Daughter caught us having sex....

Paulgonnabedebtfree

SugarSpun wrote: »

I'm a little bit worried about this to be honest. I can get very noisy when, um, things in the bed are going well. I've been practising being quieter (poor husband is covered in little bite marks...) but I'm fairly sure I'd still be audible from the baby's room.

That's not really my problem, because I think soft noises, not the screaming ones, should be ok for the child to hear in an incidental way. I don't think we should put on a show for the child to know we're at it, but to explain that Mummy and Daddy love each other and give each other special cuddles that feel nice and sometimes make them make nice noises shouldn't be weird at all.

What actually concerns me is our upstairs neighbour, who is an extremely vocal man who likes men. He has a tendency, when he brings a guy home, to be very, very specific about what he wants to do to them and what he wants them to do to him. Which is fine, but he does it extremely loudly and using some rather shocking language. Special cuddles are one thing, I'm going to split you in two, tell me how big it is, is something else altogether and I'm really not sure how to explain that away. We're putting the baby on the other side of the apartment from his window to minimise the noise, but you can also hear him from the kitchen and the bathroom.

Perhaps I'll tell her that he likes to pretend he's the woodcutter in the story of Little Red Riding Hood. That might work.

LOL. That's just got to be the funniest post.
Woodcutter indeed

Taye

Here's a question a tad off topic but still.

How do you explain sleeping with your partner to children, having gone from being a single parent? I've always been a very very single parent (little violins please) but i've recently gone into a relationship and though me and my new partner arn't actually having sex yet im worried about when it is time for sleepovers explaining it to my kids?

i don't want them to get the wrong messages after all, but my 9 year old understands the basic's of sex and right now i know if i suggested me and my new partner where going to share a bed he'd jump to his own conclusions, even thugh to be fair they would be wrong at this point as mummy hasn't had reason to make any funny noises for about 8 years (more little violin's please) and mummy is more than alitte nervous that she's fogotten how this sex thing works anyway.

wept

Taye wrote: »

Here's a question a tad off topic but still.

How do you explain sleeping with your partner to children, having gone from being a single parent? I've always been a very very single parent (little violins please) but i've recently gone into a relationship and though me and my new partner arn't actually having sex yet im worried about when it is time for sleepovers explaining it to my kids?

i don't want them to get the wrong messages after all, but my 9 year old understands the basic's of sex and right now i know if i suggested me and my new partner where going to share a bed he'd jump to his own conclusions, even thugh to be fair they would be wrong at this point as mummy hasn't had reason to make any funny noises for about 8 years (more little violin's please) and mummy is more than alitte nervous that she's fogotten how this sex thing works anyway.

Is this the gym man Dave??
Just go for it Taye the boys will just get used to it as they probably have far more interesting things in their life - school, playtime, tv programmes rather than worry about the nice man who is putting a smile on their mums face after all this time.
Ok they may be funny at first but so what you need to be happy to make them happy after a couple of nights they will get used to it or they just accept it as kids nowadays see/here things all the time on tv and playground.

lostinrates

Taye wrote: »

Here's a question a tad off topic but still.

How do you explain sleeping with your partner to children, having gone from being a single parent? I've always been a very very single parent (little violins please) but i've recently gone into a relationship and though me and my new partner arn't actually having sex yet im worried about when it is time for sleepovers explaining it to my kids?

Do you have to explain it initially?

Does their other parent take them over night ever? Could grandparents have them, of could you nip to your new boyfriends house if you are going ''out'' on a date and have a babysitter in?

I don't have children, I have t reiterate this, but if I did I think I'd be trying to protect them from this situation, not because of the sex but because of the potential ''transitionary'' nature of seeing a new boyfriend.

Good luck BTW. And what anyone says, itsnot like riding a bike, don't pedal! but you'll be fine when it starts, you'll rmemeber what is meant to happen;)

Taye

wept wrote: »

Is this the gym man Dave??
Just go for it Taye the boys will just get used to it as they probably have far more interesting things in their life - school, playtime, tv programmes rather than worry about the nice man who is putting a smile on their mums face after all this time.
Ok they may be funny at first but so what you need to be happy to make them happy after a couple of nights they will get used to it or they just accept it as kids nowadays see/here things all the time on tv and playground.

