A new start for Mooloo

Errata

I don't think you need to hide how bad things are financially from your son, he's pretty grown up and independent for his age and understanding your finances will help him to grow up a bit more and learn valuable lessons. Perhaps if you discuss things with him and let him contribute to solutions he'll feel his opinions are valued and important. He deserves a big pat on the back for giving up his bedroom.

As far as discussing your finances with the twins are concerned, what would be the point ? They are going their own sweet way and don't seem to be able to grasp the implications of being short of money themselves, let alone what it means for you.
Good to hear the moped is back in action, that lessons the load on mum's taxi service, but I see that mum's laundry service is at full throttle.

I hope you can get SS sorted out. From reading your previous posts it seems like the 3 weeks you agreed to take DGD for will be much, much longer than that.
Best wishes.

Savvy_sewing

If DS comes home this evening, then I will hopefully get him to sort out his bedroom, so that we can use it when the others come to stay. He doesnt have to give it up if he doesnt want to. It was his idea. Will talk about it with him, and will also try and explain the budget again to him. In as best a way as I can.
Still not got hold of SS. Time to ask for the boss instead!.

Errata

It was his idea and he feels it would be helpful, he's a generous lad, take him up on it for a 'trial' period so he can see how it works out for him. Hint - make sure DGD has no access whatsoever to his room - whichever one it turns out to be. He needs his privacy and his belongings to be safe.

Savvy_sewing

The problem with things are that the dining room, was the main room, and i swapped it around with the old dining room, becuase of the wood burning stove. The new dining room is a passage way through to the kitchen and the bathroom, so there would not be privacy. Thats why I havent really done anything about it. But as he is only home a couple of nights a week, then he hardly uses his room. We can make a cupboard specially his things, and we can rearrange the furniture, so that we can fit a bed in there. But its going to be a tight squeese. I had to giveup my room, and live in the sittingroom, when we were in the flat, and the twins both came home, with new babies.! It was not very private, and did cause problems. So Its just not ideal.! If DGD and her Mum have to stay with me, then we will have to go back to housing and see if we can get onto the housing list, in another section. I am already on the list,but for a 2 bedroomed place. So thats not going to be any good.
This cottage was just not designed to be rearranged!. The bedrooms the only two rooms upstairs, and the bathroom and kitchen are an extension sort of leantoo on the end of the house!. We already use the kitchen door as the main door, and dont use the main door, as it comes straight off of the street into the frontroom. Where my chair is. So cant access it easily.
I have tried thinking outside of the box, but its not working!.

grandma247

you could try freecycle for a fold up sponge mattress. We bought one from lidl a couple of years ago. It folds in three to form a square seat like a large pouffe. It lives in ds3's room and is used for one or two (littles) of the gch if several come to stay. It doesn't take up much space and it just flips out to use it as a bed. Can't think of anything else yet.

Savvy_sewing

Thanks, I will have a look when I get a minute.
Been trying to get hold of the social worker, but I am told she is dealing with an emergency. I said I appreciate that, but I also need help, before I become and emergency!. I think that I am resigned to the fact that I am going to have to fight for anything that I need.

Been talking to the housing officer at the council.She is going to fill in a new form for me, which I will need to sign, and get supporting letters from the Social and the housing that twin1 will have to leave her flat. Looks like I will have to have her come to stay, never mind visit.

Savvy_sewing

Social Worker has telephoned me back. Nearly got into an arguement about things. Had to interrupt her, and calm her down!. She has been busy, and is very fraught!.
Apparantly there is a meeting this afternoon about things. She is going to ring me back by 12.30 tomorrow morning. Do I go to the coffee morning, yes. She has my mobile number. I have waited for her longenough.
She has managed to get me a stairgate, and a week tomorrow, if I can go and collect it, she has a hamper lined up for DGD. I apparantly live too far out for her to get it to me! Meanwhile the agreement to fund my petrol to get to and from DD's, seems to have been agreed, but not forthcoming!.
I will await the call tomorrow, and then I will send my letter if she doesnt come up with a bit more information.
Never mind help. Oh well, thats as much as I can do today.

