Daughter caught us having sex....

jinky67

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

. You ensure you don't make any noises; bed, floorboards & pleasure sounds included. I suppose it might come down to self control, certainly not needing to be gagged; it's really not that difficult.

I am sorry but, how in the name of God do you have sex with no noise at all?

Are you sure you are doing it right?:D

I like my OH to know I am enjoying myself, and I certainly dont hold back on that score, but when the kids are around it most certainly is toned down a lot.:cool:
Thankfully we usually get together when the kids are not there and I let rip:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j

poet123

I think that is a little unfair tbh, at the outset the OP was doing neither of those things, rather asking how it should be handled. Sometimes humour diffuses a potentially volatile situation, so imo there was no ridicule, just the suggestion from others to use humour as a tool to overcome the embarrassment.

As for the child being angry, she may well be, but it is not an emotion that should be accomodated, parental sex may be unappetising to most of us, but it is normal and natural, and not something to be ashamed about.

Flower08

jinky67 wrote: »

Are you sure you are doing it right?:D

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

My thoughts exactly!!

ChIpStIcK

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

No, of course not. It's nothing to do with having sex with your husband, but joking/ridiculing your incredibly embarrassed and possibly angry child. Is that so hard to understand, especially having described your own Mother as worse than Dot Cotton?

Joking yes, ridiculing no,

We have a laugh in our household, keep things light hearted so my hubby messing around was normal, and if him tickling me is a crime then i'll be doing years as we are a playful couple and won't change.
He brings me a cuppa every morning and sends me flowers randomnly if he thinks im down, he cooks every weekend to give me a break, and buys me shoes for xmas!!! He is my perfect man, yes he snores and goes red in the sun, he wakes up with a wet pillow from dribbling but he is funny and loving to us all and we are ruddy lucky he is ours.
Him keeping things light and playful with our daughter is normal, because you don't agree dosen't make it wrong.

Flower08

ChIpStIcK wrote: »

yes he snores and goes red in the sun, he wakes up with a wet pillow from dribbling

Sounds just like my OH :rotfl:

Seriously though i dont think you have any need to defend yourself to anyone. Im not sure where this idea of you ridiculing your daugther came from just simply the use of some lighthearted humour.

Im sorry but children need to realise that parental sex is normal!! Yes it may be embarrassing.

Lunar_Eclipse

ChIpStIcK wrote: »

because you don't agree dosen't make it wrong.

Agree.

Have to leave the thread now, I'm upset by the hurtful comments directed my way and ridiculous insinuations that I'm not doing it right. Yes, I can be silent whilst having sex and enjoying multiple orgasms; just like I'm (almost) the same during childbirth. We're all different.

I suspect in my case it is because my parents made noises that made me feel sick as a child, so naturally I empathise with the child in this regard and am very mindful not to put my kids through the same thing. That's all.

Children do need to realise that parental sex is normal, but they don't need to hear or see it. I know in your case it was an accident and I'm (honestly) not getting at you at all, I just find some of the 'oh well, it's normal and if they hear it who cares' type attitude astounding.

jinky67

But these days kids should not be exposed to *this sort of thing*, they need wrapping up in cotton wool you see:rolleyes:

And sex is nasty and dirty:cool:























:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j

jinky67

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Agree.

Have to leave the thread now, I'm upset by the hurtful comments directed my way and ridiculous insinuations that I'm not doing it right. Yes, I can be silent whilst having sex and enjoying multiple orgasms; just like I'm (almost) the same during childbirth. We're all different.

I suspect in my case it is because my parents made noises that made me feel sick as a child, so naturally I empathise with the child in this regard and am very mindful not to put my kids through the same thing. That's all.

Children do need to realise that parental sex is normal, but they don't need to hear or see it.

Oh please it was a joke:rolleyes:

poet123

Children do need to realise that parental sex is normal, but they don't need to hear or see it.

I agree wholeheartedly, but again, to be fair to the OP, she understood her daughter to be asleep, there was no intent to expose the kids to parental sex.

lostinrates

I think a clear definition is what the child was exposed to and the light relief OP has gained via the forum.

I think children benefit from being exposed to clearly loving relationships, and that touching, hugging, and indeed perhaps knowing they have sex (not in a put a sofa and popcorn machine in the bedroom type way, but just ''knowing'' from clues) is part of that. That said, I also think its important that children understand the ''intimacy'' of physical relationships and the importance sex has usually translates to it being private.

IMO, we have too little of both these understandings being given to children IN GEnERAL - not Op's case that I can tell from these posts- in our society, which is where the problems stem from. Sex is normal and healthy, and funny, sex is also a responsibity (even safe sex carries risks/pregnancy) and makes one physically and emotionally vulnerable, so despite the humour and natural elements of sex, its also important.

In our society we seem to prefer to not give it importance by evading discussion about it in a frank and humourous way, and either making it dirty or not important: the not importance shows by devaluing sex within long term relationships.(and having some people who experience extreme promiscuity and often find it not the answer they were seeking from sex)

Good luck OP. my husband is now suggesting some humourous and important us time, so I'm logging off!