Parents organising students lives

Stubert

If you/your child lives away from home you get can get free dental care/opticians/prescriptions.


My parents earn over the amount for me to get any more sort of loan but I filled out the form and got it every year that I applied. You have to fill it out when you're living away from home, as they often turn you down if you are living with parents when you apply.


I don't really have any sort of savings so that may have helped me get it. I even had a Sunday job in my first year and still got it. It takes quite a long time to fill out the form providing info about accommodation costs but worth the effort.

Info here:
http://www.dh.gov.uk/en/Healthcare/Medicinespharmacyandindustry/Prescriptions/NHScosts/DH_4049391

andyrules

noelphobic wrote: »

I pay for my son's dental fees, although they are usually only the mimimum NHS payment luckily. He should be able to get these for free but the form you have to fill in is a nightmare.

Couldn't agree more. I gave up in the end - they even refuse to accept the student loan letter (can't remember name of it but it's the one indicating clearly that you are indeed a student) as evidence. That's when you have even managed to get hold of the wretched form - took them so long to send it we were out of claiming time.

As for EMA - all students have expenses - and I agree, buses aren't cheap. - for anyone. :rolleyes: If it's meant to help low income families - give it to the one who is paying the bills! And how does paying bonuses on result help the family budget? Let's be honest - it's meant as a bribe to improve the figures of those not in education or training. When the children are schoolage, you get Family allowance and maybe even tax credits. When you need the money most - ie when they move into halls, it all stops!!

The first year mine went to uni, we got into debt to pay hall fees. Students can't fill in the form without the parent, so, yes, parents are involved! Heavily.

noelphobic

Stubert wrote: »

If you/your child lives away from home you get can get free dental care/opticians/prescriptions.


My parents earn over the amount for me to get any more sort of loan but I filled out the form and got it every year that I applied. You have to fill it out when you're living away from home, as they often turn you down if you are living with parents when you apply.


I don't really have any sort of savings so that may have helped me get it. I even had a Sunday job in my first year and still got it. It takes quite a long time to fill out the form providing info about accommodation costs but worth the effort.

Info here:
http://www.dh.gov.uk/en/Healthcare/Medicinespharmacyandindustry/Prescriptions/NHScosts/DH_4049391

We've had the form for ages but it's a nightmare to complete so hasn't been done. My son gets prescriptions and eyesight tests free anyway as he has type one diabetes.

Oldernotwiser

andyrules wrote: »

:rolleyes: If it's meant to help low income families - give it to the one who is paying the bills! And how does paying bonuses on result help the family budget? Let's be honest - it's meant as a bribe to improve the figures of those not in education or training.
.

One person's bribe is another person's incentive!

It wouldn't be an incentive if it were given to the parents after all, they're still getting Child Benefit and Child Tax Credit in this situation so it's the kids who need the encouragement.

andyrules

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

One person's bribe is another person's incentive!

It wouldn't be an incentive if it were given to the parents after all, they're still getting Child Benefit and Child Tax Credit in this situation so it's the kids who need the encouragement.

For what? They either want to be there or not. Actually, it isn't helpful as it just disillusions those kids who are trying for good grades because they are mature enough to do so.

I'm all for bribery with youngsters - do it myself - however, it has to be fair or it divides.

And back to the op - when all kids go to uni, there is no ema there and suddenly no parental benefit - yet huge and immediate bills to pay!

Oldernotwiser

andyrules wrote: »

For what? They either want to be there or not. Actually, it isn't helpful as it just disillusions those kids who are trying for good grades because they are mature enough to do so.

Better to be in education or training rather than wandering the streets!

andyrules

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Better to be in education or training rather than wandering the streets!

or even working and earning money if they don't want to be in FE

andrina_nightshade

I'm in two minds about this. My parents can't afford to support me (even more so now that my Dad has been made redundant and ended up working in a minimum wage job), but they refuse to let me take out a student loan. Apparently the facts that a) I don't repay it til I'm earning over a certain threshold; b) it gets skimmed off my wages along with tax etc, so I don't actually have to physically part with the money and c) the interest rates are tiered to inflation, all missed my parents when they spoke about student loans to "hundreds of other parents".

As a result, I've only ever been able to take out the non-means assessed loan, and as a result haven't been eligible to reclaim my travel expenses. You'd think me explaining everything to them would matter but no. Apparently at 18/19/20/21 I'm too immature and young to understand about things like debt, etc. Yet, I have nearly twice in savings what they have (all from working in a series of low-paid jobs), have never had to pay interest on a credit card debt, and only ever been within my interest-free authorised overdraft once in 4 years. I'll let you be the judge of who has more financial sense.