DS has telephoned, he is coming back home this evening, and then wants me to take him back to his mates to collect his things, in the car. I suppose I can do that this time. But I am fed up of him taking his things and not coming home with them!.
He even took his christmas present this weekend!. I am cross with him. Now I have nothing to give him on the day.
He will be 17 in January, and I still need to get him something for his birthday. But it wont be much. There is nothing left in the coffers!. Ah well.We have a roof over our head, we have food in the cupboards and freezers and I have a lot more to be thankful for, I should stop worrying so much.
I can only deal with what I have. If we havent got it, then we havent. There will be plenty of others out there with the problems I have, and a lot more.!
Right better check to see if DGD is awake yet. Will have to wake her soon if not, or she wont sleep tonight.!

Savvy_Sue

I am sorry if I sound a bit 'tough' on your DS, for whom I have a lot of sympathy, but ...

1. If he can get stuff to his friend's, then he can get stuff back from his friends, and unless he is prepared to pay for YOUR petrol then he will have to learn to travel light!
2. Does he think he can find accommodation anywhere else where he does not have to pay if he is only there when he feels like it? Only in a hotel, and you are not running one of those! There MUST be a basic weekly rent, and it MUST be paid, whether he is there or not! If he does not, then when he comes home there may be no heat, no light, no food. It's that simple. Because you can't pick and choose what you pay based on whether he's there or not.
3. If you feel that you can cut a bit of slack about the number of meals eaten, that's fair enough, but since I have no doubt that when he IS home he eats for England, don't be too generous. I can come home to 3/4 of a loaf, and then find it's ALL gone once DS3 has had his afterschool 'snack'!

Savvy_sewing

I didnt take DS back for his stuff. He was very tired, and I really had a problelm getting him to go and have a bath, bring down his dirty stuff etc. Still not sorted out his bedroom, so I think that the offer may be abit of an empty noise!. We will see.
Woke him this morning as he hadnt got up, for work. Sent him on his way at about 7.30. At 8am he rang me to tell me it was very icey on the moped and that he was going to go and get a bus, could I ring work. Which I did.
His Dad has just rung me to tell me that he is not at work. So I presume that he is at his friends where the Xbox is. Problem is I am only aware of which block of flats it is in, and not the number!. He has really let me and his Dad down. His dad got him the apprenticeship really.
I am worried that he is going to be a handful all over again!. He has only just come off of probation from the problems he got tangled up in, in Oxford.!.
As if I didnt have enought to worry about!.

I took DGD with me to the coffee morning, at the baptist church. The Vicar or what ever he is, nearly had me in tears as he helped me get DGD into her buggy to come home. He said that he really admired me, and god bless me, for all I am doing. I was a bit embarrassed and said, that I was only doing what every other mother would do. ( Be it difficult).
There is a childrens party tomorrow there that I am going to take DGD too.
DGD is now asleep, but when she wakes I will have to go out. My prescription is going to be ready to collect. (I hope).

Before DS's disappearance we had tried talking again last night, and I had agreed to lower his "rent" to £20 a week, but he had to give me more if he stops home and eats more. So I have got to juggle the budget again, to reduce my expenses by £10 a week. But he also had £94 this week, and its all gone, and no money for me.

I really am so very dissappointed in him at the moment.

grandma247

:grouphug:hugs to you Moolooo.Y'know you really are to be admired. You are doing all this on your own without even the backup of those that are supposed to help. A lot of parents just would not really care what their kids are doing. I see it a lot around here. The kids have been robbed and they don't even know it.

Hopefully this is just a blip and he will come right in the end, also this time of year makes a lot of people act crazy.
I even hate being in the car at this time of year. We met one idiot driver after another last night and my nerves were shot by the time we got home and we had only driven ten minutes !

I hope you have a good night.