Parents organising students lives

dieselhead

I am always shocked at the number of parents on here asking about finances for their children, before I left for uni I had worked out a guess at a budget, had sorted a weekend job and had researched and opened a student bank account. My parents didn't feature in this, other than me asking them to complete their section of the loan form.

Surely 18 year old students should be making up budgets themselves(although as I discovered its a bit of a guess at first). Its their loan their bank account and their money and they need to stand on their own two feet.

Don't get me wrong my parents are great and always there for me and always willing to offer financial advice, but they wouldn't have dreamed of trying to sort my finances for me at 18 nor would I have wanted them too.

Am I alone in finding the number of parents on here asking these questions surprising?

lotties_mum

Just came on to this board for advice not a character assassination. You are obviously not a parent, and with my dh about to lose his job plus another child going to uni next year i was just looking for some practical advice.

linni

When I was 18 we didn't have computer's!

BruceyBonus

dieselhead wrote: »

before I left for uni I had worked out a guess at a budget, had sorted a weekend job and had researched and opened a student bank account. My parents didn't feature in this, other than me asking them to complete their section of the loan form.

Exactly the same here for me. I even ended up filling in my parent's part of the student loan form and collating all their evidence - they just double checked it for me and then signed it.

I am also quite shocked with some of the posts on here, but at least these people have someone to organise their budget (which is probably better than not having one at all).

I help my parents quite a bit with their finances - recommending new accounts etc (as they don't really do much internet browsing). In return, they take me shopping at the start of each term.

dieselhead

lotties_mum wrote: »

Just came on to this board for advice not a character assassination. You are obviously not a parent, and with my dh about to lose his job plus another child going to uni next year i was just looking for some practical advice.

My comments were not aimed at anyone and were certainly not character assassination. However I do stand by my question and ask why he could not come on here himself and ask for information regarding his circumstances next year he is an adult.

I also answered your question giving you your 'practical advice', you sound like you are under a lot of pressure at the moment, however that was no reason to jump on my back.

nearlyrich

It doesn't just affect the student when parents need to make a contribution to fees etc, when my two were going to uni the rules around parental contributions changed three years on the trot and the chance to bounce ideas around with other parents was very useful. My children were both very self sufficient and managed their own money but it was all new to me and I found it helpful to discuss the options with other parents in a similar position and it helped me to save money which is exactly what this board is all about.

lotties_mum

The reason he is not on the board asking these questions himself are because he is out working. Also he is very independent he filled out the other forms himself.we just wanted to know how much we would have to contribute to sort OUR finances out. Bearing in mind we will not qualify for any grants because everything is done by last years tax year.

MrsManda

Lottie's Mum - the OP wasn't referring to you in any direct way so I'm unsure why you are getting so offended.
In general I agree with the OP that parents often moddlecoddle their kids when they're going to university. However there can be many good reasons for this and everybody's situation is different. I personally was amazed about how many students take their parents to university interviews yet my mum's collegues were horrified that when I was looking at universities when I was 17 she didn't come with me - she came home upset thinking that she'd abandoned me
However I think there has been only one time that I'm thought a parent had stepped over the line with a kid going to uni. At my interview for a course in Nottingham, one girl's parents had to be gently but firmly told to stay put when the girl went into the interview - her parents argued that they should be allowed in to stop the interviewer being too harsh! :rolleyes:
Most of the time parents do learn quickly to step back and let their kids take the lead. It's just different situations take different amounts of time to do so.

lotties_mum

Ok sorry if I overreacted. I don't want my kids to go to uni with too little or more importantly any more than anyone else. Someone I know sends her son £400 a month which I find would probably be much more than anyone else would have.

Lokolo

lotties_mum wrote: »

Ok sorry if I overreacted. I don't want my kids to go to uni with too little or more importantly any more than anyone else. Someone I know sends her son £400 a month which I find would probably be much more than anyone else would have.

My best mate gets £400 a month from his dad for maintenance and £250 a month from his step dad as gifts....

I get a lump sum from my grandparents of £2500 at beginning of a year and £225 a month so pay for expenses (accomodation, food and nessecities).

We both have budget spreadsheets and save a lot of our money. We both look around for best deals and have numerous savings and current accounts. He has a credit card to improve his credit rating (I don't as I would spend lol).

I have a partime job as well.

In our respective houses we have set up gas, electric, broadband, telephone for the houses and we are rather domesticated. And male.

My mum told me not to get a student loan as I don't need one. Of course I ignored her and got one anyway as I can make profit out of it.

Not everyone who has rich parents or grandparents get parents to do everything for them.

dieselhead

The majority of parents give their children nothing or very little, most will do a shop for them at the beginning of term. As a student you really don't need a lot of money to live on especially once all your accommodation is paid. Perhaps your could do a 'test' online shop together so that you can work out roughly what his food costs will be (his friend is the basics range). He also needs to find out the costs of materials for his course. If he is currently working then can he ask for a transfer to his new city?

Also if your DH looses his job the student loan can be re-assessed based on your new circumstances, you don't need to wait till next year to do this.