A new start for Mooloo

minimoneysaver

Would it not be better financially for twin 1 & baby to move in with you officially? Surely you would get housing etc for her and child benefit, tax credits and anything else that she is entitled to. She can have your sons room for her and baby. Doesn't sound like son is planning on being around much anymore. This would put you in a better financial position and ensure that your granddaughter is well looked after.... by her mother. x

Savvy_sewing

I suppose I could attempt to make a rag rug, not sure how, but I am sure i could learn. But it will be more for next year if I do!.

I have thought about DD moving in, etc, but to be honest where i live there is absolutely nothing for her (except my DGD!). We are asking the council to put her on the waiting list with me, etc, but they dont think its so easy to rehouse us. It will still be a long wait.
But if you were a follower of my previous thread, you will know that living with the twins was exhausting, hard work, and emotionally draining. I am not sure that it is the best idea. In theory its the best but in practise I think it may be "suicide" for me.
Financially it would make a big difference, but of course she is resisting as its going to mess up her "social life" etc.

My Dad is venturing out to get supplies, in his 4 x 4, and so he is going to see if he can get here to the village. If he does he is going to take DS to the town, so he will stay with DD, Biggest of Mooloo's so he can get to work a little easier. Well he isn't going at the moment.
He is also going to be taking Twin1 back to the big town. She is insisting that I had said that she had to only come from Tuesday to Thursday. So in her "autistic" mind, thats what has to happen. We cannot deviate from the plan as she cannot mentally get her head around the changes.!
I am going to let her go, as it is easier for me to just take care of my granddaughter then it is to cook and clear up after the mother and myson as well.
I know that, especially Savvy Sue, you will all think that I am being too soft. I probably am. But on this occassion I am not up to the fight and the sulks and the rest of the emotional amunition that it will bring up if I insisted she stop.

She is off so that means that the laptop is nolonger available to me. Dont know when I am going to get my one back. So I will just get on when I can.

Keeping_Motivated

Mooloo I hear what you are saying but when she is worrying about her 'social life' I'm wondering she can't have had much of a social life when DGD was with her full time so will she not be getting used to her new found freedom and social life and starting to enjoy it which may lessen your chances of ever getting her to have DGD back full time?

I know in some ways its easier for yout to just let her go back but I would be planting seeds with her that she should be there full time with baby until the assessment. I do not blame you for not wanting to live with you full time again but I just meant until assessment while you have to have DGD anyway.

Errata

Looks like twin1 isn't able to understand that a social life of any kind has to play second fiddle to a DD. It could take a an awful lot of hard work by others and be a very lengthy process to change her mindset.
I think under the circs it's best for you and her if she goes back, but it's difficult to see how it's best for her DD.

Savvy_sewing

Hello, well I am surprised that I am actually back on line. My laptop died a death. The shop said that it was not worth fixing.
I was looking at my budget and trying to see if I could get another one, but had come up with the facts that I just couldnt afford one. Biggest of Mooloo was suggesting that perhaps I get one through a catalogue, but I was against the idea of getting any sort of Credit ever again. (Except payments of car insurance if necessary.) But I don't need to now.
I have just had another visit from my DAD and Mum, and they have just brought me another laptop!!
Fantastic. I am so so lucky. My parents are so wonderful.
I have now got a new Compaq, with the new Windows7 to learn.!
I am so excited. I was feeling as if my complete life line was lost. Now I can manage to catch up with my finances, and also will be able to get myself following the various challenges.

Regards to Twin1, I telephoned her yesterday, and told her a few home truths, about how I was upset at her attitude, and how I would not be able to fight her corner if she doesnt spend more time with DGD. I told her if it had been me, I would be here with my daughter no matter what the cost. That DGD needs her Mum, and not her Granny. I also told her that she better be paying her bills etc, as I will not be happy if she is getting into debt going out and about, especially with this girl S that I cannot stand at all.
She is such a bad influence, and has had some sort of hold over Twin1 since they were at school. She used to bully the twins terribly. I think that she is a devious and manipulative person. (If anyone read my last thread you will know that she stayed with us when we were living in Oxford, when we had a "breakin" and my money, and savings tin, purse etc were stolen. and she disappeared for a couple of nights).
DS has got to sort his life out too. He is still not paying me any rent.

On the good side, DGD is fine, her vocabulary is brilliant, and she is now counting up to 8 on her own. Noticed that she was counting her stones yesterday.

Biggest of Mooloo has also been intouch today. She is going to come over to see me, and is planning to take DGD for the night. So I will have an evening by myself at home. BF is taking his son and friend back to university in Bournemouth today.

