Daughter caught us having sex....

ChIpStIcK

t_obermory wrote: »

Where did I say you don't give a damn? You obviously do otherwise you wouldn't be posting here. There is a big difference between knowing about sex and being emotionally mature enough to understand it, your daughter obviously isn't emotionally mature enough to deal with it or she wouldn't have reacted the way she did.

All I'm saying is instead of trying to wind her up and embarrass her further sit her down and talk to her she doesn't have to say anything to listen. Explain that sex is natural and you're going to be doing it etc etc. But as I said in my original post which is something I stand by as you've made no real effort to talk to her.

Don't post on a public forum if you don't want to hear views that differ from yours.

I start work in 10 mins so wont be able to respond further till my lunch hour, I'm sorry for being snappy, i just am very defensive regarding my children, I have tried to talk to her, she has made it clear she doesn't want to and with her attitude i know it is best to leave her be, As any parent knows you do the chit chat as you do your evening business and she has made it clear for me to stay away, which is fine with me, i''m sure when she has calmed down she will be back to her usual self, yes my hubby was messing around last night, but that is him, he is a natural joker and enjoys his family life,my kids are the same, they always have a silly side on the go, yes my hubby should have behaved but he was messing , he hoped she would burst out laughing.
Anyways my apologies again.

Ammie

I think the OP has taken an awkward situation and dealing with it as best she can. Personally I think the OP is being quite lenient. She did the right thing in talking to her daughter at the time and she's put up with her sulking.

In my household there wouldn't be an option to not be speaking to me, locking her door and acting the way her daughter is doing.

I'm presuming the daughter knew what was going on before she went to the loo and find it bizarre that she then stood outside their bedroom for confirmation and then busted in to read them the riot act when most kids would of just hurried back to their bedroom slightly grossed out.

Her daughter is not traumatised, this isn't something that is going to ruin the rest of her life, and while I can understand her being shocked her belligerent attitude is uncalled for.

In her first post I think the OP was genuinely upset by her childs reaction and felt ashamed. I think most of us have made her realise that it's not a big deal after all and reading other stories about us catching our parents at it when we were younger but seeing we can laugh about it now may of been a relief.

A happy couple who's still in love, produced two kids, running a successful household and are always there for their kids, sounds like they're doing a bang up job to me.

woody01

I feel a bit sorry for the daughter to be honest.
She may not pay the bills but it is still her home and she should feel comfortable in it.

If the parents want to get physical then thats fine.
BUT
If the parents are at it like a couple of rabbits and not caring who hears them, including their daughter, then it does show a certain lack of consideration for the daughter, and also dare i say it, lacks a bit of class.

If any of the parents here feel its OK for their children to hear them banging away, then you should be a little embarassed.

Would you be happy if you daughter bought her boyfriend home and she was being nailed within earshot?

Ammie

woody01 wrote: »

I feel a bit sorry for the daughter to be honest.
She may not pay the bills but it is still her home and she should feel comfortable in it.

If the parents want to get physical then thats fine.
BUT
If the parents are at it like a couple of rabbits and not caring who hears them, including their daughter, then it does show a certain lack of consideration for the daughter, and also dare i say it, lacks a bit of class.

If any of the parents here feel its OK for their children to hear them banging away, then you should be a little embarassed.

Would you be happy if you daughter bought her boyfriend home and she was being nailed within earshot?

I totally agree that the daughter should feel comfortable in the home but the rest of your post is way off in regards to what actually happened so I'm not sure if you're referring to the OP or not.

mystic_trev

Ammie wrote: »

I have a budgie and can't even have sex with her in the room

Bloody hell, I get as far as page three and the Budgies getting screwed :eek:


.......................I'll get my coat!

sneggy

hi woody the op did think her dd was asleep i think you got the wrong end of the stick she didnt expect her daughter to wake up nevermind walk in
also i would agree it would be embarrasing for the daughter to hear them "at it like rabbits" all the time but this is not the case in this house

tiamai_d

I still think the DD is being a bit of a brat. It's not like her parents are having an orgy in the lounge is it? She should turn her tv up or ask for a pair of headphones 'so I don't have to listen to you two', not throw things against the wall and make her parents miserable.

I thought it was the 10 year olds who groaned at mum and dad doing the snogging, yucky yucky gross eurgh!

Like I said, a pillow over my ears or the tv on was enough to drown mine out, I'd never have dreamed about throwing a strop, maybe a snide 'there must have been a storm last night, was soooo noisy' the next moring as I ran out.

OP, at least you can still laugh

jackieb

ChIpStIcK wrote: »

I start work in 10 mins so wont be able to respond further till my lunch hour, I'm sorry for being snappy, i just am very defensive regarding my children, I have tried to talk to her, she has made it clear she doesn't want to and with her attitude i know it is best to leave her be, As any parent knows you do the chit chat as you do your evening business and she has made it clear for me to stay away, which is fine with me, i''m sure when she has calmed down she will be back to her usual self, yes my hubby was messing around last night, but that is him, he is a natural joker and enjoys his family life,my kids are the same, they always have a silly side on the go, yes my hubby should have behaved but he was messing , he hoped she would burst out laughing.
Anyways my apologies again.

I think you've dealt with it as best as anyone could. I can understand your OH trying to diffuse the situation with a joke, but obviously that's not working with your daughter unfortunately. I'd have probably tried to do the same in your situation.

If it were me i'd maybe apologise for messing around with her, and you thought, wrongly, that you could all laugh it off. Make it clear that your bedroom is your space, and she shouldn't have barged in like she did. You weren't setting out to upset her and you were mortified that she'd walked in on you too - it works both ways.

I hope you can work it out.

peachyprice

woody01 wrote: »

I feel a bit sorry for the daughter to be honest.
She may not pay the bills but it is still her home and she should feel comfortable in it.

If the parents want to get physical then thats fine.
BUT
If the parents are at it like a couple of rabbits and not caring who hears them, including their daughter, then it does show a certain lack of consideration for the daughter, and also dare i say it, lacks a bit of class.

If any of the parents here feel its OK for their children to hear them banging away, then you should be a little embarassed.

Would you be happy if you daughter bought her boyfriend home and she was being nailed within earshot?

It was 11.30 at night, OP and her OH had every reason to believe that their daughter was asleep. If that isn't a reasonable time to be making love without disturbing the children, when is?

I think you're letting your imagination run away with you a little here.

t_obermory

jackieb wrote: »

If it were me i'd maybe apologise for messing around with her, and you thought, wrongly, that you could all laugh it off. Make it clear that your bedroom is your space, and she shouldn't have barged in like she did. You weren't setting out to upset her and you were mortified that she'd walked in on you too - it works both ways.

This was the point I was trying to make; men can be pains in the proverbial for be wind up merchants my DH is the same. Perhaps now the dust's settled she'll be more responsive to you having a chat with her tonight and you can get to the bottom of why she barged in and make it clear that its not acceptable.

Good luck! Its refreshing that its only a bit of nookie she's over hearing and not you two having blazing rows, I'm sure in a few years she'll come to appreciate that you have a solid marriage; unfortunately now she's got herself caught up in the teenage response of parents doing it being revolting.