A new start for Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

Well I phoned the police. they managed to get him. He finally came home about an hour or so ago. But after talking, he isnot going to stay at home. He has been told he can stay with his friends mother, in Oxford. So he is not going to keep his job at DAF, even if they kept his job for him. He has nothing to do, no money and he has just lost an apprenticeship too.
The thing that is gutting me is, that by law I cannot stop him.
Also that now he is going to go, I have got to move. The Housing Benefit will not pay my rent. I am only allowed £103 and my rent is £125. I cannot find the difference on my £89 a week. I cannnot keep a car or live here.
I am lost. I am gutted.
I am fed up with my family.
And I have a BF who doesnt want to live with me. So what Have I ?
Not printable.

floss2

Mooloo, I'm sorry to read your news.

But if you have DGD, does that not affect your housing benefit so you should get more? When do you meet with the SW? You should tell them that you are no longer in secure housing & see what they say & offer.

:grouphug:

Keeping_Motivated

Mooloo I don't know what to say...I am so sorry that your DS is being like this, it really can be an awful age for boys and I feel for you having to cope with him and the impact his reckless decisions are having on you too.

Is he communicating to you what his problem is and why he does not want ot live there despite it meaning you will have to move?

Keeping_Motivated

floss2 wrote: »

Mooloo, I'm sorry to read your news.

But if you have DGD, does that not affect your housing benefit so you should get more? When do you meet with the SW? You should tell them that you are no longer in secure housing & see what they say & offer.

:grouphug:

This is a good point.

You cannot keep protecting your daughters finances if you are to keep a secure roof over DGD head, she comes first. Plus if you are allowing to twin1 to keep all the benefits, plus basically lead a single life then you are just giving her more rope to hang herself with.

I would ring twin1 and tell her that from tomorrow you will be claiming all benefits.

Blade26

Long time lurker and follower of your posts Mooloo, I am at a total loss as to what to say. So in the absence of anything inspired I shall just offer you a my hugs and best wishes that your life will get better soon

Blade26

xxxxxx

minimoneysaver

Mooloo, this is a crazy situation. I really think that you write down your options. I would say that one option is to legally foster your granddaugter on your own. That way you would have child benefit, fostering grants, tax credits, housing benefits etc. Another is to move her mum in too, but that could be harder work in the long run. You must insist on an emergency meeting with social services and stress that this has put you into debt and in a very difficult situation. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. x

Savvy_sewing

I will be making the calls necessary tomorrow. Its hurting me like hell now.
Twin1 is here at the moment. I collected her today, after I managed to get the car out of the snow.
I think I need to go and find a councillor. I am not coping with all of this now.
There is so much going on.
I just feel pretty agreeived at the moment.
I just dont seem to have much support, except my Parents. Butthey cannot help in this situation.
I cannot stop DS from going. He is going to do what he wants whether I support him or not.
I cannot make Twin1 move in here, if she wanted to, and or if,I could cope with her living with me?
I just wish I had not bothered 2 years ago now. Wish I had said no to the social services. then I would have still been in a council flat I could afford,and probably still been a manager for British Heart Foundation on a minimum salary, but a salary never the less.

But then, what ifs, will not get me anywhere will they.
Going to sign off, and after dinner, I am going to bed early while twin1 is here.
Tomorrow I have a lot on my plate to deal with.
night all.

tired_mum

Hi Mooloo thinking of you as most parents you seem to be between a rock and a hard place I take it DS has no disabilities if this is the case then at this point i think you will have to leave him to sink or swim you can do no more at this time. Please try to speak to shelter as having DGD may still entitle you to keep the cottage can you have social services make you the permenant carer if thats what you want? also you should be getting some sort of allowance even if you have to speak to the local press re the situation you need to force their hand you and dgd should not be suffering due to incompetence
I am sorry if i am talking out of turn but i am mad at the way things are turning out for you so apologies if i have said anything wrong

queen_vi

take care Mooloo dont give up you can make it hugs and best wishes

queen_of_string

It may be worth applying for a discretionary housing payment to top up your rent. As its name suggests, its discretionary, but still worth a try given your very special circumstances. I dont know if you would be allowed more benefits if he isnt there as his income/presence may have been counted in a negative way when calculating benefits other than Local Housing allowance.

I wouldnt rush to change your claim, unless DS changes his. Friend's mum might get fed up with him quickly and he'll be back.

I am very sad he is making what appear to be such poor decisions right now, it must be heartbreaking.

Hugs to you, it seems that things are so hard for you right now, not coping well seems like a very normal and appropriate response. Finding someone to talk to sounds like a great plan. Dont forget you are entitled to a Social services assessment in your own right as a carer and to have your critical and substantial needs met.