As for parents getting involved in their children's education, I wish mine had stayed out of it. They interfered, wouldn't let me do things, and generally treated me like a child so much that they ruined a lot of chances for me. I wasn't allowed to sign up to extra credit things, such as the Maths Challenge or Duke Of Edinburgh awards schemes, and they explicitly told my teachers not to involve/offer me such things as I couldn't handle it. What did I end up with? A severe lack of self-confidence and a woefully deficient UCAS form.

Unfortunately, their molly-coddling ran even deeper. I was working on a UCAS application to apply to medicine. I'd gotten the grades, some work experience, and was trying to make up for my lack of extra-ciricular activites when my uncle died. I knew he'd been ill but it still came as a shock to me. I'd been very close to him (he was almost like a second grandad to me), but I hadn't seen him for over a month when it happened. Imagine my outrage when I found out that he had been not just ill, but terminal - and my parents had asked the family to keep it secret from me because I wasn't mature enough to handle the news. I was 17! All of his much younger nieces and nephews had been told. I was so angry and humiliated that I didn't even end up submitting my application - after all, if I was so immature what was the point in applying?

Here I am nearly four later, in the middle of a degree that I hate, trying to apply for medicine again. As a mature grad, I'll get hardly any funding, the hurdles will be even higher and my chances of getting in even lower. all because my parents wanted to do what was "best for me". Thanks a lot. :rolleyes:



I think the point I'm trying to make is, be careful. Be all means provide your children with the information they need, but let them make their own decisions. After all, at 17 we know everything anway Seriously though, let us make our own mistakes. If you've taught your children well, the mistakes won't be nearly as catastrophic as you think.

Shoshannah

A close realtive was halfway through sixth form when they brought in EMA. Before then she had a Saturday job, and her self esteem seemed to improve. Unfortunately the shop she worked in closed down and she lost the job, but shortly afterwards she began receiving EMA. She spent her weekends lazing around moaning because her EMA was late, and when it did turn up she spent it all on rubbish and rarely gave her mother any of it. The saddest thing was, her self esteem seemed to drop and she became quite withdrawn, having lost the independent feeling of earning her own money. She seems to have a different attitude to work nowadays (she plans to go on the dole once she graduates, and she didn't like her summer job because she had to use her wages to pay for her petrol to get to work - well how else do people pay for petrol?).

OK, she's just one case and not everyone has/had her problems. Personally I went to sixth form to learn because I wanted to, not because I was being paid. Had I wanted extra cash (which I didn't at the time) I would have got a Saturday job. I had ample time to work if I wanted. Once I left school I did start work and used to give my mother a contribution towards hosuehold bills.

I don't like the use of the word 'incentive' for EMA. The only incentive to continue education should be your own desire to learn and further your education. Not money, not parents, not for the purposes of avoiding getting a job. Just my opinion.

duchy

I do she where you are coming from-to a degree BUT....... (and I am a parent too) don't you think as this is THEIR future they should be the ones making the effort-and well if football can't be fitted in too-then it's a lesson learnt about priorities and how sometimes we can't do the fun stuff until the "boring" stuff is done.It's a fine line between helping and doing it all for them and making them less self-reliant.
Yes maybe you should get them to sort things out for themselves-they'll actally learn how to do it that way ! Being a student isn't just about qualifications -there are other things to learn too-and that includes learning to take responsibility for your self . Most students (actually most PEOPLE) learn far more from their mistakes -you're actually stopping them learning how to deal with the joys red tape. Advise by all means but maybe you'd be doing them a favour by JUST advising ?

magoogy wrote: »

i felt i had to give my opinion on this as im one of those parents who ask their kids questions on these forums...naughty me....

the reason i post the questions for my daughter who is going to uni or other questions maybe for my son who works full time is because they are usually out at uni/work or off to gym/football or the numerous other activities they do in their very busy lives...as my life isnt as busy i do have spare time to come and post on these forums and definitely do not begrudge helping them by doing this for them...

i am there to help and advise them so they do learn how to manage their own affairs and hopefully not make too many mistakes along the way....we all have to learn somehow but if you do have someone to help you and show you the correct way to go about things through their own experiences they can help you....surely this isnt a bad thing?

or maybe i should just quit helping altogether and let them make a total hash of it all and then tell them to sort it out themselves?

sorry about the rant but i dont see any harm in helping our kids out with out own knowledge.