A new start for Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

fruit-loop wrote: »

Hi Mooloo, I'm a very long time lurker of your threads. I have never posted as I've never had any different advice to anyone else.

I still don't have advice but wanted to let you know there are lots of people on here rooting for you to overcome all of your problems.

I'm so sorry for the breakdown of your relationship but it may be for the best. He has never been of much support has he? :cool:

I wish you lived nearer as I'm just learning to sew and you sound like the perfect teacher for me!:D Maybe you could do cyber lessons lol!;)

Thanks for your support. I am so appeciative of the network of friends, cyber or not, that I have found since I started on MSE.

I think that I will push for my sewing. That will keep me going, when I think that times are tough. The family obviously take up a lot of my time anyway, it is going to be the weekends that are difficult, as I have always tried to make time for him, weekends and holidays. But it has got worse over the last few years, harder and harder to keep it up. well nowI will not have too.

My daughter has been, with her chap, brought DGD back, and she was tired s she has been up in bed since thy arrived.

Ive a cosy fire going now, just going to make myself another cup of tea.

There may be problems ahead.
DS told me that twin2 was on her way to Oxford. Well it seems that she is there, he is also there,and now that the kids are there too!. As I thought.
She didnt tell me as she didnt want me to know. And low and behold the father of DGS1 has also "joined" them.

So those children are unprotected,with the two fathers that are subject to a child protection plan! What am I supposed to do about that?
Heaven help them.
The BF of twin2 just told me all the latest information.
I have told him, that as they have chosen to go that way, I am out of it!.
I will not go and collect her, and if they end up getting arrested for fighting, (If it breaks out) I am not going to bail them out.
They are on thier own.
When/if social services find out about this, then I fear that she will loose those children. She has not thought about the babies, she has thought about herself.

Did I really need this as well?

thorsoak

I'm so sorry to read this last blow to your hopes and plans Mooloo - the title of this thread was A new start for Mooloo - maybe this is where your new start really happens!

You are a strong woman - and it would not appear from your threads that the BF has been of much support to you - you will survive this, I am certain.

You have friends here who are fully behind you.

Savvy_sewing

Ok, I think at the moment I am really raw, but I will survive somehow.

At least I have my parents at the moment.

I will find it hard at first. But I am determind to get through all of this. I just wish it had never had to come to this, especially with all that is going on.

I NEED A HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thorsoak

Mooloo - did you at some stage say that your parents have a property in France? Could you go there for a couple of weeks - on your own?????

Savvy_sewing

Hi, no my parents tour france, my brother is rebuilding a house out there, and my sister has a house with her chap. But she has family over at the moment, and other things. Its a tempting thought, but I really cannot afford it at the moment. But I will take some me time as soon as DGD is sorted out.
Biggest of Mooloo's is working towards taking her on, so I am sure that there is an end in site, and a bit of metime available then. Until then I will just have to get on with it all!

Savvy_sewing

As pointed out, this was supposed to be a new start! Another chapter it certainly has been.
My world seems to be falling apart around my feet at the moment. I feel so low. I am angry, I am hurt, I am trying to be positive.
DGD is up, so the tears have had to stop. She is watching childrens tv and playing with her etchasketch at the moment.
Well I suppose I better think positively about a new start! This time, it will be a solo flying lesson then!
But oh its so hard.! nearly 6 years!! Last time I saw him, at the weekend it was all lovely! What a mask he must have bee wearing. How blind must I have been! Merrily doing everything I could each weekend to get to see him. I suppose I just have been to busy to see this coming. I really thought dispite our hiccups we were the "always and forever"
i should have know that that is just words on paper, and that it doesnt mean anything in the end. Without trust then there is just empty words on a card, in a text, and in a dream!

I am trying to think of the good things. That life will be better one day. That the children will grow up and that I will find a level to deal with my health problems, and will get myself work, proper work, proper network of friends, and the life that everyone deserves.!

I look foreward to the times when I will not have to worry about money, that I will not be threatened by loosing my home again.
I look foreward to Social Services realising that the family need their "Duty of Care" and that I have done my duty.
But untl then, here I am, in a state of shock, with my world collapsed around me.
I would say it couldnt get any worse, but to be honest with twin2 doing what she has done today, I fear that it is about to get even worse.

I think I just hit burnt out mode! I cannot see me getting over this in a matter of days,. Weeks or even years! I am too tired for all this.
Its just come to me at the wrong time hasnt it. Its the last straw.
I am not sure all the cups of tea in china are going to help me at the moment.
If I was already digging deep into my boots before, where is the strength for all this going to come from.?

Molly41

Hi Mooloo,
When bad things happen its like you stand still. The world continues around you and its hard to comprehend. Its those day to day routine things...like your grand daughter playing with her toys, cups of teas, sewing that fill the minutes, that fill the hours, then the days and the months. Gradually you will get your equilibrium back. This time will pass. Life will get better and easier. I tell myself this all the time. Sometimes its not about strength...its about hope. Sometimes its not about fighting...its about accepting. The courage to wake up the next morning and start all over with those routines that gradually fill your days. One day you will wake up and it will be better.

I dont know what to say about Twin 2. Silly girl - She must be desperate to see her BF. I hope the babes are ok. Good to hear your son is in contact today and is getting his situation sorted. That must be a huge relief. x

Savvy_sewing

Yes DS getting in touch has been a big relief.
Twin2 has annoyed me intensely. I hope she gets that last bus back, as its foul weather and she cannot afford to have those kids out late at night etc.

Keeping going seems awful at the moment. Cos why do we keep going, when its all so yuk.?

Errata

Tough it out - you, and us, keep going because we can. Those that can't, don't.

It's a great shame Twin2 is putting her needs before the safety of the children, but I do understand that sometimes she just doesn't 'get it'. Does the meaning of child protection need to be explained to her better and more clearly in ways that she can understand and pay heed to ? This is something SS should do if they want to support her and the children.

Savvy_sewing

I am not sure what she does and doesnt understand at times. she just doesnt think and can only concentrate on one thing. I fear the worst now. If she is not on a bus back by now, there are no more buses!.
she chose to ignore me today, so she knows she is doing wrong thats for sure.
Her BF and my son told me what she was upto.
Part of me wishes that they hadnt, but then if there is a problem after all this, i will probably need to have known afterall.

I really am troubled at the moment. I cant stop thinking about BF, and of course the twins. I am lurching from one disaster to the other, and wish to God, that for once all of this terrible times were over.
But its just beginning by the looks of things. When i thought things could not be any worse, they are.!

sorry I am feeling rock bottom at the moment. Lost my bounce, probably for today anyway. Tomorrow will be the worst, as I am usually with BF on a Sunday morning at least. One or others places.