My car is still well and truely "snowed" in. But my exhusband turned up yesterday with 4 buckets of grit for me. (His new job is working for the highways agency. He said that they have run out of grit here, and are waiting for priority grit. They are now only going to be gritting the A roads).
I will need to get the snow dug out, to be able to put the sand down though!.
My Dad said please dont try to go out, it is still very bad, and he doesnt want me to risk it. He has his 4 x 4, and will come out and bring me supplies if I need anything. I have assured him that we are fine. That I have stocked up on everything, that we will be fine. I have masses of stuff in the storecupboards and also in the freezers.
Its time for our lunch.
Will no doubt have a wonderful time surfing the net this evening when DGD has gone to her Auntie.

Keeping_Motivated

Hi Mooloo well done for telling twin1 a few home truths, I hope some of it sank in. What was her response?

You sound positive today, its probably the kindness of your parents spareing (sp) you on too as its when people are kind that we see light at the end of the tunnel I think.

Keep going, take care
KM

grandma247

Mooloo I am so happy for you. You have wonderful parents.
Some of what you said might get through. My Aussie friend rang today and she said they had got a new very tiny puppy. Her autistic son dropped the puppy and hurt its leg so daddy said he was not to even look at the puppy. Well mumwas outside hanging out washing and puppy was asleep outside too. the boy came out and started talking to mum when she said "how did you get past the dog without looking at him?" he said " I shut my eyes". Then she realised he was covering his eyes while he was talking to her so she asked him why and he said" well I can still see puppy." He is only five

Errata

Good to hear you've got a new laptop, although why you didn't hang onto twin1's I'll never know (but that's just me ).
Do try and start your car and leave it running for at least 10 minutes every day so you know it will be ok when you can get out on the roads again.
Reading twin1 the riot act on the phone probably helped you feel better, but did she 'get it' ? Has she promised to see her daughter more often and pay her bills ? If she has, will she stick to her promise ?
Keep that lad chopping wood, digging your car out of the snow, clearing the drive and gritting it and don't let him off the hook when he gets his pay at the end of the month. You don't have to do everything, pay for everything, but if you do - they all will let you.
Hope the little one is enjoying the snow.

Savvy_sewing

Something must have registered with Twin1 as she actually rang up this morning to speak to her daughter. She usually leaves it up to me to ring her. I reiterated some of what I had said. I realise that probably only one thing at a time will sink in. And then will be forgotten in a day or so. constant repetativeness needed for about 3 weeks or more, then she may remember!. (then again maybe not!).
My son hasnt come home this weekend. I think he was planning to go on to Oxford to his mates for his Birthday Party, as he is 17 on Monday. I do not know how he plans to get there, or get back to be honest. But that is his problem not mine!.
I have a list of howmuch he owes me, and will show it to him when he does eventually return home.
My dad has told me to take the Xbox off of him, and give it to my Dad, and he wont let him have it back until he has paid me back the things he has charged me, and also he confirms that he is no longer using my bankdetails on Microsoft!.

Biggest of Mooloo came to collect DGD about half an hour ago. She surprised me though as she brought her new BF's Mum with them!. I was a bit flumoxed as I look a mess, and the babytoys etc were all over the sittingroom.!
I have put the hotwater on, and I will be planning to have a little pamper myself evening later as am not going anywhere nor expecting BF. I will probably have to put a few pans on the cooker to heat up water too, as well as the kettle if I really want a proper soak in the bath.
I need to dig out some moisturiser and handcreams etc. Been neglecting things and dispite using my washingup gloves my hands are dry, and the skin is splitting on several of my fingers. Which is painful indeed!.
My hair is a bit lifeless and lank too! Dear dear, not the way I usually want to start a new year.!

I really am lucky that my Parents can afford to help me, as they had said when they had helped me with the car, that there was nothing left to be able to help.
Mum is horrified that I am expected to live on the low amount that the benefits pay, and that the kids are driving me to distraction and back.

DGD is hard work, but very clever. Mum and Dad were well impressed with her talking today. We talked a little bit about the problems with having her, and have said that they will back me on what ever I decided I needed to do/or not do, over her care in the future if DD fails to impress the assessment next month.
Biggest of Mooloo is discussing what the pro's and cons are over fostering. And has started to do some research, just incase. she knows that I could not do it permanantly. Its just too much for me.
My neck, and back are very painful today, and as DGD gets bigger, its getting harder. What with the cold weather getting at my joints, its not ideal.

Anyway, its 5.15, and I can relax and enjoy my peace.
Firstly I am back to try and catch up on the Frugal Living Challenge.

minimoneysaver

Mooloo you are so lucky to have such lovely parents. That was very generous of them to purchase you a new laptop. I hope that you get the time to get on it to balance your books. It's time for your son and twin to start paying up the money that was promised to you. You cannot live on thin air. It is important that they understand that by not paying you the money they owe you, you will go further into debt, thus lowering your standard of living.