MSE Parents Club Part 3

MrsTinks

weezl74 wrote: »

mrs tine, your question yesterday got me thinking quite a lot:).... When you talk about it being hard to afford a larger family, did you mean in terms of the things the babies would need or did you mean in loss of income terms because SMP might not go up to the full year next april, or were you thinking of something else?

I'd love others thoughts on what people have found the expensive part of having children to be...

thanks all for any thoughts!

ALL of it But mainly I guess loss of income... Maybe it's more of a shock to our system because even with me unemployed we wouldn't qualify for working tax credits (just) at the moment - I know we're lucky and have good jobs but it means that any drop to say SMP is a HUGE drop for our household income... Other bills don't stop needing to be paid like the car finance (we both have to have "nice" cars for work, it's even in DHs contract...), the CCs (sigh - one day I will have them ALL paid off!) the loans and importantly... the blasted mortgage! OK right now we're super lucky as our fixed rate has ended and we're on a tracker at 1.5% above base rate (only good financial decision we've made in years lol) so we're still able to plough extra money into paying off other debts despite my drop in income...
Then when I return to work if we had more kids there would be 2 lots of childcare to pay for... :eek: Because even with 2 it would still not be financially viable to stay at home *sigh*
I know we're lucky really, but some days I wish I qualified for just a little back from the government so I could afford to stay home with my baby too... Not like I haven't spent the last 12 years paying taxes to them, so would be nice if when we needed it we could get a little back... hohum...

MrsTinks

As for managing money better... if I managed our money any better it would be because someone worked out a way of transfering transactions and spending to my many spreadsheets by telekenesis so I didn't have to type it in LOL

Hi my name is MrsTine and I'm a financial control freak who's addicted to budget spreadsheets

emlou2009

MrsTine wrote: »

Then when I return to work if we had more kids there would be 2 lots of childcare to pay for... :eek: Because even with 2 it would still not be financially viable to stay at home *sigh*

it doesnt matter whether i go back or not, we're still going to be worse off once the MA stops once childcare is paid for :rolleyes: even me going back full time, which i dont want to do, will make us £5 a week worse off after tax!

ladybirdintheuk

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

We have a lot of made up songs in the MFD household - my personal fave of the day was 'Mummy put her sockies on' to the tune of Polly Put the Kettle on!!

Heh, I do that too. Normally to the tune of here we go looby loo or here we go gathering nuts in may. They never rhyme or scan properly, so it's a good thing she doesn't understand me

weezl74 wrote: »

mrs tine, your question yesterday got me thinking quite a lot:).... When you talk about it being hard to afford a larger family, did you mean in terms of the things the babies would need or did you mean in loss of income terms because SMP might not go up to the full year next april, or were you thinking of something else?

I'd love others thoughts on what people have found the expensive part of having children to be...

thanks all for any thoughts!

Partly the not being at work/paying for childcare when I go back, partly the "needing to live somewhere bigger". (We can manage where we are with the 3 of us, but not if we want Izzy to be a big sister in the future... 2 bedro1om 3rd floor flats with no garden are not ideal for bringing up children Well... I'm sure if we had to manage we would get by without murdering one another, but only just )

And as she gets bigger there will be school trips, shoes, a bicycle etc... (I don't count gadgety electronicy things, as realistically we would have them anyway if we didn't have any kids... although we will end up with a few games we wouldn't have had otherwise!)

We are off to visit 2 nurseries today. I am going armed with tissues and that long list of questions you all helped me put together the other week. Wish me luck and a stiff upper lip

3onitsway

Becles wrote: »

I think children get more expensive as they get older, and it's no longer cool to wear Primark/Tesco/Asda clothes as they are into brand names. It happens even if you are anti-brand name like me as they want to be like their friends.

Christmas and birthdays get more expensive when they get into electronics and would like consoles and video games or mountain bikes and stuff like that.

emlou2009 wrote: »

i actually think we manage better money wise since i'm not working we have less coming in but i'm not tempted to spend on my lunch break on food or anything else, i dont have petrol or parking costs and i think i'm just generally better with money now.

weezl74 wrote: »

mrs tine, your question yesterday got me thinking quite a lot:).... When you talk about it being hard to afford a larger family, did you mean in terms of the things the babies would need or did you mean in loss of income terms because SMP might not go up to the full year next april, or were you thinking of something else?

I'd love others thoughts on what people have found the expensive part of having children to be...

thanks all for any thoughts!

