Daughter caught us having sex....

MrsE_2

MRSTITTLEMOUSE wrote: »

I remember my youngest daughter who was 14 then,saying to me as a 35 year old that dad was disgusting and he should be leaving a woman as old as me alone as surely I was past it.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

SugarSpun

I can't believe she's still acting the maggot.

If I were in your situation, it would be time to catch her in her room (knock before going in... it's simple courtesy ) and explain to her that adults who live together and have children have definitely had sex in the past and are overwhelmingly likely to still be at it. Your intention isn't to embarrass her, and you stopped when you knew she was awake and only carried on when you thought she'd gone back to sleep out of respect for her feelings. However, her behaviour on the night and since then is completely unacceptable and since she has to continue to live with you she will have to accept that you and her father will continue to enjoy each other's company in and out of the bedroom.

The deal is simple: you two don't [EMAIL="sh@g"]sh@g[/EMAIL] on the sofa, and she doesn't come into your bedroom without knocking. If she expects to be treated with the respect due to an adult, she has to abide by adult standards of behaviour. At the moment she isn't.

MrsE_2

ChIpStIcK wrote: »

I start work in 10 mins so wont be able to respond further till my lunch hour, I'm sorry for being snappy, i just am very defensive regarding my children, I have tried to talk to her, she has made it clear she doesn't want to and with her attitude i know it is best to leave her be, As any parent knows you do the chit chat as you do your evening business and she has made it clear for me to stay away, which is fine with me, i''m sure when she has calmed down she will be back to her usual self, yes my hubby was messing around last night, but that is him, he is a natural joker and enjoys his family life,my kids are the same, they always have a silly side on the go, yes my hubby should have behaved but he was messing , he hoped she would burst out laughing.
Anyways my apologies again.

I think you have dealt with the minority (only a couple at most) negative responses wonderfully.
After all its natural;)

Nicki

MrsE wrote: »

I think you have dealt with the minority (only a couple at most) negative responses wonderfully.
After all its natural;)

I agree, and I seriously wonder what planet some people live on!

If I've read the thread correctly (and I'm pretty sure I have!) your daughter caught you in flagrante, you were mortified, but tried to talk to her sensibly about it, and got the cold shoulder. She went to school, came home and you virtually hid in the kitchen embarrassed and mortified, while she kept up the cold shoulder. She continued to behave like an immature brat over the course of the evening, at which point in an attempt to lighten the mood (and I suspect in part to stop you continuing to feel like you'd done something awful), your husband started a little gentle teasing. At which point some small minded people have criticised you for being insensitive and traumatising your daughter! They seem to have missed 2 vital points:

1. the softly softly sensitive approach wasn't working. She was still behaving like a spoilt brat and you were becoming very upset by the atmosphere; and

2. you haven't done anything wrong. The initial act was discreet, late at night, behind closed doors and you even paused to give her time to go to the loo and go to bed! She hid outside your door so that she could catch you in the act. Expecting you never to have sex again at the grand old age of 30 something just in case she does the same again is wholly unreasonable (speaking as a 40 something with children who is pregnant again!). Even the teasing is not OTT or very in your face, and if she chooses not to deal with the discreeet stuff, maybe something a bit more cringeworthy will put things in perspective for her!

inspector_monkfish

ChIpStIcK wrote: »

When she burst in we were unclothed obviously and as it was hot on top of the bed with various "Toys" I think that is what her shock and outrage is stemming from,
l.

Could you elaborate please? :D:eek:

diable

inspector_monkfish wrote: »

Could you elaborate please? :D:eek:

I was thinking the same thing as any new ideas would be greatly appreciated

I have just come across this thread (no silly innuendoes please) and have read it all the way through. I won't make any suggestions as enough have been made but I can tell you that this thread is a favourite to win the "Thread of the year Award"
:T:T:T

Dave101t

she's jealous

bevan840

Wow, what a thread!!!! I've been having a bit of a bad day today but this thread has made me laugh my socks off!!! Thank god the boss has left or he'd be wondering what I was laughing at probably!!! lol

Me and my DH finally moved in together in October and we have his kids almost every weekend. It hasn't stopped us 'avin it' at all. The boys are 6, 8 and 12. The 2 youngest are always saying they never want girlfriends and going yuck if me and Dad kiss or cuddle (I do have a good relationship with them as well) But when they are saying yuck they are laughing!! Which I have to admit makes us do it even more! :rotfl: They know that our room is ours, and that if we are in there then to leave us there unless they really need us. They don't go in unless one of us tells them to.

Fortunately I never walked in on my parents, I would of died of embarassment if I had. But I can remember when I realised that Sunday Mornings were they're time, I woke up one Sunday morning and could hear 'something' problem I had was I was dieing for the toilet!!!!!!! I hung on for as long as I could but couldn't last any longer, so tried to leave my room as quietly as possible, as I went past they're door I suddenly heard the rustling of sheets, of them suddenly separating I think, so quickly went loo and went back to my room ASAP!!! Turned computer on and put some music on! LOL I have told them about that morning and we all just laughed about it. my Dad still pinches Mum's bum and vice versa. As everyone has said, she shoudl be grateful that Mum and Dad still love each other as much as they do as there are a lot of children who live with parents who don't.

Good luck with DD, I'm sure she'll calm down eventually, if it's embarrassing for a 20yr old to hear her parents at it, it must be worse for a 14yr old as she's younger so doesn't entirely understand what it is (especially with the toys). Sex is not wrong, or disgusting, it is natural and when she get's older she will understand that and when she finds the person she wants to be with she will probably be just as bad! And then eventually when she has children it will probably happen to her as well so she will eventually find out what you felt like also and she will look back on it and either cringe or laugh!

pelirocco

woody01 wrote: »

I feel a bit sorry for the daughter to be honest.
She may not pay the bills but it is still her home and she should feel comfortable in it.

If the parents want to get physical then thats fine.
BUT
If the parents are at it like a couple of rabbits and not caring who hears them, including their daughter, then it does show a certain lack of consideration for the daughter, and also dare i say it, lacks a bit of class.

If any of the parents here feel its OK for their children to hear them banging away, then you should be a little embarassed.

Would you be happy if you daughter bought her boyfriend home and she was being nailed within earshot?

Pink Fluffs OH?

Dinah93

littlemissmoney wrote: »

I know I'm going against the trend here, but I think you are being quite insensitive towards your DD and I feel sorry for her. It's her home and she should feel comfortable in her own bed

But it's the OP's house too and a child is making her feel uncomfortable in it, it was a very hot night last night, having to sleep in jammies just in case she 'caught them' naked is ridiculous. As is throwing things against the wall, she's 14 not 4!

I can appreciate she is uncomfortable, but if you don't sit down and talk to her, yes even if she doesn't want to, she's going to keep stropping and your relationship will suffer as you have to start scheduling in sex for the times DD is out instead of being spontaneous.

What you are doing is natural, yes no one really likes to hear their parents/children at it, but bursting into your room is not acceptable and you need to make that clear to her. Your room is your private space, tell her if she expects privacy in her room, then you deserve the same respect. Your husband should also feel comfortable to joke around with you without her getting angry.

I'm sure my parents still have sex at 49, the first thing my dad does on an evening when he comes home is give my mum a kiss, and I love that their relationship is so affectionate. My OH and I live under their roof atm, and we've never heard them, hopefully they can say the same about us!

I don't think many relationships can survive for a long time without sex, I know a couple who broke up because she just swore off sex after they had the two kids, and the guy left eventually (he stayed well over 10 years mind). He's certainly making up for lost time now though! I'd much rather I knew my parents were still happily romanced with one another than fiddling someone else on the side.