Daughter caught us having sex....

SarahNeedle1872

Lol! This is just the greatest thread ever!

Many many times I have heard both sets of 'rents doing their business! Both sets have always had an open door policy, so you know that if the door is shut, they don't wish to be disturbed, and as a respectful child that is what my sister and I did!
OP, I think your DD was out of order, and I think you have handled the situation (and some negative posts here!) brilliantly!!

My DS is only two, and has never seen us at it.... in fact I must admit to using the fact that DS is awake as an excuse not to! OH is a 'do it as much as poissible' kinda guy!

Sx

Dinah93

I'm a bit concerned by the idea that by being silent children are unaware of you having sex, but surely this just encourages them to think it's either dirty or naughty and taboo; which will either lead to a complex or an underage rebellion!

Notsosharp

TJH wrote: »

I have really loved this thread and I am no prude, accidents happen and kids will appear when you dont expect them to, but is it just me who finds the above absolutely disgusting-I am sorry but close to the edge or not, there is just no excuse for continuing whilst toddler is on dads back/in the room. I really think this is a form of child abuse and you and your hubby should be ashamed of yourselves.

I agree, I think that was probably pushing it a wee bit too far (excuse the pun!).....to be honest I don't think I could have carried on with a two year old child riding on my back!:eek:

Whilst I agree that sex should not be treated as taboo and children should know what goes on between their parents it should not be done "obviously!"

MRSTITTLEMOUSE

Dinah93 wrote: »

I'm a bit concerned by the idea that by being silent children are unaware of you having sex, but surely this just encourages them to think it's either dirty or naughty and taboo; which will either lead to a complex or an underage rebellion!

I agree with you here.
I've always been a firm believer that children should learn about things at home.
Including sex.
Where better to realise that sex should be part of a happy relationship than at home with your parents.
It does'nt have to be explicit and in their face but it doesn't hurt to let them know it goes on and that it's normal.

SugarSpun

I'm a little bit worried about this to be honest. I can get very noisy when, um, things in the bed are going well. I've been practising being quieter (poor husband is covered in little bite marks...) but I'm fairly sure I'd still be audible from the baby's room.

That's not really my problem, because I think soft noises, not the screaming ones, should be ok for the child to hear in an incidental way. I don't think we should put on a show for the child to know we're at it, but to explain that Mummy and Daddy love each other and give each other special cuddles that feel nice and sometimes make them make nice noises shouldn't be weird at all.

What actually concerns me is our upstairs neighbour, who is an extremely vocal man who likes men. He has a tendency, when he brings a guy home, to be very, very specific about what he wants to do to them and what he wants them to do to him. Which is fine, but he does it extremely loudly and using some rather shocking language. Special cuddles are one thing, I'm going to split you in two, tell me how big it is, is something else altogether and I'm really not sure how to explain that away. We're putting the baby on the other side of the apartment from his window to minimise the noise, but you can also hear him from the kitchen and the bathroom.

Perhaps I'll tell her that he likes to pretend he's the woodcutter in the story of Little Red Riding Hood. That might work.

nancy711

I guess it's all about a sensible balance. There's no need to creep around like mice but at the same time don't make it obvious.

It's perfectly natural but show some common sense - your intimate moments are for you and your partner - noone else likes to hear or see what you get up to.

lostinrates

SugarSpun wrote: »

, I'm going to split you in two,.....

Perhaps I'll tell her that he likes to pretend he's the woodcutter in the story of Little Red Riding Hood. That might work.

That wood have terrified me if I were little, I'd think the woodcutter was going to come downstirs and kill me with his axe. Children's imaginations create enough monsters in the cupboards/under bed at nights without them having voices from walls/ceilings saying things that could be interpreted as a physical threat to a child.

TBH: I'd be trying to resolve this issue! Its very different from hearing loving, caring ''noises''/words.

SugarSpun

He's not the most responsive sort, our big butch neighbour. He plays atrocious Euro-pop at all hours and it is only when my enormously pregnant self hauls my butt up the stairs and begs him to turn it down so I can sleep that he will do so.

I'm big into the idea of teaching kids that playtime and imagination are good things, but that doesn't mean the things you imagine are real. If that means that we have to lie on the floor and shine a torch under the bed to reveal no monsters, so be it. Once our lease is up we may need to move to a bigger place anyway, so hopefully it will not be an issue in the future.

Dilfred

SugarSpun wrote: »

Once our lease is up we may need to move to a bigger place anyway, so hopefully it will not be an issue in the future.

Good luck, hope you find what you are looking for (and more social neighbours)

Alias_Omega

Upon her coming into the room, you should of replied with..

'Well thats how you were made' & sent her back to her room.