A new start for Mooloo

Molly41

Hugs from me too xx

Savvy_sewing

Maybe its a miracle we lasted as long as we did. We are very different types of people in the end afterall. And lets face it, nobody in their right mind would be deliberately getting involved with me, with all i have to put up with. Its dificult to have a relationship when the kids are on the beck and call all the time.
If he knew all this was going to happen I doubt he would ever have picked up with me.
The thing that hurts me the most is that he obviously doesnt believe I love him. Becuase if he had believed that then he would have known that the thought of wanting any other relationship would have been so out of the question. Dispite both of our faults, I thought that we loved each other, and were working around them as best as we fould. I wasnt thrilled at some of the things that he did, as he wasnt of mine, but that is, I thought normal about people. I knew it was becuase of my family that he kept his distance at times, but now I think perhaps there was this mistrust again. In the beginning he was jelous of me talking to anyman, but I really thought that he had got over that. Obviously not.

The comments about finding someone else, well, I won't be looking. Lets face it, I have enough to deal with at the moment, and I am not at my best, health or wealth wise, so I will be addressing my life differently, but I will know that I dont have to squeese in, going to oxford, at the weekends. Except when I want to see my son. Perhaps I will just stay in a travel lodge on those occasions.
I may even get to see more of my family and friends, as I wont be tied up to the weekends away.
But on the other foot, I felt I existed just for the times that we were together, and cherished that time. I was hoping that one day, my family would not need me quite so much, and time with BF would be the future!.

at least the sittingroom is now done. The washing started, and the slowcooker is on.
DGD will be back soon, and I will be pre occupied with her for a while, until shes in bed anyway.
Tomorrow, when she is asleep etc, I will be free to sew. That new handbag for my Mum can be made.

Errata

Just do what you fancy doing and what you absolutely need to do for the next few days. Big emotional shocks very often give us what I call 'kaleidoscope head' - concentration gone, unable to settle, don't know what to do next, thoughts all over the place etc. So take it easy on yourself. Things will soon start settling into place and you'll be able to see the wood for the trees and the way forward.

Savvy_sewing

Errata wrote: »

Just do what you fancy doing and what you absolutely need to do for the next few days. Big emotional shocks very often give us what I call 'kaleidoscope head' - concentration gone, unable to settle, don't know what to do next, thoughts all over the place etc. So take it easy on yourself. Things will soon start settling into place and you'll be able to see the wood for the trees and the way forward.

To be honest at the moment, I can see the wood for the trees. I see I have been a fool to give my heart to someone who doesnt trust me, who looks to twist everything I do or do not say, into an excuse, and a li, to think that I have ulterior motives from not telling him something. Or forgetting about things by the time I do see him. there is so much going on in my life, its difficult to remember what day it is, never mind if something I did matter of factly is atually going to be taken out of context and used as a weapon towards me. To dig a ditch between us, when there was never anything there in the first place.
Just a hectic life, and a woman who is used to having to do everything on her own, for the previous 40 odd years of her life.!
I was made to be independant, when I was sent to boarding school at the age of 9. Toughen up, be in control, and not having the family close enough to confide, or discuss things with. I had to make decisions on my own. It was not meant to be to distance myself or exclude anyone. I am not devious. I am a mother of 4, who needed me. I adapted to try to care for them, and to have a life.
I have/sorry I had friends before I met my BF, but only one survived as I lost touch, any men in my life were vetoed. My phone was gone through. As was my diaries in the beginning.
I was acused of affairs in the beginning.
I was picked on for talking to a man when I was on holiday, and he had gone to the loo.
The signs were all there really werent they.?
There never could be that happy ever after together, as he believed I had alterior motives for every action I had.
What a fool I am to have stayed so long. To have tried to be the person he wanted me to be.

Well I have enough on my plate to fill my life. The weekends will be different granted, but I can use the time alone when DGD has gone, to relax. To sew, to read. To do my garden.
There will be plenty to fill my days. Thats for sure.

Yes I am gutted, pretty devistated, as the fact that I am going to teach a man to sew, was the last nail in the coffin of a very one sided relationship really. Only someone with a major problem would think that I was looking for someone else, and was using sewing lessons as a smoke screeen.

The gentleman concerned, I am sure will be horrified that my BF has done this, and now he will offer to give up his lessons. Well I am not going to give up my teaching dreams.
I have the opportunity to get myself back to work. That should be a good thing.
I am looking into premises to rent to teach, with the ideas of classes.
I am serious that I want to be financially independant again.
Well my BF can spend the summer sailing with his boat, and driving his little kit car around the countryside. He still has all his friends, that he didnt give up on for me.
He has his children, he has his job, his health and his house. so he will be fine.

I hope he is hurting just as much as I am, but I doubt it, because he obviously doesnt know what its like to be truely in love with someone, warts and all.

I see the future, I see me getting on. and I will survve.

lolababy

Hi Mooloo Im sorry to hear that your relationship has broken down. Im sure that as time goes by you will find how much of a hold this man had on your life.Men like to think that women can not cope without them.
At the end of the day your a strong intelligent woman who has proved that she can cope with the biggest of situations. Look at this as a new start and you dont have to explain your actions to anyone.

grandma247

:grouphug: lots of hugs for you Mooloo.

Errata

He probably isn't hurt and from what you've posted it sounds like his boat hasn't got all its oars in the water. If you get any messages from him on your phone, delete them before you read them because it sounds like they won't be worth reading.
Of course you'll survive, and survive damn well :A

rolo-polo1965

Mooloo

I am so sorry for what your bf has done. Try and keep your chin up. You are the important one. You need to think of your self!

Look after your self!

Savvy_sewing

Well on a completely different note, my son has just been intouch. He is fine and he has got his money through. So he can now pay his way, where he is.

Biggest of Mooloo is late bringing DGD back, hope she is OK. Sure she will be.

Twin1 has gone to Towcester to see one of her friends for the weekend.
Twin2 apparantly has gone on the Bus to Oxford to see her BF! DS just told me. I am worried about that, as i think its a bit foolish, and am not sure if she has takenthe kids with her. I will no doubt find out soon. But as she has not been in touch with me, I fear she has done something silly.

I wont be going to Oxford, so if she thought I would be able to bring her back then she is very mistaken.
Oh a car, think DGD is back.

fruit-loop

Hi Mooloo, I'm a very long time lurker of your threads. I have never posted as I've never had any different advice to anyone else.

I still don't have advice but wanted to let you know there are lots of people on here rooting for you to overcome all of your problems.

I'm so sorry for the breakdown of your relationship but it may be for the best. He has never been of much support has he? :cool:

I wish you lived nearer as I'm just learning to sew and you sound like the perfect teacher for me!:D Maybe you could do cyber lessons lol!;)