MSE Parents Club Part 3

slscarborough

I am having an absolute nightmare at the moment. My 2 year old has had a virus so I havent left the house now for 2 and a half weeks. As well as getting up for the baby I have been getting up for him too so I am absolutely exhausted. I had just about got my toddler settled into nursery but as he hasnt been for such a long while I will have to start all over again. Today he just refused to leave the house and screamed so much I just gave up. He has always been hard work but lately ( and not just since he has been ill) he has been worse then ever. I fell trapped in the house. Since going on Maternity Leave I havent yet made any daytime friends so I feel very alone. Oh doesnt seem to understand and I am even thinking of going back to work just because I dont know how much longer I can cope with this. I feel such a failure.

MrsTinks

r.mac wrote: »

Tine - your little Roo is soo cute in those photos. Please tell me how to do that (link to just one picture) on facebook.

at the bottom of the page with the pic on is a link - say to show your friends who are not on facebook or something like that

r.mac_2

hugs slscarborough xxxx

have you considered speaking to your HV? Mine was good at putitng me in touch with other mums and they'll come to you. perhaps she'll have some ideas about helping LO leave the house.

have some more hugs xxxx

Lu_T

slscarborough wrote: »

I am having an absolute nightmare at the moment. My 2 year old has had a virus so I havent left the house now for 2 and a half weeks. As well as getting up for the baby I have been getting up for him too so I am absolutely exhausted. I had just about got my toddler settled into nursery but as he hasnt been for such a long while I will have to start all over again. Today he just refused to leave the house and screamed so much I just gave up. He has always been hard work but lately ( and not just since he has been ill) he has been worse then ever. I fell trapped in the house. Since going on Maternity Leave I havent yet made any daytime friends so I feel very alone. Oh doesnt seem to understand and I am even thinking of going back to work just because I dont know how much longer I can cope with this. I feel such a failure.

Big hugs sls. Is there someone else who could take your son to nursery? Maybe he won't play up so much (or you won't see it) if that could happen? He'd probably have a fab time once he was there, but getting him there is another matter. I think it was Millie's Mum who had something similar with her eldest after the new baby came along. I guess your middle son probably thinks he's missing out on something as you and the baby are at home together while he's at nursery. It could be jealousy kicking in - even if it hasn't done so far. Maybe he's just realising the baby's here to stay? 2 is a difficult enough age as it is.

Have nursery got any ideas? I bet they've dealt with this before.

Here's a charity you could call to talk it through http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/ It sounds like you need to get it off your chest. Keep talking to us on here. We'll do our best to help.

Just remember, you have three beautiful children. You are NOT a failure, just having a bad patch. We've all had those. Having two young children is hard enough, let alone when one of them has been ill.

slscarborough

HV is useless - apparently we only get two visits now unless there is a problem as they are too busy. Then if you do ring you have to wait weeks. They dont even do the development checks and weigh in clinics anymore as they are understaffed. My 2 year old hasnt seen a health visitor since he was 3 months old. The HV who came to see Caitlin stayed all of about 10 minutes and just said I must know what I am doing!!

feelinggood_2

Lu_T wrote: »

Feelie - will keep everything crossed for the outcome you want - whatever that is. Have you been having AF? If so, when was your last one?

Not sure why we've been scary the pg club? We're all very lovely IMHO!

We've been talking about screaming babies and sleepless nights!

slscarborough wrote: »

I am having an absolute nightmare at the moment. My 2 year old has had a virus so I havent left the house now for 2 and a half weeks. As well as getting up for the baby I have been getting up for him too so I am absolutely exhausted. I had just about got my toddler settled into nursery but as he hasnt been for such a long while I will have to start all over again. Today he just refused to leave the house and screamed so much I just gave up. He has always been hard work but lately ( and not just since he has been ill) he has been worse then ever. I fell trapped in the house. Since going on Maternity Leave I havent yet made any daytime friends so I feel very alone. Oh doesnt seem to understand and I am even thinking of going back to work just because I dont know how much longer I can cope with this. I feel such a failure.

((Hugs))

I agree with speaking to HV. Are there any Childrens Centres near by? Mine has a family outreach worker who can help when you are finding things difficult. When things start up again in September, she is going to help me go to a Baby Group. Perhaps they can offer something similar, to help you get out the first few times?

I know my NCT group communicate via email, maybe get in touch with your local group and ask if there are any local ladies you could email or phone? If you are struggling to get out, perhaps invite a couple of ladies round?

You aren't a failure, you are having a tough time, which is normal and you are doing brilliantly. Don't think bad of yourself. Try and turn it around - if a lady on here was going through similar, would you think she was a failure? We often judge ourselves far too harshly. I know I often do!

Do you have a relative who could do an overnight for you, or at least help for an afternoon so you can take a long nap? Could you get OH to book a day off work, so at least you've got something set in stone in the near future to think about?

feelinggood_2

Also, someone on here mentioned http://www.home-start.org.uk/needsupport/

I haven't got in touch yet, but it is something I keep meaning to do. Maybe give them a call?

Whereabouts are you based again?

Lu_T

Just another thought. Do you have a Sure Start centre near you? http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/everychildmatters/earlyyears/surestart/fundedsettings/childrenscentresmap/

They often do groups for parents with babies and toddlers. Perhaps you'd meet some people at one of those. They tend to be free (or a nominal amount) so not too hard on the pocket. It would give you a break and others to talk to?

r.mac_2

Ok - hope you don't mind, but I'd like to introduce you to my gorgeous wee girl

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=38860780&l=e0a6387915&id=61009135

Hope that worked!

feelinggood_2

Aww, how adorable R.mac, such a cutie!

As it is photo sharing time, heres my little chap having a giggle with Nanna:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2630257&l=d0111acbb3&id=551181113

Not bad seeing as that was the first time he'd seen her in about 5 weeks!