Yes gym man "Dave" things are back on track :T but let's not, completely derail a topic haha.

Just wondering cause as much as i don't think my youngest would bat an eyelid, not really understanding such things yet.. my eldest is a little more aware and i certainly don't want to send out the message that it's ok to have sex with random people.

I only told them that "dave" had gone from friend to boyfriend last night and as much as they took the new's very well (to be fair they where more interested in, if that ment they'd be able to go to his house and play playstation more often) im just concerned about how things should progress from thier point of view, after all im an example to my children.

Also if im honest, even the thought of them thinking im having sex is enough to turn me perminantly beetroot coloured, even though it's not true.

My ex is no-longer involved in the boy's lives, the youngest has never even met him and i don't really have much in the way of family and friends, i do have my parents and sister but they live a distance away and tbh i don't really get along with my mother, because truely she is not a very nice person and i hate my sons visiting her because she put's "ideas" in thier heads.

Craftyscholar

Taye wrote: »

Yes gym man "Dave" things are back on track :T but let's not, completely derail a topic haha.
I only told them that "dave" had gone from friend to boyfriend last night and as much as they took the new's very well

Delurking to say how happy I am for you.
:T:T:T:T:T

wept

Taye wrote: »

Yes gym man "Dave" things are back on track :T but let's not, completely derail a topic haha.

Just wondering cause as much as i don't think my youngest would bat an eyelid, not really understanding such things yet.. my eldest is a little more aware and i certainly don't want to send out the message that it's ok to have sex with random people.

I only told them that "dave" had gone from friend to boyfriend last night and as much as they took the new's very well (to be fair they where more interested in, if that ment they'd be able to go to his house and play playstation more often) im just concerned about how things should progress from thier point of view, after all im an example to my children.

Also if im honest, even the thought of them thinking im having sex is enough to turn me perminantly beetroot coloured, even though it's not true.

My ex is no-longer involved in the boy's lives, the youngest has never even met him and i don't really have much in the way of family and friends, i do have my parents and sister but they live a distance away and tbh i don't really get along with my mother, because truely she is not a very nice person and i hate my sons visiting her because she put's "ideas" in thier heads.

Good stuff, well knowing yor housing situation from your posts you have the excuse of lack of rooms so he has to share doesn't he ;-) !
You may feel you have to set an example but you are hardly bringing home a different man every night are you? the boys have met hm, like him and you are ready to progress so go for it.
If the boys hear you so what they will survive...I heard my parents and am sure my kids must of heard us, there are far worse things that can happen as you well know.
Obviously discretion and time and place needs to be right as you both need to be relaxed but just chill and don't make a big issue and you will be fine.

happyathome_2

Reading through this educational topic (!). Keep trying not to laugh out loud if kids are in the room ! Wow, just proves we all have similar problems that are sadly still a taboo.

Taye, not meaning to derail thread - but I for one would LOVE a full update about "Dave" I really miss your dating thread. Please.......

jinky67

happyathome wrote: »

Taye, not meaning to derail thread - but I for one would LOVE a full update about "Dave" I really miss your dating thread. Please.......

yep me too.:D

Do you really need to explain to him? Kids are adaptable, they like Dave, so no worries there. I am sure they will just be happy that you are happy:T:T:T:T

barnaby-bear

happyathome wrote: »

Reading through this educational topic (!). Keep trying not to laugh out loud if kids are in the room ! Wow, just proves we all have similar problems that are sadly still a taboo.

Taye, not meaning to derail thread - but I for one would LOVE a full update about "Dave" I really miss your dating thread. Please.......

As much as I'd love to hear it all working out. I think perhaps Taye could do with some peace to explore this one without the constant analysis and pressure of a crowd of onlookers and opinions. I'm glad it has proved to have some positives. Some things need to be said behind closed doors - especially the woodcutter guys antics... :rotfl: