A new start for Mooloo

Molly41

Hugs Mooloo.
Really good luck today making all the important phone calls x

Surfbabe

Hi Mooloo - haven't posted for a while but have kept up with your diary. I hope you have a productful day and that things start to get sorted. Make sure you have a list of everything before you start the phone calls.

Glad your parents are supportive of you. Take heart from that at least. Hugs and good wishes for today

ifonlyitwaseasier

Mooloo, if you need a chat, pm me,

and i can't believe DS is acting like this,

floss2

tired_mum wrote: »

... Please try to speak to shelter as having DGD may still entitle you to keep the cottage can you have social services make you the permenant carer if thats what you want? ...

Good point - having an under-16 in the household will entitle you to support from your local Council's Homeless team - but they may not accept DGD as a permanent member of the household unless Social Services support you.

Savvy_sewing

One point that was stopping me from Claiming the benefits, and only taking £50 from Twin1 (when she has managed to pay it, which thank god she did yesterday), is the fact that she would loose the housing benefit for where she is, and as it is a mother and baby place, it is more expensive then most places, and so normal benefit would not cover the £200 odd pounds a week. She would only be entitled to the £103 like I will be when DS moves out. She has been informed that they will extend her tenancy until the 6 months are up. Which is the end of February. By then there saying they hope that she will be in the Assessment Centre.
While she is in the assessment centre, she cannot keep her flat, as the assessment centre will then be claiming the housing benefit for her, and she cannot have it for two places. This means that i cannot have the housing benefit for DGD as she will be living in the assessment centre with her mum and not here with me for those 12 weeks.
Which is where that descretionary payment may have to come into the frame.
DS is going to have to contact DAF, and then he is going to have to go to the jobcentre, where ever he is living. I am trying to persuade him to stay until I can make sure that I can stay here, at least for a while. I know that I have to give my landlord 2 months notice, if I do want to go. So I will have to think about what I can sell, to find the difference etc until then. Worst case scenario.

i suppose until we find out what the assessment on Twin1 's outcome is, it is difficult to make any plans. Or changes.

DS's timing is just not good.! (I still want to murder him, (not literally, you understand), just cross with him, upset and disilusioned with him.) Cannot understand why he went ahead with the Apprenticeship in the first place if he didnt want to do it. He could have stayed on at college, and then I would still be getting the finances, all £119.75 that I recently lost, (a week). Then we were coping. Just, but we were coping.
Now there is no way I can see him actaully paying me back that rent/etc etc that he owes me. So that means that I will again be struggling when the fuel bills arrive.

Now I am going to try the Social Services and see if I can actually get an answer today.

I am trying to not panic. But I was awake for hours last night, between 2 and 5 am, with so much going around in my head.!

I just wonder where I went so wrong with my family. I really do feel such a failure.

sec79

Hi
I've been a long time lurker, but never posted on any of your threads. I think your son needs to know the consequences of his actions, ie how it affects you. Can he not pay you back a little per week once he has got benefits sorted? Yes it will be tough financially for him but then he will realise it is a struggle and once he does he may even decide to go back to college.

shaz_mum_of__2

Oh moolo another disaster to be dealt with . I think the problem is that teenage boys don't think like grown ups and do not realise the consequences of their actions , mainly because us mums shield them from the realities of life !!

I can also imagine that living in the sticks may not be all that appealling to a boy his age has he mentioned this is part of the reason for not wanting to be there?

adjusting from school to work can be difficult for some especially if they have no real goals i was like that and just drifted for years .

Hope you get the finances sorted with the various agencies

Shaz

queen_vi

I really do feel such a failure.
never ever say that its not true

Savvy_sewing

I have tried to talk to DS today, quitely, and calmly. I did stay calm, but he is only grunting, as teenagers do.
I have told him that as far as I was aware, he hadnt said anthing about not liking living here before. That I have always let him go where he wanted, etc as long as I knew where he was etc. Think I had been quite lenient. That I am worried about the financial side, and the cost of having to move etc. I have said that I am sorry that I am always going on about the cost of things, etc, but that all the many moves have cost me all my savings, etc etc and that the amount I am having to live on is scarily hard, when trying to maintain a certain lifestyle. I have told him that I can understand that he doesnt want to follow his Dad into DAF, and that he should have said so, before he left college. That I thought that he enjoyed college. I have also told him that he needs to
a) write a letter of resignation to DAF, and state that he was sorry for waisting thier time, and that he was really trying to please his Dad, but he realises that that will not work.
b) contact Connextions again, and find out if he can sign on etc. I also said that he would need to sign on up here, at the moment.
I have said that if he does go and live with his friend and his mother, (grrrrr), then what happens if he hates it, and wanted to come home? Because if I can only afford a studio flat or something similar to his sisters place, there would be no where for him to come home to.
Obviously I didnt really get anything other then a grunt back.

I have just come off of the telephone to the current SW. She wanted to put me off until the meeting tomorrow. I said I needed to talk to her, as she may need to do some research, (or the worker she is going to hand over our case to). She has said to me that Twin1 will have her assessment at Woodford House on the 1st and 2nd of February. That the results of this assessment will be available by the 16th February,.
she has asked Romford Housing (Where twin1 is currently living), when will her tenancy end. They have said the 1st of March.
If it is deemed that DGD is able to be returned to twin1, they have said that she can go back, and the termination of the tenancy will be revocked.

Tomorrow we are to meet the new worker, and discuss the plans that we are to put in place from Now until the 1st February.
She then condisendedly told me that I have coped since before christmas and that this is only another two weeks away.
She forgets that the assessment is just over two weeks away, but the results are still another month away. So DGD has to stay with me for another month at least.

Then she said, that I need to give her the names of who to contact at the council, etc to discuss this. She also said that she thinks that twin1 may not pass this, and that she will need to be assisted to live, by me. So she is thinking that they will have to move in with me. I said to her that I am not sure that twin1 would like to live here, there is nothing to do in the village. Also that I am not sure that I can cope with her living with me. (Even if it is to keep my cottage!).

She then said that I was being too honest with housing! As if they didnt know that DS was not here for a while, (as boys will be boys, and he is going through that stage) then my benefits would not be affected. At the same time asking me to give her people to talk to in housing!. Nonsensical to me. Apart from anything else I am still trying to pay off Oxford for over payment of housing benefit. Thats taking me a year and a half to pay. Currently paying £11.50 a week still. Which I am already struggling to pay. If I am overpaid here, and have to also have reduced benefit, and pay back any overpayment, it is going to be financial suicide!

So today, I play the waiting game. maybe look to see what there is out there on the housing side, but I know that I cannot afford to pay yet another deposit for another place. If I am to live alone, (if Twin is successful), then I will be very low on the priority list!.

shaz_mum_of__2

I think sometimes SW lose sight of the human being behind the case! No offence meant to SW's in generallyy it just baffles me that they think all cases are similair when they are so obviously not . I have friends who are SW's and have worked alongside them in the past and they admit to being blinkered by battle weariness!!

Hope you get a less blinkered one tomorrow, but it sounds like they are preparing you for the worse

Just a thought could you move in with twin 1 at her flat or is that a no-no becuse its a special unit?

Shaz