DD announced yesterday that Asda and Primark were the best shops for clothes! :money: She’s gone on her school trip today and were allowed to wear comfy shoes/trainers and she chose to wear her 2.99 Primark pumps. I know when I was that age (maybe a bit older) i’d have wanted the latest branded trainers like all of my friends. She’s a funny child, she can’t think of anything worse than looking like her friends – she’s individual which I guess is good, although it makes for some interesting outfits! She’s having big strops lately because one of her friends keeps getting things that she’s seen Liv wearing and tries to wear the same as her!
I agree Christmas and birthdays get more expensive with age – the Christmas list already includes a DSi and a flat screen tv! :eek: Obviously the normal DS and the colour portable are no longer good enough!
Like emlou – we’re doing a bit better now I’m off work. I only work part time/term time anyway, and we get good maternity pay. 6 months full pay, and 3 months SMP – but the SMP is only £’s different than my normal wage so we won’t notice. I’m not paying £30 a week for parking, £20 petrol, god knows how much when I pop out for a posh sandwich at lunch time and £20 a week breakfast club before school for DD.
Most of the initial expense for the baby was covered by gifts from family and friends. I could have managed with not buying her any clothes – she got so much, but I bought a few bits that were so cute I couldn’t resist.
At the moment, the Child Benefit is covering her expenses – nappies and wipes. I know that will change as she gets bigger.
I know we struggled when we had our first, although again most of the big stuff was bought by my family . We were used to having two full times wages coming in and after the mortgage was paid and the bills, we could do what we wanted with what was left. Then when I went back to work full time when DS was 4 months old, more than half my wage was going on childcare!
If we had any more, we’d have to move to a bigger house – but thats something we intend to do in the future anyway so that wouldn’t be an ‘expense’ of a new baby.
We need to do the ‘big’ discussion about whether i’m going to go back to work in November. :mad: But, OH is halfway through the very long recruitment process for a new, much better paid job so the decision will have to wait until we know! The new job will include shifts of days/nights/off on a 4 day rota (I think), so trying to arrange childcare around his hours & my hours would be a nightmare! It might be easier if I become a SAHM

MrsTinks

emlou - in which case in your place I'd stay home too - it just bugs me that despite working blooming hard I can't get any help to stay home too! It annoys me no end when they go on about "9 out of 10 families qualify for WTC!" - yeah well not all of us do! and I doubt it's only 1 in 10 that don't to be honest!

*sigh* rant over

cazscoob

weezl74 wrote: »

I'd love others thoughts on what people have found the expensive part of having children to be...

Becles wrote: »

I think children get more expensive as they get older, and it's no longer cool to wear Primark/Tesco/Asda clothes as they are into brand names. It happens even if you are anti-brand name like me as they want to be like their friends.

Christmas and birthdays get more expensive when they get into electronics and would like consoles and video games or mountain bikes and stuff like that.

as above, also shoes and trainers they can be sooo expensive and boys like to use them as brakes on their bikes? or ruin them jumping in the burn!:mad:

clothes im finding not too bad at the mo and can pick up some bargins from ebay! i also have a cousin with a little boy older than lewis so she usually sends his clothes down(ben,sherman, fred perry, next, all designer!)

the big buys are usually the most expensive but these can be used for future children.
this has taken ages to type as charlie is posting things out the letter box!

redmel1621

Morning all

Sorry to hear about Iwcus and her son, it sounds absolutely awful. I'm glad they are now being seen at hospital and hopefully will get it sorted.

Elle, Rhys sounds like he is doing amazing...I am another on here that loves reading your updates on how he is doing. He is one lucky boy to have such a positive and loving mummy.

Weezl, I definitely think kids get more expensive day to day as they get older...Yes babies do have a fairly expensive outlay, but then there is not much to pay out for really. My eldest is in the juniors now and wants tuck shop money everyday...of 50p, plus there are all the school trips/discos etc that need to be paid for. He also has just asked me if he can go on a soccer summer school for 4 days which costs £60!!! But all his mates are going so it will be 'soooo not fair' if I don't let him go.

The two older ones are also big into computers and games consoles which cost a fortune!!!

I can imagine it will only get more expensive in high school when I won't be able to get them Asda clothes etc.....and it will be trips to the cinema etc that they will want money for.

The main exception is childcare....this is abviously at it most expensive if they need to go in full-time at pre-school age, and decreases when they are in school as they then only need breakfast/after school care. Once in high school it vanishes but is obviously replaced by other expenses.

God writing it down like that makes me wonder why I ever had kids.....just hink how rich I would have been;)

BTW - the thing I did, was wean him:o

Mel x

emlou2009

MrsTine wrote: »

emlou - in which case in your place I'd stay home too - it just bugs me that despite working blooming hard I can't get any help to stay home too! It annoys me no end when they go on about "9 out of 10 families qualify for WTC!" - yeah well not all of us do! and I doubt it's only 1 in 10 that don't to be honest!

*sigh* rant over

but if i dont go back we wont have enough money to pay the bills, as we arent entitled to housing benefit or income support or whatever they call it these days - its a case of damned if i do, damned if i dont really

3onitsway

redmel1621 wrote: »

BTW - the thing I did, was wean him:o

Mel x

Did you just sneak that in at the end hoping we'd not notice? :rotfl:

If it worked, and he's sleeping through, he was obviously ready for it! You've done this mummy job before - you know whats right for your baby.

We did two weeks of a little baby rice at tea, now we're onto a bit of porrige for breakfast and something veggie and mashed for tea. She's really loving it, and getting excited when she sees the spoon coming - but it hasn't helped with sleeping. (Although last night she did sleep til 6.30am for the first time - hopefully its not a one off!)