already had a spot on the naughty step!
As Ds is asleep on the reclyner chair in the sitting room we are cramped up on the sofa.! Both of us, (twin1 and I), are on our laptops ! oops. Not a good example to DGD. Better sign off.

Time to gird my loins and attach the ememy! (the mess!).

What ever the day brings today? Who knows but its got to be better then yesterday.

Savvy_sewing

I fear that my nerves are getting the better of me.!
I am trying to get my equilibriam sorted out, but I do not think that I am succeeding at the moment.
I did go to the coffee stop in the village hall, I took DGD with me, as Mum and DS were supposed to be sorting things out. They did a few things, but the dining area is still a complete mess.
They both were expecting to go straight back to Town and as DGD was nearly due her sleep, i reluctantly decided that they were adding to my stress levels and that I would just be as well to take them back! so I did.
Unfortunately DGD fell asleep on the way back, and now she will not have her propper sleep, as 5 minutes in the car she reckons thats all the sleep she is having. Unfortunately for me, that means that I will not get the rest now that I wanted.
She is currently playing on the xylaphone.
The handbrake of the car meant that I cannot park up and go shopping etc etc as the car will just roll away. So its parked up in the garage and I will have to wait until the Garage come to collect it tomorrow. so I will not be going anywhere tomorrow.!
I am not sure if I will get it back intime to go and see the boys on Thursday.

Twin2 has been intouch with her brother, but not me, and I am hurting quite a lot about her and her situation.

So I need to try harder, get sorted, relax better, get the blood pressure down, and try to just deal with one day at a time.!!