A new start for Mooloo

candygirl

Go Mooloo:j:j:j:T:T:TI am buzzing that you are kickin a ss at last, and it can only make you feel better even if nothing much changes:DRemember you are entitled to a life too, I keep telling myself the same thing;):D

mardatha

Mooloo pet - as long as you're there, kids will always dump stuff on you. You have to make a hard decision to step back and stay back - and stick to it, and then they will gradually realise that they need stand on their own feet. If you hold them up forever then they will never stand unsupported, sooner or later you need walk away and let them fall....so they can pick themselves up again. It's not easy but it works out better in the end. xxx

Savvy_sewing

mardatha wrote: »

Mooloo pet - as long as you're there, kids will always dump stuff on you. You have to make a hard decision to step back and stay back - and stick to it, and then they will gradually realise that they need stand on their own feet. If you hold them up forever then they will never stand unsupported, sooner or later you need walk away and let them fall....so they can pick themselves up again. It's not easy but it works out better in the end. xxx

Mardatha, I wish that it was that simple.
The girls both left home, and I let them "learn", it was Social Services that sent them back to live with me when they became pregnant, and the hostels they were living in, said that they could not cope alone.
Ever since the summer of 2007 I have been fighting for the help and the support work that I believe is thier right too.! But so far, I am in the mess that I am in becuase the system doesn't have the kind of care in the community that is needed for them.
If they were more "disabled" then there are ways of helping them.
Not to be rude to the social services but the "boss" of Twin1's situation has support to be able to do his job he has an assistant, as he walks with sticks and has very little sight. He even has a special machine so that he can take notes etc, and have documents read etc etc. So that he is able to stay in work.

Well that is good for him, and I applaud the fact that he is still in work. But that is only becuase the system has a person who Shadows him and the equipment to do it.

So what I have been asking for is really basically the same. Someone to Shadow the twins and the equipment to do it.
A carer to call in on them daily, and help them with thier basic needs, and a system where they are assisted to get from a to b, to help them to learn the skills they need etc etc.

But alas it is not anywhere in the "system" to provide a sort of Sheltered Accommodation for young adults that they can have some independance and a home, and yet have the support that is necessary to make sure that they are keeping their children.
I just saw something on the TV about a girl going to Spain to escape the social taking her baby away.! JPerhaps I should have gone to Portugal that year, 2007's holiday, and taken both the mums and DS with me, and not come back!
Alas its one daughter and one grandchild. For me it is two daughters and now 3 children. (Where I hope it stops!).

Right time to make a move, and start to Kick some sand in the faces of those that are not helping me.

Errata

HTH in your conversation today with SS.

Tell them in the strongest possible terms that by asking you to check up on the twin over the weekend they have failed in their duty of care, they have put the twins children at risk by stepping back from their responsibility and telling you to do what they should have done.

Don't take this the wrong way, it's just an example. I'm strongly reminded of the social worker in the recent case of the young girl who was starved to death knocking at the mother's door for half and hour and then walking away when it wasn't answered. In a way, that's what SS have done this weekend past with the twin.
As always, best wishes.

Savvy_sewing

1st Call. Citizens advice- Nobody to take my call, try the website for answers to typical questions.
2nd Call. Daventry Social Services. Social worker not in till 12noon. His boss is on annual leave.
3rd Call. Northampton Social Services. Social worker nt in until Tomorrow. Her boss is in a meeting. Left a message to call me back, with information to them as to the content of my call, so they have the information sorted out to return the call.

Installed my old Microsoft Office, as I cannot open the one that came as trial on the laptop.
Now lets see if I can get some letters done. While DGD isplaying and watching a bit of TV. Its difficult to concentrate on her, and the writing, so it will depend on how well she is playing befoe I do anything. Guitar at the moment. What a din!

Savvy_sewing

3rd call reply. Message from secretary, that Mr K, says that A is dealing with my case and I will have to wait for her return to deal with my requests

Savvy_sewing

Email from Biggest of Mooloo.
Wants to know what is happening about DGD, and whats next for her etc, about housing and other things
Have sent a return Email, saying the name and phone number of the social worker, and that she will be in office tommorrow.
I have also told her that I am at the moment dealing with a lot of things, fighting for her other sister, to get her to keep her children. (if possible),
that I am trying to get DGD's Mum housed.
That I am worried about my son, who I havent seen for 2 weeks, and that I am also trying to deal with the possibility that my BF and I are seperating.!
That is enough for anyone to deal with? Surely

Errata

Blimey, what a morning and a frustrating one at that.
I think you have to make it very clear to Biggest that she has to step up to the mark and sort things out herself that need sorting out. It will be helpful for her to understand the practicalities of what she wants to take on and to manage them herself.
It seems to me you are spread too thin already to be able to offer any help to Biggest, and there's a danger that you will start to fail in some areas if you're expected to help her as well. She has a BF, so is supported, and they need to sort things out together if they're to make a go of things.
HTH - written in haste in the hope you don't feel too alone whilst you have MSE.

Savvy_sewing

I think MSE is all that keeps me going, if the truth be knows.
I have had the only real support from all of my friends on here.

Just emailed the MP, Tim Boswell again, and asked why I have had nothing since his letter saying he would speak to the counci, dated 28th January.

Savvy_sewing

I have written another letter to the Director of Childrens Services, requesting a reply to my situation, before I take my plight to the local media.
Wonder if that will get them going.

This morning, never got back to me.