Cross with OH ..

Valli

Bellrooster
can I suggest (voiceof experience here - I'm divorced) that if this has caused you upset and distress, which it appears to have, that you pick your moment, tell him that you need to talk and tell him how very disappointed/let down you were that he forgot your birthday. Then wait and see how he takes it. Don't 'go on' at him; don't bring any other failings/problems into the discussion and see what he has to say.

bellrooster

Thanks Valli, you're right I need to sit him down and talk about it! this should be interesting!

Valli

flattered you took it in the right way...
it's one of the 'differences' between men and women (of which there are so very many). So when there's a problem you need to focus on the one thing/issue and not bring back or bring into the discussion 'side' issues.
(Now if I had been capable of taking my own advice ...
having said that it takes two to make and maintain a relationship...)
Hope it helps and do let us know.
Maybe he has something else on his mind such as work worries.

Valli

BritRael wrote: »

I never forget me GF's b/d; er...she wouldn't let me!!

My 'fault' is that I always ask her what she wants, which drives her up the wall. She prefers me to 'pick something', even though experience has taught her that I always pick rubbish and she has to take it back and change it! Whereas I would prefer to cut out the middle man and buy something that she actually wants, irrespective of cost.

I know, I'm a heartless bast**d... :rolleyes:



Women huh? You can't beat 'em. Pity!!

and here too - at a non-birthday gift time TELL your GF you WOULD like to buy her something SHE would like but you know you are rubbish at picking up ideas and choosing stuff she would like SO you would like her to give you some options...then you can choose from them. So it's still a suprise.
HTH

seven-day-weekend

He probably just didn't understand how much it meant to you.

I'm a bit like that, we never make a fuss of birthdays , never have done and would never celebrate mothers' day or anything like that.( If it's my husband's or son's birthday, I'll make a card and get them something they want but it may not necessarily be on their birthday. For example, my son had his Christmas and Birthday present combined in March, as he wanrted me to buy him a flight to Spain. Don't bother with anyone else at all).

I remember a friend of mine being upset as her husband hadn't done anything for mother's day and whilst I made sympathetic noises I really couldn't see what all the fuss was about.

However, now he knows how much it means to you, hopefully he'l do something next time.

ariba10

I bought the other half an anniversary card for her birthday two year running.

The first one was bad enough but when she had the second!!!!

I tried to explain that a birthday is an anniversary but to little avail.

BitterAndTwisted

The daft beggar forgot and probably feels that now the time has passed it would be even more embarrassing (for him) to make a fuss of you so late in the day. Men are absolutely useless about dates and anniversaries, it's well-known fact.

BUY HIM A CALENDAR and write your birthday in it in big bright red letters. Put reminders in it in the three-week lead-up to it and try and have a laugh about it together. I doubt he's stopped caring and he's probably feeling like a right berk about it. Anyone would

belfastgirl23

My brother once bought my mum a sympathy card for her birthday. it had flowers on the front so he thought she'd like it. He was about 25 at the time

belfastgirl23

BritRael wrote: »

I never forget me GF's b/d; er...she wouldn't let me!!

My 'fault' is that I always ask her what she wants, which drives her up the wall. She prefers me to 'pick something', even though experience has taught her that I always pick rubbish and she has to take it back and change it! Whereas I would prefer to cut out the middle man and buy something that she actually wants, irrespective of cost.

I know, I'm a heartless bast**d... :rolleyes:

Women huh? You can't beat 'em. Pity!!

Just to say that when she says you should pick something what she means is you should actually LISTEN to her for about a month before her birthday and hear what she's saying she would like. Or you should ask her mum/sister/best friend to help you choose. She is not saying you should go out on your own to do it (even if those are the words issuing from her mouth )

My DH thinks I don't know he asks his sister for advice on my birthday present. And quite often gets a different sister to wrap it :rolleyes: But they both have great taste and do actually listen to me some of the time so can hazard a guess!

BitterAndTwisted

I once bought my mother a pretty little card for her birthday but when I turned up at her house I'd forgotten to write anything in it. She snatched it off me before I had a chance to. When my birthday came round a few weeks later I got it back, also unsigned. We exchanged that card between us for the next twenty years or so.